Thursday, May 14, 2020

I might throw up...

It's the night before the APUSH Exam, the exam my kids have been working towards all year or, rather, they would've been if it hadn't been for the damn Coronavirus. Two months ago we got the biggest plot twist we had never really imagined and it all comes down to tomorrow. That's not dramatics; it's facts. Assuming they all sit for the exam and assuming there are no submission issues then I'll be able to read their responses in a couple of weeks and see what exactly they know or don't know.

While I know it's not entirely true, I still find it extremely hard not to shoulder their failures/successes because my job is simply to prepare them as best I can. What they do (or do not do) is entirely up to them. They've been given the tools and the feedback they need to be successful. Some of them have been much more receptive than others. Some have asked for help while the majority have not. Some have emailed me TODAY for the first time since March 12 to say, "So when is this test and what do we have to do?" It's out of my hands, and yet, it feels like I'm the one sitting for this test. It's something most don't understand unless they've been in this situation.

I'm taking bets on whether or not I sleep tonight because, if I'm basing it on how things are going right now (10:24 p.m.) then it's going to be a long ass night. There's so much going on inside my head at this precise moment and there's no way it's going to shut down for the night. It's cool. It's fine. Sleep is overrated.

I have a student who is registered for the exam but, with this e-ticket stuff (since the exams are being taken from home), their ticket is missing. They're definitely registered for the exam but they don't have access to a ticket, a ticket that's supposed to be sent to them 48 hours before their test. They told me at 6:30 tonight. They have to login at 12:30 tomorrow for this test. What could possibly go wrong?! I had them call the College Board. I tried to find their ticket. I texted my AP Coordinator. I texted the District Coordinator. She contacted her testing coordinator...everyone is trying to get this precious darling their ticket. Now they have to call the College Board again in the morning while all of us try to do the same to get this ticket issued. This kid has an excellent chance to score well and I'm not about to let a hiccup stop them from being successful. I've been helping them build self-confidence for an entire school year. We're not losing any traction here.

I sent a video to all of my students, past and present, to tell them that I'm thinking about them and that they know more than they think they do, to not get hung up on writing a killer essay...to play the points game. Some of them will hear my words and focus on that. Others, overachievers like myself, will stress themselves out to the point of utter panic. Been there. Done that. Doing it right now.

There is so much uncertainty right now, with my testers and with what comes next. How will next year go? Will it be as close to normal as possible? Will we have time to prepare? I'm fearful of what the future holds but also cautiously optimistic as well.

It's a weird place to be.

Aubs

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