Since I have nothing left to focus on, school-wise, it's been pretty relaxing around here. B gleefully turned off any remaining alarms on Friday afternoon when he got home, and we've been feeding the fireplace all weekend, thanks to a (WONDERFUL) arctic blast that pushed its way through North Texas for the last few days.
And apparently I'm so boring that now the weather takes top priority when I blog.
See, the problem is I have a really awesome story to tell, but I can't tell it just yet...because knowing my kid, he'd find it because...Google. It's so hard to surprise them these days. It almost makes me miss the years where they were thrilled to get ridiculously inexpensive toys that broke within three days. Almost. Not quite.
Today I went to Denton to do a gift exchange with my favorite former professor. We meet for lunch every once in a while, and she had to be at school today, so it worked out. When I walked in, she was on the phone. She saw the blanket in my hand and shook her head, laughing. Then she pulled a bag out from under her desk, a bag that contained the most beautiful cream-colored blanket. We're such twinsies! We had a great lunch and a really wonderful conversation and began a secret mission to locate someone we both care about who has dropped off the radar.
This year I don't have the boys for Christmas, and I've mostly convinced myself I'm okay with that. I'm okay with trading; it's not their fault our family is split into pieces. And although I have a part in that split, it's no longer anybody's fault. It was truly for the best. I'm so much happier this way, and so is everyone else involved...even if the boys DO want a man around sometimes.
Thankfully, I have a wonderful village of people who are willing and able to step up and be involved if I ask, and even if I don't. I have a friend who said he would come give N pointers on skating, and another friend who tutored him in Algebra. I have friends who let me vent about things with B and offer advise and suggestions, or even just let me rant endlessly. I don't think it ever really occurred to me just how much of a village I had until last week.
Last week, I had lunch with a friend, and on the way back to her office, we had the most emotional heart-to-heart conversation. I cried. She cried. She told me I always had her back and her husbands back and that I always showed up. It didn't seem like a big deal to me because I don't even think about it...it's just a natural reaction, but she called me the exception, not the rule. And then I cried some more. And she cried some more. And then the windows on her car randomly rolled down, so we both stared at her car in complete silence. She is, honestly, one of the best friends I have ever had. She has seen me at my best, worst, weirdest, most awkward...and she still shows up and loves me no matter what, and vice versa. I would be lost without her.
I'm a fixer. I always have been. I want to help people. I want to make others' lives easier, even if it causes my own to be more difficult. I don't care. I have seen so many people lose people they care about without getting a chance to let them know how much they were valued. I don't want that to be a regret I have...ever. So, when I have someone on my mind, in my heart, or a combination thereof, I'm going to speak up, even if it makes me seem a little nuts.
Needless to say, I've been pretty nuts these days. Memory lane is running rampant through my brain. And for a while, I wished I could turn it off...but now I'm not so sure.
Since there's nothing going on with school, there's nothing super exciting going on around here. It gives the brain a while lot of time to wander.
I'm not sure how that will all pan out.
Yikes!
Aubs
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