Oh, yay...finals!

As I wrap up my first semester of grad school, I’m working on an essay about how students learn.  To be fair, I haven’t even looked at the prompt (it’s been up since the start of the semester) until this week, which may be kind of dumb since the deadline is on Friday, but I work best under pressure, so I’m okay with my decision.  I am not, however, okay with the various subtopics that are supposed to be included because some of them are just kind of silly.  Once again, I feel like these topics are best suited for someone who has never stepped foot in a classroom.  I jokingly tell my family (or people who know me well enough to know that I’m not being obnoxious) that I’m either insanely smart, or the people in my class are insanely dumb because this semester has taken minimal effort.  It has definitely taken time, but the amount of effort has been significantly smaller than the amount of time.

 

This has allowed my brain to wander into various black holes that require time and effort, both to dig myself deeper, and also to dig myself out when I realize I’ve rerouted my priorities once again.  I was texting with a sweet friend yesterday, telling her about how a mutual friend was supposed to be a guest speaker in one of N’s classes.  We were discussing the topic (emotional intelligence) and it went a little something like this:

Her: I’m intelligent and I’m emotional!

Me: Any woman could rock that speaking engagement like nobody’s business.  It wound up getting cancelled, but I would’ve loved to listen in on that one!

Her: How about Mom, juggling 2 kids, graduating with honors, working on masters, subbing for middle and high school, baking brownies for baseball players, overachiever, amazing person.  So much more impressive and interesting.

Me: Who would be crazy enough to do all that?!  And thank you…you’re giving me entirely too much credit.

Her: I hope that big fat diploma is hanging in a gold frame when you walk in that door with a huge sign…LOOK WHAT I DID!!!!

Me: Oooooor it’s still in the envelope.

Her: NOT OK!!!! You’re a BIG DEAL

Now, it’s obvious why I adore her, right?  Who needs to boost their own ego when others are so sweet to do it for you?  BUT, I don’t really see it as a big deal.  Is it an accomplishment?  Absolutely.  I switched majors more times than I can count and still managed to graduate magna cum laude with an automatic acceptance into the grad program I chose, but I’m pretty sure that most people had the same experience.  And yes, I DID do it as a single parent, but I had serious financial help from my dad, and a couple of seriously amazing professors that I am blessed to call friends now that they are no longer my professors.  It just makes me wonder how different things would be if I had made up my mind as a much younger college student instead of one who decided to change directions as a single 30-something parent with two stubborn mules for children.

I know, I know…everything happens for a reason, and there is definitely a reason I waited as long as I did.  And even if I could do it differently, I’m not sure I would because all of the choices got me to where I am now, and I’m pretty much loving life.  Is it perfect?  Far from it…but it’s mine, flaws and all.  So tonight, while I worked on my essay, N’s dad came over to work on math because I take a hard pass on all things math.  As I listened to them attempt to work, then decide to take a step back, then attempt to work over the phone, I said silent prayers of thanks that math was not my “jam,” and also that my kid would rather fail than ask me for help on anything other than English, History, or Science.  Bless you, my child, for you take a whole lot of stress off of me by ignoring the fact that I exist 60% of the time.  

Things have been fairly quiet on the B-front these days.  He’s at his dad’s house this week since it’s my finals week and each class requires so much time.  But not effort.  Just so we’re clear.  It actually worked out really well for each household to flip flop weeks, so while that means almost two solid weeks without him at home, it means we’ll go into the holiday break together, which is always fun.  Speaking of holidays, it’s my second Christmas in a row without the boys.  Last year, I opted out of my Christmas Day because I had been fortunate enough to have the last three or four due to illness, scheduling conflicts, pre-existing plans, etc.  I spent a quiet morning at home, then went to celebrate and eat Mexican food with one of my friends before going over to an aunt and uncle’s to do the family thing.  I’m not sure what the day will hold this year, but I’m kind of looking forward to the peace and quiet.  I say that now…but I’ll be bored within 2 hours of being by myself.  It’s scientifically proven.

It will be nice to get through my finals this week and N’s exams next week so we can turn off all.the.alarms for a blissful 18 days.  I thought about going to Houston for Christmas, but I just saw my Seester and brother-in-law and dad for Thanksgiving, so that may be too much too soon.  We had a lot of family time from Tuesday-Saturday, let me tell you!  It was all good…but since we don’t often spend that much time together, I think everyone was ready for a little hula hoop (personal space) action after that.

You know what I haven’t even thought about yet?  Christmas.  Not even one little bit.  That should be fun and not at all stressful.

But I’ll worry about that tomorrow…or any time after Saturday.

Aubs