You've probably heard the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child" and I think that's a pretty accurate statement. I wouldn't be able to be half the parent I am without my village of people who help me when I need it; whether it be helping watch my boys or lending an ear while I vent. I think everyone needs to vent regularly...it seems like single parents need to vent a whole lot more. Think about all the dynamics involved with single parenting. There are rules at your house, the other parent's house, grandparents houses, stepparents, step siblings, new siblings, animals, sports, activities, scheduling conflicts...the list goes on and on. It makes me tired just thinking about it. I deal with each of those issues with both of my boys on a regular basis. It wears me out and runs me down pretty quickly.
Enter: Chicken soup. I am so fortunate to have two great parents and a wonderful sister/brother-in-law. Even though my parents divorced when I was a teenager, they've remained friends. We still do major holidays together, and even birthdays. I realize that's rare, and that makes me sad. Neither of my parents have remarried, but they have a deal to put them at ease during family functions. Neither of them brings a date to said functions unless the other has ample notice. It's not a system that works for everyone, but it works for us. My sister and brother-in-law are such a grounded couple. The love they have for each other is obvious in everything they do, and I'm so thankful that they found each other. While they don't have any kids of their own, they have June, who is a sweet guard dog who does NOT like B. (The feeling is mutual.)
When I need a quick recharge, I can talk to any of them. I tend to gravitate towards my parents, mostly because my sister is usually super busy, but I know if I need any of them, they're there for me. They make me see reason and logic when I'm upset or angry. They validate some of what I say, but make me realize that I might be going a little overboard sometimes. Yes, talking on the phone is all well and good, but sometimes it just isn't enough. And when it isn't, I escape.
My mom lives locally, so I see her at least once a week. I talk to her on the phone almost everyday, even if it's just for a few minutes. She comes to all of the boys' special events that she can, and is amazing when it comes to reorganizing her life so she can be there. This means more to me than I can express. When I need a serious recharge, I go to Houston. I feel like I go a lot. I'm down there at least once or twice a month, and I wish I could go more often. There have been so many times where I haven't even realized I was having a rough time...until my dad opens his door. I can't count how many times I've collapsed into his arms and just felt relieved and safe. That's when the tears come, and crying isn't something I do often.
My family is my chicken soup. They're the magical mixture of ingredients that build me back up when I'm feeling puny. Their words and uncanny knack for showing up are like the broth that makes me stronger. I feel their sincerity and love throughout my body, just like soup warms you from the inside out on a cold day. I'd be lost without them...empty and incomplete. I hope someday my boys will be able to see what a great gift an awesome family unit can be INSTEAD of asking me on a regular basis when they can have a stepdad. Truth? I don't know the answer to than question, and I don't know if that's something that will ever be a reality. It hurts sometimes, and makes me feel like I'm not enough...but I know I am, because I'm part of a pretty amazing village.
Aubs
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