My son is one of the sweetest, most compassionate kids I know. I realize I'm his mom so I might be slightly biased, but he really is. He's caring and respectful, and always does his best to be a good example. And he's being bullied.
Starting at a new school sucks no matter what age you are. I've been there...as a kid, I moved every four years or so. I was the new kid in 3rd grade, in 6th grade (twice, and as a Sophomore in high school. It was hard being the new kid, but I'd say 5th grade was the worst for me, and now it seems like it's the worst for him too. It breaks my heart.
He's having a hard time making friends. He tries to play basketball or football with the boys in his grade, but he's always picked last. They say he stinks, but he practices all the time, and he does well...nobody gives him the ball to prove it. When they work in partners, he's always the last chosen, or he gets paired up with whomever is left over. My heart breaks for him when he finally tells me this stuff, but it takes a lot to get it out of him. He's a bottler by nature, just like both of his parents. It's not a good thing.
The stress and responsibility of actually HAVING responsibilities is a new experience, too. Last year was a total walk in the park for him because the school literally had ZERO expectations. He's getting a taste of what it will be like as he progresses in school, and it's stressing him out. Add the bullying and loneliness, and you have a kid time bomb waiting to explode.
He did...in a pretty stunning display of disrespect and hurt. When I finally got him to calm down and actually talk to me, it all came pouring out. My boy feels like he's alone, and he's not. So, I told him about how I was bullied in 5th grade by a group of boys and then by my best friend's other friend. It was less than pleasant, but at the time, it was devastating. N had tears running down his cheeks as he was begging me not to have to tell the things he's called, and I felt (and still feel) completely helpless.
I told him we have to have open communication from now on, and we talked about different ways he could change things. I told him to try to talk to people, not just wait for them to ask him. I told him to find some other kids to play with at recess, or pick some people he doesn't know as well. You never know...someone may want to be friends with you, but aren't sure how to approach you either.
I'm open to suggestions, because I'm really at a loss. I told him if it continues to get any worse, that I will get other adults involved. I want him to try to handle things on his own because I feel it will help him to recognize other kids who are bullied and he'll be able to step up and tell them they aren't alone. I hate to use my own kid as an example, but he has such a great heart...I know he would step in anyway. I feel so helpless, watching him try to fight his own battles, wanting desperately to jump in and shield him from this pain. But I can't. I know it wouldn't help. I know this will, but that doesn't mean that it'll be easy.
Bullies suck. Profound, right?
Aubs
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