What do I remember?
Well, it depends. I remember birthdays, bits and pieces about people who were important to me in different stages in life, the smallest detail of trips I've been on or any number of other things. If you're someone I know, I probably know something random about you that you might not even remember telling me...but don't worry. I'll remember for the both of us.
My memory is precisely why my two male cousins that I've grown up with (on my mom's side of the family) have said, in no uncertain terms, that I'm not allowed to meet anyone they're dating or serious about until "it's too late" for them to turn back. I have no idea why they would say these things. I mean, it's not like I would out them for their serious obsessions with Hanson or their uncanny abilities to belt out the ENTIRE Jagged Little Pill album with the best of them. Who would do that to someone they love? I mean, really.
If any number of my friends are ever unsure of events, and I was around during said events, they know it will be accurately replayed for them, via my memory. I can tell you (usually) how I met you, where it was, and something unique about it. Usually. Sometimes I have a lot of material, and sometimes it's just minimal. Sometimes, people just don't rank that high on my memory scale. It's a truth. I own it.
Today, however, is a particularly special day to me. Thirteen years ago, on this very day, I was hanging out with my sister and some of our Brownwood friends (remember them?), sitting on the floor in one of their homes, when the front door opened and this guy I'd never seen before walked in. I still remember it like it was yesterday. We spent the entire day together, and before my sister and I left to go home, he asked if he could kiss me. I totally remember giggling and saying, "Um, okay!" The whole exchange still makes me smile.
Over the next few years, we kept in touch pretty regularly, and it was obvious (to everyone) that we had a thing for each other, but we were never on the same page. Life happened, as it often does, and we drifted apart...but always managed to reconnect and vowed to stay in touch. He was one of the only people (still is) who wouldn't sugarcoat things or dance around the issues, and even though I sometimes hated him for it, I loved him for it too.
He might've been my first real love, but we never really had the opportunity to test that theory. I lie. We had tons of opportunities to test that theory, but we were never on the same page at the same time, and if you've ever been in a similar situation, you know how agonizing that can be. At one point, I had to "quit" him because my home life was suffering. Dealing with a man who's jealous of another man you've known for a large portion of your life is always crappy. Ego stroking is rarely pleasant...but I did what I had to do for my family, and I missed him all the time.
Fast forward to October, 2012. He'd been popping in and out of my brain for months, but I never took it any further...until I did. We reconnected on (oddly enough) October 9, 2012, the exact same day we met twelve years ago. Kinda crazy, right? Although we ebb and flow like most long-lasting friendships/relationships do, I think of him on days like today. I hope he's happy where he is, because no matter how much time or distance passes, he matters to me.
It's just one of those things that will never go away, and I'd never want it to... You hold onto people who mean something to you, just like I hold onto the most random memories of those I care about the most. You just never know when they won't be around anymore to reminisce with you.
Aubs
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