I'm pretty sure I'm losing the last few shreds of my sanity. I've laughed entirely too much today over things that aren't even really funny. No, drinking wasn't involved...and, while I AM entirely sleep deprived, I don't think that has a whole lot to do with it either.
But when my best boyfriend (our parents met in childbirth class when they were pregnant with us...and we had the same due date) posted on social media that he would kill for some pho and I immediately responded with "pho real?" and then dissolved in hysterical, slightly maniacal laughter, I knew I was close to the edge. So did he because he almost immediately texted me saying, "You want to Zoom in a little while?" My hero! He and his wife and I had what can only be described as an adventure on our video chat. Bless his heart...he's really become "one with his emotions" these days and it resulted in a lot of laughter (us) and more tears (not us). Bless.
I get the keys to my new apartment tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'm excited about this but I'm also kind of nervous. It's a huge leap of faith, renting an apartment sight unseen. I've seen floor plans and a virtual tour of a similar unit but it's not the one I'm moving into and I'm not sure what to expect. I really hope it doesn't suck.
Today I was on a Zoom call with my two partners in crime, brothers that I work with, when one of them and I got an email, simultaneously, to fill out a reference request for my work bestie. While we all understand that she is ultimately looking for something closer to home I, selfishly, don't want her to leave. I 100% wouldn't blame her at all but it's my hope that she hears me when I say "Why would you want to trade something that's at least KNOWN for something that's unknown?" She agreed...fingers crossed!
So, as I sit on the couch and contemplate whether I will go to bed before my new typical bedtime (between 2:00 and 3:00) I have "Pride & Prejudice" on in the background. This movie captivates me every single time I watch it. I don't know why I'm obsessed with it lately but I catch some little nuance I previously missed each time it's on...like just now when Darcy and Lizzie are dancing and then, all of a sudden, they become the only two in the room. LOVE.
Since sleep escapes me I find that I look forward to midnight each night...so I can see what my timehop/memories are on social media. Yes, I am perfectly aware that I'm the lamest of the lame but some of them make me giggle because they're adorable (usually kid quotes/conversations) and some of them are downright HILARIOUS. One of my favorite ones popped up the other day and it simply said, "Oh, men wearing backwards baseball caps and/or driving big trucks...why must you tempt me?"
Still true....SO true. That's my freaking kryptonite. But honestly backwards or forwards makes zero difference to me. It's just hot.
There are a lot of memories that highlight my innate fear of birds and people mocking that very real, and entirely understandable, fear. Birds are gross. They're creepy and they stare and what the hell is up with owls whose head spin all the way around? THEY NEVER BLINK and they're just eerie when they hoot.
The only hoot I like is Hootie and the Blowfish and I stand by that statement...band and solo career.
Aubs
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
Tuesday, May 5, 2020
Staying busy
I move in just a few days. There is a lot that needs to be done. There is a lot of partial packing going on around here and my desire to do anything additional is pretty low. It'll get done but it's going to be chaotic and, while I do enjoy some chaotic situations sometimes, this is not one of those times.
I like my carefully controlled chaos in the classroom. I like the cacophony of noise: laughter, good-natured yelling, the zipping and unzipping of backpacks, the low chatter they think I don't hear (but soon realize I always do with a "How did you HEAR that? You were across the room!" and even the clicking of pens and pencils. I miss going off on tangents and then having to explain those witty tangents which makes them less funny and interesting but also more so at the same time because it's like they're anxiously awaiting the next one...and they're going to get it this time!
I miss the arguments and debates. I miss the roasts. God, I miss the roasts. I miss the bright smiles, the hugs, and the runninginthedoortotellmethemostamazingthingthatjusthappenedandI'llneverguess moments. I miss being able to tell, simply by the looks on their faces, whether their actual mood matches what their words say. I miss my radar for "off behavior" which is rarely wrong. I miss the jokes and the banter. I miss the hugs and the notes and the loitering way some of them pack up to leave so they don't have to rush out the door or those who "accidentally on purpose" leave their phones in the wall pockets so they have to come back later.
I miss them calling me "mom" or one of my other approved name choices. I just miss them. And, a lot of the time, being around them helps me to not miss my boys as much. But, the truth of the matter is, I hate this. This is not the type of mom I ever thought I would be. I have been super active and present in the lives of both of my boys from day 1. I've been room mom and team mom and the house where everyone wants to come hang out, play video games, and eat snacks. That has pissed my boys off but also made them really happy at the same time. Emotions are hard, man.
