Whether it's the kid who tells me, "I don't know how to read you. I can't figure you out." or the several who reach out to me via our messaging system about things that are going on in their lives, I know that I am making an impact in their lives and, let's be real...that's the reason I do what I do: to make a difference and to make sure my kids know that I've got them, always.
This might come as a shock but I am a very social person. I enjoy meeting new people, talking to them and getting to know them, learning new things, and laughing. I love laughing. And rolling my eyes. As a teacher of high school students I do this frequently. Oh! And deadpan stares. I'm REALLY good at that one these days. So when my district opted to close for 24 days (including 11 days of Spring Break) my immediate thought was "I'm going to die (without social interaction)." It's a good thing I'm not dramatic.
No, if I'm being real my first thought was "What are my kids going to do?" So many of them look forward to coming to school to socialize as well as learn. So many of them come to school for love and acceptance and acknowledgement of their existence. When the information was sent to staff I did the first thing that came to mind: I made a video. I promised my kids I would let them know as soon as I knew anything and I will do whatever I need to do to make sure I fulfill these promises. The main issue was that I was in the longest, slowest-moving line ever at a grocery store I never go to because I branched out since "Mexican grocery stores never run out of stuff," per my students. While they weren't entirely wrong, there was a whole lot of chaos going on so it took a while for me to send the video. So, there I am: glasses, absolutely no makeup, wearing a hat to hide my identity in case I am recognized, in the parking lot of the grocery store, on take two of the video (because I didn't like my face in take one...honesty is the best policy) and I'm finally wrapping it up when "IT" happens. A bird lands on the hood of my car. I'm about to hit the button to stop recording but then I see the shiny, irridescent, creepy eye of a crow staring at me and I dropped my phone, hitting the stop button in the process. I'm glad because I think I'd have to do a third take if I threw up on video.
Then my kids started responding and I love that they respond to me. I love that they aren't afraid to tell me what they have on their minds: their fears, their concerns, their excitement, their joy, their...anything. I know that trust doesn't come easily and I am so grateful that I have gained that trust. It took work. It took vulnerability on my part, not to mention perseverance, and it's always a work in progress but those kids, man...they make my job not seem like a job.
And then there are the delightful blessings who immediately respond to say, "WE HAVE THREE WEEKS FOR SPRING BREAK?!" and I'm mentally bashing my head into the window as I reply, "No, dear one...you're doing distance learning so we don't have to go to school in June. You DO have to participate as best you can." Another says, "Yeah, so my internet just got shut off, so I guess I can't participate," to which I reply, "You know I teach your sister, too, right? And you know she'll take care of her responsibilities, so perhaps you should work to get your stories straight." And while it's sometimes exasperating it is almost always entertaining so I just laugh and remember how grateful I am that they do reach out and just talk to me.
There are others who are hesitant to admit it out loud but I know they are bummed about not being in school for three weeks. It's so much more than a place to get an education. It's where they go to belong or to excel. Because of that, and also because I literally can't imagine zero contact for three weeks, I am firing up the Remind with daily messages (nothing new) and working to set up a Zoom account to do video conferencing, discussions, and other interactive lessons. Some will do the work because they are motivated and some will show up solely for entertainment. Sometimes I'm boring but most of them will say they show up because they never know what I'm going to do next. It's all part of the "Dubs" experience! :)
Truth be told, though, I am concerned about this whole pandemic, not because of the illness but because of the dramatic change in routine. I am concerned for those who will lose sight of the end game during this hiatus from daily routines. I am concerned for those who are already stressing themselves out about tests in May because the majority of my kids are doubly tested in the same week with state testing and AP exams. This is hugely detrimental to my AP classes but they are not the only students who are in this boat. If we only get through the 1920s, then that's what we can do. The AP exam will be scaled accordingly. This is a huge plot-twist but it is also an amazing way to incorporate the fact that we are constantly living history in our daily lives. Someday they will be able to tell their children and grandchildren how they lived through a pandemic when they were juniors in high school: where they were, how they felt, what they experienced. That is the most valuable lesson in all of this, I think. As a teacher, I hate not being in the classroom with my kids. I hate breaking routine and I miss them terribly...even though it's basically been a normal weekend, it's the fact that I know this "weekend" is multiplied several times over and that is where I struggle. I'd argue some of them are struggling with it, too.
It's day 3 of 24 and I'm bored out of my mind but it's fine..it's fine...it's fine. Probably. I have everything I need and my own boys have everything they need but I do worry about whether all of my school kids have what they need. Several of them have sent scholarship essays to me so I can read and help to edit them and, I must say, it's been fun learning about what people would see if they were to do an internet search on them in 30 years.
So, in an attempt to maintain normalcy, I continue to send musings, articles, and fun facts. I suggest and accept recommendations for things to watch, read, and eat. I reveal far more of my nerdy side than I ever intended but it's all part of my charm. Or something. I swear it's endearing.
HOWEVER, I am seriously regretting saying "Bubble life is the best life" over and over last week. I was referring to the United States and its stance on isolationism...NOT THIS HOT MESS.
I'm bored. Help!
Aubs
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