So, I have a confession to make...this tragedy in Connecticut has been almost incapacitating to me. My life revolves around 5th grade and 1st grade, and it's been entirely too easy (in the worst possible way) for my to transpose myself into the lives of the parents who lost their children. I don't know if that's healthy or not, but I am appreciative of the fact that I'm able to grasp even a tiny inkling of what they must be feeling...because I think it helps me to be a better person and a better parent. Or, at the very least, I hope I'll get there.
Anyway, the children and adults who lost their lives have been on my brain so often. At church on Sunday, our pastor read the poem that's been circulating the web. It goes like this:
"Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
I knew I wasn't alone in my sorrow, and I was relieved to see that I wasn't the only one who was a soggy mess as he read it to the congregation. In fact, the woman next to me passed me a kleenex from her husband as she took one for herself. It is so tragic, and so many people can relate, whether they have kids that age or they're teachers or any number of reasons. Sadly, the holidays are often a time of loss. It isn't ever planned or even anticipated, but it happens entirely too often.
Enough of the depressing...let's get to the elfing! Because of the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary, and the fact that I'm always thinking about these kids I won't ever meet until I get to heaven, I decided to jump on the Random Acts of Kindness train. I won't call it a bandwagon, because I pray that it's something that sticks. People need to be nicer to each other in this world.
I am actually doing 28 random acts of kindness in honor of everyone who lost their lives. I wavered on doing something in honor of the shooter, but decided that he probably needed the most help of all, and while I will never understand why he did what he did, I will do something to start the process of counteracting the evil by doing good. I began by taking 9 cards and writing quotes about kindness on them. Then, I added a little note wishing the recipients a happy holiday season, and ended it with "Random act of kindness in honor of Sandy Hook Elementary student ________, (age)."
I had a gift card in my wallet that had been there for a while, so that was the first card. I went to Old Navy to pick up some Christmas jammies for my mom, and walked around looking for the right person to give the card to. I saw a woman with her son, and her son was probably N's age. I walked up to her, handed her the card, and said, "Merry Christmas!" As I walked off, I heard the boy ask her what was in it. On each envelope, I had written "Random Act of Kindness #__" so she started explaining what that meant. To her her explain to her child how it was a good feeling to do for others, even when you don't know them, made me sure I'd given it to the right person.
As I waited to pay, I thought about what I would do next. I bought two $10 gift cards, and gave one to the lady behind me who looked completely stressed out. I gave another one to a woman who looked so sad walking through the parking lot. It's not much, but it's the unexpected gift that (I hope) will make peoples' days...not the amount. My next stop was Starbucks, where I bought a drink in the drive-thru. When I got to the window, I purchased a $5 gift card, and paid for the car behind me. I gave the gift card back to the cashier with a note, saying, "Enjoy a cup of coffee on me today, and another one sometime in the future. Merry Christmas!" The cashier was surprised and said he had only seen that happen a handful of times.
My favorite gift of the day, though, was back in the parking lot of Old Navy. I noticed the pants I'd gotten my mom were messed up, so I went to switch them out. As I was walking through the parking lot, I saw a woman walking around, showing people a piece of paper. I never got close enough to have her try to give it to me, but I'm sure it was a note saying something to the effect of, "I have children and no money. Please help me buy them presents."
I have a problem with that. If you're going to ask people for money, have the respect for them and the self-respect to actually verbalize your wishes. Handing them a note is not nearly as humbling as asking for help. I'm not trying to be hard-hearted or callous, but I'm much more open to helping someone if they have the courage to come up to me and tell me what they need. Language barrier or not, speaking goes so much further than passing around a note. She approached a woman who went to her trunk and handed her a clear plastic bag of toys. The lady said, "Are these for me? All of them?" The elf in disguise said she had been planning to donate them, but she was happy to give them to her because she needed them. In a flash, I was digging in my purse for my emergency $20. I stuck it in an envelope, and knocked on the woman's window. When she rolled down her window, I told her that I witnessed her kindness, and wished her a Merry Christmas. The look of surprise on her face made my afternoon.
I went home, sent up Coke & cookies for Santa, took a picture, and then took an "after" picture since I'm spending Christmas Eve at my mom's house. We've been working on a puzzle, watching movies, and making spinach artichoke dip. Her jammies were a big hit, and it's been such a relaxing evening.
I hope each and every one of you have a wonderful holiday, celebrating with your loved ones and just enjoying each other. May the Lord bless you and your families, today, tomorrow, and everyday.
Aubrey
Sidenote: I have given away 5 cards so far, and can't wait to commit more random acts of kindness as the year continues and 2013 begins. Will I stop at 28? I don't know...I kind of don't think so. The feeling you're brightening someone else's day, someone you don't even know, is really one of the best feelings ever.
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