I just feel so...empty. Perhaps it's the isolation that we're all practicing right now with social distancing and all of that but it's seriously lonely. Lonelier than I realized. Being able to see/talk to my students helps. Going from seeing their faces daily to not seeing them at all is really lame. I had two Zoom sessions today to discuss their upcoming AP Exam and the usual suspects showed up for the first one (4-7 of them) but I had more than I expected for the evening Zoom, including a couple I haven't heard from in a while. It made my heart happy to hear from them and hear their voices even though most of them refused to show their faces. I did get to see a couple of them when I did a drive-thru run for an iced coffee and that made my afternoon.
This whole situation has been a great lesson in slowing down. Everything happens for a reason but I'm counting down to all.the.happy.reunions...with my own boys, first and foremost, but also with my school kids. I can't wait to hug all of their necks and tell them how much I love them.
Aubs
P.S. My AP kids have started to receive their notes. The sheer number of messages I've received since they started being delivered and the tones of surprise and happiness and all.the.feels they've told me they felt...well, it's just been the hugest mood booster to know that such a simple little thing has had such an impact on their mood and motivation. I declare success!
I like my carefully controlled chaos in the classroom. I like the cacophony of noise: laughter, good-natured yelling, the zipping and unzipping of backpacks, the low chatter they think I don't hear (but soon realize I always do with a "How did you HEAR that? You were across the room!" and even the clicking of pens and pencils. I miss going off on tangents and then having to explain those witty tangents which makes them less funny and interesting but also more so at the same time because it's like they're anxiously awaiting the next one...and they're going to get it this time!
I miss the arguments and debates. I miss the roasts. God, I miss the roasts. I miss the bright smiles, the hugs, and the runninginthedoortotellmethemostamazingthingthatjusthappenedandI'llneverguess moments. I miss being able to tell, simply by the looks on their faces, whether their actual mood matches what their words say. I miss my radar for "off behavior" which is rarely wrong. I miss the jokes and the banter. I miss the hugs and the notes and the loitering way some of them pack up to leave so they don't have to rush out the door or those who "accidentally on purpose" leave their phones in the wall pockets so they have to come back later.
I miss them calling me "mom" or one of my other approved name choices. I just miss them. And, a lot of the time, being around them helps me to not miss my boys as much. But, the truth of the matter is, I hate this. This is not the type of mom I ever thought I would be. I have been super active and present in the lives of both of my boys from day 1. I've been room mom and team mom and the house where everyone wants to come hang out, play video games, and eat snacks. That has pissed my boys off but also made them really happy at the same time. Emotions are hard, man.
I just feel so...empty. Perhaps it's the isolation that we're all practicing right now with social distancing and all of that but it's seriously lonely. Lonelier than I realized. Being able to see/talk to my students helps. Going from seeing their faces daily to not seeing them at all is really lame. I had two Zoom sessions today to discuss their upcoming AP Exam and the usual suspects showed up for the first one (4-7 of them) but I had more than I expected for the evening Zoom, including a couple I haven't heard from in a while. It made my heart happy to hear from them and hear their voices even though most of them refused to show their faces. I did get to see a couple of them when I did a drive-thru run for an iced coffee and that made my afternoon.
This whole situation has been a great lesson in slowing down. Everything happens for a reason but I'm counting down to all.the.happy.reunions...with my own boys, first and foremost, but also with my school kids. I can't wait to hug all of their necks and tell them how much I love them.
Aubs
P.S. My AP kids have started to receive their notes. The sheer number of messages I've received since they started being delivered and the tones of surprise and happiness and all.the.feels they've told me they felt...well, it's just been the hugest mood booster to know that such a simple little thing has had such an impact on their mood and motivation. I declare success!
Monday, May 4, 2020
When it's over
Without going into too much detail it's been a really rough calendar year in my household.
I am moving into a new place on Sunday and today I had my 17-year-old son come and pick up the rest of his belongings. He's storing them at my mom's until he figures out what his next move is but it was really hard for me for this to be the path that we had to take.
When he came to get his stuff he was angry and I would imagine quite hurt. We've taken "breaks" from each other before where's he's gone to stay with his dad, temporarily, while we both cool off but this has an air of permanence. No, there's no "air" of permanence. It is permanent.
It breaks my heart and gives me hope all at the same time. It breaks my heart because it is hard to send your firstborn to his dad's permanently. It breaks my heart because the reasons seem so futile and yet they are also so important. It is yet another in a long line of brokenhearted moments in the last year.
