Reflection

I know this might come as a shock to some, but I'm a bit of an over-achiever.  I can't just do a simple task and be done with it.  I have to "one-up" myself in some way.  I'm not really sure why...but I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I'm a first born, and I'm sure that also has something to do with the fact that I'm a bottler of emotion.

Today, I came home with the intent to make beef stew since the weather was getting colder, and by colder I mean my car said "82" when I left work at 2:00 this afternoon and by the time I got home, the outside temp was "68."  It was awesome.  I opened all the windows and the balcony door, and just let the cool breeze do its thing.

As I was compiling the ingredients, I realized I was out of beef stock, and I didn't have any bouillon to make some, so when N got home from school, I bribed him with a smoothie from Market Street.  Worked.  Like.  A.  Charm.  File that one away for future use.  We came back home and I got down to business.  That should have been it, right?

Wrong.  N said he really wasn't feeling beef stew, and I would typically say "So?  Deal with it." but I'm trying really hard to be a little more open and understanding.  I know he's going through a lot.  We agreed on baked potatoes, so as I was scrubbing the potatoes and pre-heating the oven, I thought about potato soup.  So, I made some of that too.

I unintentionally doubled the recipe because the potatoes and onions were huge, so I took my fair share and (on a whim) decided to take lunch to some of my favorite co-workers tomorrow.  It will be the perfect fall-ish day lunch, and I'm happy to be able to do that for them.  There's no way I would ever be able to eat that much on my own.  The boys don't eat it...so that's that.

As I was washing dishes, loading the dishwasher, and wiping down the counters, I had a "moment."  Why do I always feel so compelled to do more than my fair share?  I wish I knew.  It all comes back to how I know I need to slow down and just enjoy my life, but I'm still not sure how to do that.  Again, I wish I knew.

Today, I was blessed with the opportunity to talk to not one, but two of my friends that I don't talk to frequently.  It's always fun to catch up, and I know (with at least one of them) I always have a captive audience.  It doesn't matter how much time passes between our "catch-up" sessions, and I love that I'm able to have that kind of relationship with certain people.

I've been fortunate in all the various stages of my life to have people that I can really talk to and always count on.  I know that doesn't happen to everyone, and it doesn't go unnoticed.  I need to work harder on making sure they know how much I appreciate them and their unwavering support and love.  Everyone should do that.

This morning, I took a somewhat unwanted trip down memory lane.  Don't get me wrong, I love those little memories that make me smile no matter what the situation, but I don't particularly love them when I'm doing my best to close a chapter.  Lucky for me, I'm dang versatile and I don't let things get to me as much anymore.  I'm still able to smile and move on.  Sort of.  It was a girly kind of morning, and my commute included Carrie Underwood, Deana Carter, and the Dixie Chicks. 

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings...or (hopefully) what it won't.

Aubs