Miserable.

When I went to bed last night and I couldn't get comfortable and I was just...hot...I knew it was going to be a hell of a day today (all puns intended).  This happens sometimes, usually when I don't consume caffeine and I'm going on day 2 of no caffeine. Someone asked me "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" and I honestly have no idea. Perhaps that's why I've been in a state of "meh" these days.

Caffeine brings me joy. I own it.

As a side note, I don't know what Jenny from the United States Postal Service did but my VIP (very important package...of hair dye) was delivered this afternoon. This was, of course, after I spoke with the company and they reshipped my order, for free, with expedited shipping. Hopefully they got the notification early enough to stop it from shipping. I'm going to attempt this great feat tomorrow. What could possibly go wrong?!

I was so not in the mood to people today. In fact, I contemplated skipping my daily Zoom call with my co-workers because I just wasn't feeling it but then I wound up doing it anyway. #REGRETS. I had a Zoom session with a few of my kids about an assignment right after that so, by the time I was done...I was really done. It reminded me of a song, by Lit I think, called "Miserable." Its lyrics are rockin' and I'm going to have to add it to my rotation: "You make me complete. You make me completely miserable."

So I decided to watch a pilot of a show called "Council of Dads" which, if you haven't seen it...DO NOT DO IT unless you want to ugly cry and legitimately lose all ability to control your emotions over a television show. Needless to say I can't wait for the next episode. Apparently it's based on a book so that's on my "must order" list. Glutton for emotional outbursts and all that, I suppose.

I have been in just an over all funk for the past couple of days and that's something I try to be transparent about because I tell people all the time, especially now, it's okay to be not okay. It's okay to have bad days. It's okay to be pissed at the world or to want to curl up in a ball and cry...as long as you don't stay that way. Take a day (or a few) and then get back out there. Enjoy the sunshine. Rock out to your favorite songs. Make a new playlist and surprise yourself. Make a new recipe. Write a note or a text or an email to someone who matters to you.

There are so many mini-mood boosters that do so much with such minimal effort. For me the turnaround was a text that I wasn't expecting. Did it "fix" me? Absolutely not. But it did make me realize that the only person who's going to get me out of this state of blah is myself. In another conversation I was talking with someone about money and its correlation to happiness. The other party was saying that money can, in fact, lead to happiness and I was countering with the point that if you're miserable before you have money it doesn't change the fact that you're still unhappy...you just have the ability to buy more stuff...which doesn't make you any happier in the long run.

I love conversations that inspire and challenge and make you think and love them even more when they come from the most unexpected sources.

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring but I do know it will bring coffee...come hell or high water.

Aubs