I know my stubborn, willful, kind-hearted son is hurting now but there is always hope. It is my hope that he will continue to forge his path and create this life that he desperately wants to make his own. It is my hope that he will know success with a minimum of failure but, if he must fail, that the failure will be something that is useful to him as he redefines success and tailors it to the plans he's made.
It is my hope that one day he will not look at me with anger in his eyes and venom on his tongue and that he will realize that the reason I made this happen was simply because I loved him too much to let him continue this pattern of self-destruction.
My heart breaks and is simultaneously hopeful every single day but today was definitely more heartbreak. And after he was gone I went into his room and took down the curtains. I removed the last few things from the room and bathroom and, as I walked into the hallway while folding his shower curtain, a song came on my playlist, a song that struck such a huge emotional cord with me that I crumpled to the floor and sobbed into that shower curtain like I'd just lost everything.
"Boy" by Lee Brice
"Boy, you're gonna know it all, you'll think you're ten feet tall, and run like your bulletproof and total a car or two. Boy, you're gonna hate this town, wish you could burn it down, that fire in your eyes is twenty counties wide...Boy, you're gonna be so stubborn, yeah, you get that from your mother. I can already see it now, you're not built for backing down."
Even now I can't even describe the pain that I felt and, if you know what I'm talking about, then, listen to me, dear one...I am so sorry. I know your heart is shattered and it may take a long time to pick up the pieces but you can. And you will. And you are an example of strength and grace for us all.
This is a season in life and I understand that but it's just such a really hard season. I truly hope that he and I will mend what has been damaged whenever he's ready. Until then...it's just hope.
Tonight I got in the car and drove...for hours. I gave one of the more gut-wrenching car concerts of my life until I just couldn't anymore. Then I drove home and climbed into bed (where I am now) knowing that sleep will not come for several hours still and I'm probably not done crying yet.
The question is do I help it along by watching a little 2005 "Pride & Prejudice" and just allow myself to completely breakdown? How much do I want my face to resemble a swollen punching bag tomorrow as I host 3-4 Zoom meetings? Will it even help?
I think it's important to understand that my personal life, my life with my own children, used to be the only focus that I had. They were the reasons I started to blog: funny stories and anecdotes about parenting as a single mom to two boys who are pretty dang hilarious and witty, and just to keep it as real as possible. As they got older, they wanted out of the "limelight" of my life. They asked me not to post about them on social media and I respect that, so I did. I was so busy with life and school and trying to be a perfect person juggling entirely too many things...that I let my "outlet" fall by the wayside. Picking it back up again, albeit during a pandemic, has often soothed my soul on nights where nothing else has worked.
Because of their requests, my (venting) focus has changed. While they would like to remain anonymous I also have 170-something other darlings who will remain anonymous, too...but it's way easier to describe the frustrations and hilarity without revealing identities.
So, today, when one precious one sent me a message basically saying, "When is our exam and also how do we do it?" after I've literally made posts at least once a week (usually more), not to mention MAILED them materials with the information inside, done multiple Zoom meetings to explain, and posted resource after resource...I struggled to respond in a way that was productive. I suggested they check their email for emails from the College Board.
And then I did a crazy thing. I TURNED OFF MY PHONE.
Yes. I did. And do you know what? I didn't die. I didn't miss anything important. It all waited for me.
Crazy, right?
Aubs
I am moving into a new place on Sunday and today I had my 17-year-old son come and pick up the rest of his belongings. He's storing them at my mom's until he figures out what his next move is but it was really hard for me for this to be the path that we had to take.
When he came to get his stuff he was angry and I would imagine quite hurt. We've taken "breaks" from each other before where's he's gone to stay with his dad, temporarily, while we both cool off but this has an air of permanence. No, there's no "air" of permanence. It is permanent.
It breaks my heart and gives me hope all at the same time. It breaks my heart because it is hard to send your firstborn to his dad's permanently. It breaks my heart because the reasons seem so futile and yet they are also so important. It is yet another in a long line of brokenhearted moments in the last year.
I know my stubborn, willful, kind-hearted son is hurting now but there is always hope. It is my hope that he will continue to forge his path and create this life that he desperately wants to make his own. It is my hope that he will know success with a minimum of failure but, if he must fail, that the failure will be something that is useful to him as he redefines success and tailors it to the plans he's made.
It is my hope that one day he will not look at me with anger in his eyes and venom on his tongue and that he will realize that the reason I made this happen was simply because I loved him too much to let him continue this pattern of self-destruction.
My heart breaks and is simultaneously hopeful every single day but today was definitely more heartbreak. And after he was gone I went into his room and took down the curtains. I removed the last few things from the room and bathroom and, as I walked into the hallway while folding his shower curtain, a song came on my playlist, a song that struck such a huge emotional cord with me that I crumpled to the floor and sobbed into that shower curtain like I'd just lost everything.
"Boy" by Lee Brice
"Boy, you're gonna know it all, you'll think you're ten feet tall, and run like your bulletproof and total a car or two. Boy, you're gonna hate this town, wish you could burn it down, that fire in your eyes is twenty counties wide...Boy, you're gonna be so stubborn, yeah, you get that from your mother. I can already see it now, you're not built for backing down."
Even now I can't even describe the pain that I felt and, if you know what I'm talking about, then, listen to me, dear one...I am so sorry. I know your heart is shattered and it may take a long time to pick up the pieces but you can. And you will. And you are an example of strength and grace for us all.
This is a season in life and I understand that but it's just such a really hard season. I truly hope that he and I will mend what has been damaged whenever he's ready. Until then...it's just hope.
Tonight I got in the car and drove...for hours. I gave one of the more gut-wrenching car concerts of my life until I just couldn't anymore. Then I drove home and climbed into bed (where I am now) knowing that sleep will not come for several hours still and I'm probably not done crying yet.
The question is do I help it along by watching a little 2005 "Pride & Prejudice" and just allow myself to completely breakdown? How much do I want my face to resemble a swollen punching bag tomorrow as I host 3-4 Zoom meetings? Will it even help?
I think it's important to understand that my personal life, my life with my own children, used to be the only focus that I had. They were the reasons I started to blog: funny stories and anecdotes about parenting as a single mom to two boys who are pretty dang hilarious and witty, and just to keep it as real as possible. As they got older, they wanted out of the "limelight" of my life. They asked me not to post about them on social media and I respect that, so I did. I was so busy with life and school and trying to be a perfect person juggling entirely too many things...that I let my "outlet" fall by the wayside. Picking it back up again, albeit during a pandemic, has often soothed my soul on nights where nothing else has worked.
Because of their requests, my (venting) focus has changed. While they would like to remain anonymous I also have 170-something other darlings who will remain anonymous, too...but it's way easier to describe the frustrations and hilarity without revealing identities.
So, today, when one precious one sent me a message basically saying, "When is our exam and also how do we do it?" after I've literally made posts at least once a week (usually more), not to mention MAILED them materials with the information inside, done multiple Zoom meetings to explain, and posted resource after resource...I struggled to respond in a way that was productive. I suggested they check their email for emails from the College Board.
And then I did a crazy thing. I TURNED OFF MY PHONE.
Yes. I did. And do you know what? I didn't die. I didn't miss anything important. It all waited for me.
Crazy, right?
Aubs
Friday, May 1, 2020
Justin Timberlake Day
You already know...this is the day where Justin Timberlake blows up the internet because it's May 1.
As someone who was a teenager when N*Sync was a thing and, even then, I was like, "What the hell is he singing about May for?" It was me. He was singing about me. Well, not ME...but himself. You know?
There was a department meeting today, which was really more of a check-in, which really means that we all wind up "picking" at the same co-worker because...well, if I were to explain it we'd sound like serious assholes but really, it's not like that.
One of our co-workers asks a lot of questions. A lot of the time they're perfectly good questions. He also takes things incredibly literally so today someone asked him for a house tour. I'm dying laughing as I think about how he was all "Oh, okay..." and looking for ways to be accommodating while everyone laughed. Then co-worker came back onto the screen wearing a seriously bedazzled sombrero and we laughed even harder. And even harder still when we heard about how some of the football coaches got lost WITHIN an apartment complex and couldn't find their truck. Being stuck at home clearly lowers the threshold of comedy.
After the meeting and flopping on the couch for a while I decided I needed to get out for a while so I went for a drive. I drove over to my new apartment then subconsciously drove like I was driving to school while I talked to my mom. I called my dad on the way home and then walked through my condo and out the back door to the track behind my house. As I circled the track, talking to my dad, it just felt so peaceful. Windy...but peaceful. Do I have other things to do? Yes. I have 34 more notes to write to add to envelopes of materials before I stamp them and send them to the last of my AP kids. I have a house to finish packing before I get my keys next week. But instead I just wanted to be outside...so I did that.
While I was out there I firmed up a social distancing coffee date with my work bestie (I CANNOT WAIT) and fielded another request for a tour tomorrow. My landlord has the condo available for sale or for rent so realtors show it for sales and I've been doing FaceTime tours and stuff for my landlord because I am entirely too nice. He offered me $100 of my last month's rent for my trouble but let me just tell you...it's been a whole lot more trouble than that. It's annoying and so much of an inconvenience.
There's a student I usually hear from daily and I haven't heard from her in about a week, to the point where I was genuinely concerned...so I started tracking her down. She didn't answer. Her brother didn't answer. So I started reaching out to friends. They said she posted on Instagram so I knew she was okay but then I get a message: "My sister took my phone because I've been procrastinating...I'm sorry I worried you...I love you, dubs."
Part of me is baffled by how baffled they are that someone who doesn't have to care actually cares. It's such a different mindset for me and I often forget that it's not what they're used to and sometimes they just need a reminder.
Luckily, I'm annoying like that. 😉
Aubs
As someone who was a teenager when N*Sync was a thing and, even then, I was like, "What the hell is he singing about May for?" It was me. He was singing about me. Well, not ME...but himself. You know?
There was a department meeting today, which was really more of a check-in, which really means that we all wind up "picking" at the same co-worker because...well, if I were to explain it we'd sound like serious assholes but really, it's not like that.
One of our co-workers asks a lot of questions. A lot of the time they're perfectly good questions. He also takes things incredibly literally so today someone asked him for a house tour. I'm dying laughing as I think about how he was all "Oh, okay..." and looking for ways to be accommodating while everyone laughed. Then co-worker came back onto the screen wearing a seriously bedazzled sombrero and we laughed even harder. And even harder still when we heard about how some of the football coaches got lost WITHIN an apartment complex and couldn't find their truck. Being stuck at home clearly lowers the threshold of comedy.
After the meeting and flopping on the couch for a while I decided I needed to get out for a while so I went for a drive. I drove over to my new apartment then subconsciously drove like I was driving to school while I talked to my mom. I called my dad on the way home and then walked through my condo and out the back door to the track behind my house. As I circled the track, talking to my dad, it just felt so peaceful. Windy...but peaceful. Do I have other things to do? Yes. I have 34 more notes to write to add to envelopes of materials before I stamp them and send them to the last of my AP kids. I have a house to finish packing before I get my keys next week. But instead I just wanted to be outside...so I did that.
While I was out there I firmed up a social distancing coffee date with my work bestie (I CANNOT WAIT) and fielded another request for a tour tomorrow. My landlord has the condo available for sale or for rent so realtors show it for sales and I've been doing FaceTime tours and stuff for my landlord because I am entirely too nice. He offered me $100 of my last month's rent for my trouble but let me just tell you...it's been a whole lot more trouble than that. It's annoying and so much of an inconvenience.
There's a student I usually hear from daily and I haven't heard from her in about a week, to the point where I was genuinely concerned...so I started tracking her down. She didn't answer. Her brother didn't answer. So I started reaching out to friends. They said she posted on Instagram so I knew she was okay but then I get a message: "My sister took my phone because I've been procrastinating...I'm sorry I worried you...I love you, dubs."
Part of me is baffled by how baffled they are that someone who doesn't have to care actually cares. It's such a different mindset for me and I often forget that it's not what they're used to and sometimes they just need a reminder.
Luckily, I'm annoying like that. 😉
Aubs
Thursday, April 30, 2020
The Great Couch Swap
I swear...sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) my life is just ridiculous. I couldn't make it up if I tried. So let me set the scene for you if I can even do it justice.
3:00: I've finished my AP Zoom for the afternoon and I'm spending some time outside, soaking up a few rays as I try to convince myself to grade a few more DBQs. My phone buzzes and it's a number I don't recognize. They'd like to Facetime. Decline. Then a text message pops up requesting a Facetime tour of the condo. It's 3:37. I suggest 4:00 so I have time to run inside and make sure there's no underwear on the floor.
4:00: Well, she's prompt, that's for sure. I go outside and start from the parking lot. I take her through the house, show her the school behind the condo, fill her in on the differences between CHS and New Tech and she's super interested and very nice. Cool. We talk for about 30 minutes while I show her around, virtually, and answer her questions.
5:00: I text a friend who wants to come try out my couch (which is too big for the apartment I'm moving into next week). We've been trying to coordinate a time for a couple of days. She swears today will be the day.
6:00: I decide I need Starbucks. I drive to the location that was open only to find that it's not open anymore. It's too late to turn back now so I mobile order to the next closest one that's open...which is close to where I teach. I decide an Iced Almond Milk Honey Latte sounds amazing. I join the line of cars wrapped around the building and wait to get my drink. While I wait I look at the description and see it has 4 SHOTS OF ESPRESSO. I go for it anyway; I've already ordered.
6:37: I get my drink. IT. IS. AMAZING. And I say that BEFORE the caffeine has started buzzing through my veins. It's pretty sweet; when I get it again I'll half the honey. My tastebuds are blissed out.
6:45: I remember I need contacts solution and I'm still on the hunt for my skinny cans of Diet Coke that apparently no longer exist so I stop at Walmart because it's right there. (Side note: If anyone knows where I can find any of the tall, skinny cans of Diet Coke - feisty cherry, ginger lime, strawberry guava, blueberry acai, blood orange, twisted mango...any of them, let me know. Seriously. Or buy them!) There is no Diet Coke. I'm am still heartbroken over this.
7:05: I text my friend and basically say, "I swear you better not forget." She responds with "I swear I'm coming." She tries to go to my old house since I've only lived here for 2 years. She pulls up and I greet her with "Do you know anyone who wants to buy/rent this place?" She says, "My sister is moving back here. Let me call her."
7:10: Sister shows up. She walks in and is super excited. I show her around. She loves it. Friend loves the couch. We all load up in our own cars to go back to her house to see if there will be a couch swap.
7:12: It is confirmed that there is a couch swap that is happening. Young adult son and friend (hers, not mine) are voluntold they will be doing a couch swap. Friend's sister tells her husband to come look at the condo.
7:15: Another tour of the condo. He is also a fan.
During this time I've also been texting my landlord and he is thrilled that there's another contender. I feel like I should be getting a commission.
By the time the great couch swap occurs it's after 9:00 but it was a super productive day and it may as well have been 4:30 in the afternoon because I chugged 4 shots of espresso in less than 10 minutes.
But wait! There's more. I get a text message from my friend later on saying "________(name deleted for privacy) is crushing on you!" to which I reply, "Bless. Kindly tell the child (22) that I'm almost 39." and she says, "He just told us and we were all 'What?! You only saw her for two seconds!'" to which he replied, "That's all it took."
Y'all. I'm dying. I am dead. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Aubs
3:00: I've finished my AP Zoom for the afternoon and I'm spending some time outside, soaking up a few rays as I try to convince myself to grade a few more DBQs. My phone buzzes and it's a number I don't recognize. They'd like to Facetime. Decline. Then a text message pops up requesting a Facetime tour of the condo. It's 3:37. I suggest 4:00 so I have time to run inside and make sure there's no underwear on the floor.
4:00: Well, she's prompt, that's for sure. I go outside and start from the parking lot. I take her through the house, show her the school behind the condo, fill her in on the differences between CHS and New Tech and she's super interested and very nice. Cool. We talk for about 30 minutes while I show her around, virtually, and answer her questions.
5:00: I text a friend who wants to come try out my couch (which is too big for the apartment I'm moving into next week). We've been trying to coordinate a time for a couple of days. She swears today will be the day.
6:00: I decide I need Starbucks. I drive to the location that was open only to find that it's not open anymore. It's too late to turn back now so I mobile order to the next closest one that's open...which is close to where I teach. I decide an Iced Almond Milk Honey Latte sounds amazing. I join the line of cars wrapped around the building and wait to get my drink. While I wait I look at the description and see it has 4 SHOTS OF ESPRESSO. I go for it anyway; I've already ordered.
6:37: I get my drink. IT. IS. AMAZING. And I say that BEFORE the caffeine has started buzzing through my veins. It's pretty sweet; when I get it again I'll half the honey. My tastebuds are blissed out.
6:45: I remember I need contacts solution and I'm still on the hunt for my skinny cans of Diet Coke that apparently no longer exist so I stop at Walmart because it's right there. (Side note: If anyone knows where I can find any of the tall, skinny cans of Diet Coke - feisty cherry, ginger lime, strawberry guava, blueberry acai, blood orange, twisted mango...any of them, let me know. Seriously. Or buy them!) There is no Diet Coke. I'm am still heartbroken over this.
7:05: I text my friend and basically say, "I swear you better not forget." She responds with "I swear I'm coming." She tries to go to my old house since I've only lived here for 2 years. She pulls up and I greet her with "Do you know anyone who wants to buy/rent this place?" She says, "My sister is moving back here. Let me call her."
7:10: Sister shows up. She walks in and is super excited. I show her around. She loves it. Friend loves the couch. We all load up in our own cars to go back to her house to see if there will be a couch swap.
7:12: It is confirmed that there is a couch swap that is happening. Young adult son and friend (hers, not mine) are voluntold they will be doing a couch swap. Friend's sister tells her husband to come look at the condo.
7:15: Another tour of the condo. He is also a fan.
During this time I've also been texting my landlord and he is thrilled that there's another contender. I feel like I should be getting a commission.
By the time the great couch swap occurs it's after 9:00 but it was a super productive day and it may as well have been 4:30 in the afternoon because I chugged 4 shots of espresso in less than 10 minutes.
But wait! There's more. I get a text message from my friend later on saying "________(name deleted for privacy) is crushing on you!" to which I reply, "Bless. Kindly tell the child (22) that I'm almost 39." and she says, "He just told us and we were all 'What?! You only saw her for two seconds!'" to which he replied, "That's all it took."
Y'all. I'm dying. I am dead. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Aubs
Wednesday, April 29, 2020
You know what I hate? Packing.
This is not someone anyone looks forward to, I don't think. If you do then I boldly declare there is something wrong with you. By the time I get to the end I either start throwing stuff in boxes without caring whether or not I actually want/need it, threaten to burn it all down, or toss it all in a donate pile to sit in the back of my car for a month. The dumpster is also a solid choice.
I've been in a stalemate with my packing. It feels like I keep packing boxes but the pile of stuff doesn't get any smaller. It's' cool, it's fine...but it's going to be (next) Thursday before I know it and I'm going to be all, "Ummmmmm...yes?" when the movers come a couple of days later and say, "Everything goes?" I'm glad I'm super decisive in all the other aspects of my life.
Although I've been looking for tons of excuses to not pack there are two things I've been avoiding even more: grading DBQs and writing notes to my AP kids for their exam in a couple of weeks. Honestly, I like doing the last thing but it can be tedious. I had an assembly line going for a while when I was gung-ho on getting it done and wrote 2/3 of my letters in a couple of days. Now I have roughly 30 to go and, while I know I'll get them done before the end of the weekend, it seems kind of overwhelming right now. Then again, it's better than having 80 left so I'll take this victory.
Side note: Am I the only one who kisses envelopes before putting them in the mailbox? I think it's supposed to send them with love or something but I do it all the time. The bills I pay the old-fashioned way? Sent with love. Letters to friends and family? Sent with love. Birthday cards? Love. Sympathy cards? Love. Filling up mailer envelopes with all the junk mail I get and mailing them back? All. The. Love.
Right now the easiest way for me to avoid doing things I should be doing is Starz. I've become obsessed with "The White Queen," and I'm super sad I'm on the last episode right now but it segues right into "The White Princess" and then "The Spanish Princess" which I've already seen but will totally watch again so I can watch them all in order. Speaking of period drama...today a kid was telling me that Monster and Rockstar stopped working for them so they moved on to Bang and Reign and I was all, "The show on CW?" and they replied, "Worst show CW has ever made." First of all, I was surprised they knew what I was talking about. Second of all, WHAT?! I'll admit it was cheesy and ridiculous but it's for teenagers. It's supposed to be filled with angst and misunderstandings and hyperactive egos.
Every once in a while it makes me wish for a someone but those moments are fleeting and I remember that being happy as a solo entity is what it's all about. I do enough caring for...well, pretty much everyone as it is. Having a significant other would mean time is being taken away from someone and, if I were a betting (wo)man, I'd say the person it would take the most away from would be me because I would agonize over whether or not everyone I cared about was being loved and valued as best as I could.
That's the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night: if others can feel and fully understand the love I have for, or try to show, them. It doesn't have to be returned; love isn't about equity. It does make me think of the King George himself..."it's only love if you're loved in return..." but I respectfully disagree, George. Sometimes you have to love someone who can't or won't love themselves.
And that's a LOT of people in my life these days.
Aubs
I've been in a stalemate with my packing. It feels like I keep packing boxes but the pile of stuff doesn't get any smaller. It's' cool, it's fine...but it's going to be (next) Thursday before I know it and I'm going to be all, "Ummmmmm...yes?" when the movers come a couple of days later and say, "Everything goes?" I'm glad I'm super decisive in all the other aspects of my life.
Although I've been looking for tons of excuses to not pack there are two things I've been avoiding even more: grading DBQs and writing notes to my AP kids for their exam in a couple of weeks. Honestly, I like doing the last thing but it can be tedious. I had an assembly line going for a while when I was gung-ho on getting it done and wrote 2/3 of my letters in a couple of days. Now I have roughly 30 to go and, while I know I'll get them done before the end of the weekend, it seems kind of overwhelming right now. Then again, it's better than having 80 left so I'll take this victory.
Side note: Am I the only one who kisses envelopes before putting them in the mailbox? I think it's supposed to send them with love or something but I do it all the time. The bills I pay the old-fashioned way? Sent with love. Letters to friends and family? Sent with love. Birthday cards? Love. Sympathy cards? Love. Filling up mailer envelopes with all the junk mail I get and mailing them back? All. The. Love.
Right now the easiest way for me to avoid doing things I should be doing is Starz. I've become obsessed with "The White Queen," and I'm super sad I'm on the last episode right now but it segues right into "The White Princess" and then "The Spanish Princess" which I've already seen but will totally watch again so I can watch them all in order. Speaking of period drama...today a kid was telling me that Monster and Rockstar stopped working for them so they moved on to Bang and Reign and I was all, "The show on CW?" and they replied, "Worst show CW has ever made." First of all, I was surprised they knew what I was talking about. Second of all, WHAT?! I'll admit it was cheesy and ridiculous but it's for teenagers. It's supposed to be filled with angst and misunderstandings and hyperactive egos.
Every once in a while it makes me wish for a someone but those moments are fleeting and I remember that being happy as a solo entity is what it's all about. I do enough caring for...well, pretty much everyone as it is. Having a significant other would mean time is being taken away from someone and, if I were a betting (wo)man, I'd say the person it would take the most away from would be me because I would agonize over whether or not everyone I cared about was being loved and valued as best as I could.
That's the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night: if others can feel and fully understand the love I have for, or try to show, them. It doesn't have to be returned; love isn't about equity. It does make me think of the King George himself..."it's only love if you're loved in return..." but I respectfully disagree, George. Sometimes you have to love someone who can't or won't love themselves.
And that's a LOT of people in my life these days.
Aubs
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Function of dubs
Because I spend an insane amount of time on the internet these days I find all sorts of things I never knew I needed...you know, until now.
I've already decided my next color/fragrance combo will be pink/cherry blossom. It's set up for new shampoo to come every three months and I can adjust as needed. I washed my hair with it last night and let it air dry. My hair feels super soft/smooth and the fragrance is not so much that it's overwhelming. When I woke up this morning my hair was not the freaking train wreck that it normally is and that was also impressive.
But, for real, I do need to get some new pots and pans so if you've got a "go-to" that you love send me a link.
Anyway, I've been seeing custom shampoo adds for the longest time (just started singing Billy Joel...keeping it real) and the thing that I love about the apple cider vinegar shampoo that I use is that it doesn't make my hair look/feel greasy and I can go at least two days between washes. What I don't love about it is how it makes my hair feel when I'm rinsing, like it's slimy and not clean. Regular shampoos dry out my hair and since it's been easily 6 months since I've had a haircut (maybe longer) my hair doesn't need any help in the dry/damaged department.
So I ordered some shampoo from a company called Function of Beauty. I actually researched this company as well as another company, Prose, but ultimately decided that this was the better deal. I took a hair quiz and chose the things that were most important to me (shine, heat protection, etc.) and then I got to choose my fragrance/fragrance level (Options were limited but I went with some type of peach and medium fragrance level) and then I got to pick my color. I picked purple but it was hard to choose. You know you're scraping the bottom of the "life" barrel when you get excited to pick your shampoo/conditioner color.
I've already decided my next color/fragrance combo will be pink/cherry blossom. It's set up for new shampoo to come every three months and I can adjust as needed. I washed my hair with it last night and let it air dry. My hair feels super soft/smooth and the fragrance is not so much that it's overwhelming. When I woke up this morning my hair was not the freaking train wreck that it normally is and that was also impressive.
I did a Zoom with some students to discuss the essay that I assigned them. We went over the entire document and, no lie, I kept turning my head so I could smell my hair. They're used to me being weird by now. It's fine. Anyway, now I'm working on reading their DBQs in an attempt to give them some feedback before we go into the real thing in a few weeks. It's not pretty.
I've also got to get my butt in gear and finish packing but I really don't want to. What I WANT to do is...I don't even know. Maybe I'll listen to some Arctic Monkeys while I figure it out.
Aubs
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