I grabbed a little plate of garlic toast (Here's the toast, just for you Jana) and my black currant tea. It was pretty crowded, so I was happy to find a clean table, even if I did feel squished between all of the other full tables around me. I opened my Kindle to read, but kept getting distracted by the conversations around me. Here's where it gets entertaining...hopefully my recap will do what I heard justice.
There was a couple to my left, and based on the initial conversation they were having (they were really loud and impossible to ignore) it sounded like they were on a first date...you know, at Jason's Deli at 12:30 on a random Thursday. The girl was talking the guy's ear off, and it was all about her brother. Her brother has been paying child support, but he doesn't even know if the kid is his, and he had to wait a year before he could contest it and still had to pay $8,000 in back child support, only to find out (after the fact) that the kid wasn't his. "But does he get his money back?" she practically screams, "NO, that whore gets to keep his money." Okay, seriously, I'm all for family solidarity when it's warranted, but she was REALLY way too into her brother's life. He made some sort of non-committal comment, and she started with, "Well, I'm really glad she introduced us, whore or not. This was a great idea...I wish it hadn't taken this long for us to do this." Wait, what? The woman of questionable character and moral standards introduced these two potentially star-crossed lovers? I couldn't help it. I had to sneak a peek at the soap opera unfolding less than 2 feet from my chair.
She had hot pink eye shadow from lash line to eyebrow. It was like nothing I've ever seen, except it matched her hot pink shirt perfectly. At this point, he started talking, in much softer tones, and I couldn't hear what he was saying. I wasn't intentionally trying to eavesdrop, mind you, but she only seemed to have one volume, so it was pretty easy to hear half of the conversation. The next thing I hear is, "Yeah, I know what you mean. That stinks...but you know what happened to my brother? Now he doesn't even get to see the kid that isn't his even though he paid child support for a while. How crazy is that? I mean, yeah, it isn't his kid...but he should still have access to him."
Meanwhile, behind me, there is another very one-sided conversation going on between two women. The older woman is talking about how she just can't justify giving money to those who need help around the holidays because she doesn't know what they'll spend it on, but that she's happy to help purchase gift certificates. She also had a lot to say about decorating walls with polka dots, to which her companion must have replied in a negative way because the woman said, "Well, you just don't know anything about home decor. My neighbor is an interior decorator and she could show you a thing or two." (It actually reminded me of a conversation a friend of mine told me about involving her neighbor and her own lack of decor. Stinkin' snotty women...sheesh!) THEN, to add to her troll-like qualities, she said, "I'd really like to get your husband a gift card to Men's Wearhouse for Christmas. At least that way he'll look decent every once in a while."
Okay, seriously, I would've gotten up from the table right there. It would've taken a ridiculous amount of self control and a huge filter (neither of which I possess) to not tell that woman exactly what she could do with her gift card. I actually turned incredulously, then realized what I was doing, and pretended like I was looking at something else. She lowered her voice after that.
Back to our soap opera, already in progress...Guess what the topic of conversation is now? If you guessed it was back to her brother, you are spot on. By this time, I'm shoveling my food in my mouth at lightning speed, knowing I'm one comment away from bursting with laughter or saying something I shouldn't. The guy manages a subject change to what they should do after they finish eating. A movie? Bowling? "Let me call my brother and see what he's up to. I'm sure he'd love to meet you. It's been so great getting to know you." She's been talking 90% of the time, but I'm glad she's gotten so much information about him.
I finish stuffing my face, and get up to refill my "To Go" cup. I hear her...getting closer, saying, "I'm gonna grab some more Dr. Pepper then we can go. Maybe I'll hear back from my brother by then." I want to say, "Honey, if you're wanting a second date with this man, maybe a dinner or something at night, I'd leave your brother out of it..." but then I get my first full view of her...and her largely pregnant belly. (And here's where the naked comes in Jana...'cause I don't think she could claim immaculate conception.)
I know it's awful of me, but the first thought I had was, "I wonder if it's her brother's..." Then I started laughing. Out loud. While she was literally 8 inches away, totally invading my hula hoop as I was getting ice. She glared at me, or at least I think she did. That pink eye shadow is totally blinding.
I got stuck behind a large group of people clearing out of the restaurant, and am so thankful that I did because I got to witness such a sweet and caring couple, one that made up for all of the trashy drama I had just experienced. A much older couple came in, the shuffling, hunched over gentleman, holding the door for his wife who was struggling with her walker. They came in, and she immediately sat down on a bench, obviously exhausted. When it was their turn to order, he helped her to stand, and held onto her with one hand while he adjusted the hem of her shirt and the waistband of her pants to cover her middle. He never let go, and she clung to him for dear life. After they ordered, he led her to the closest booth, and made sure she was comfortable before he went to get their drinks.
At this point, I kind of just hung back a little to watch, mesmerized by the love these two had for each other. When he came back, he made a run to the salad bar for muffins to eat while they waited...and eat them they did, with one hand, while their other hands were intertwined on the tabletop. It was one of the most precious and endearing sights I've ever seen. Their gnarled fingers twisted together and both of them looking at each other with the sweetest eyes you could imagine. It made me so happy, and so hopeful. If people can still love like that after all their ups and downs, then all hope is not lost.
And although my 45 minutes was wildly entertaining, I almost wished I had gotten there 45 minutes later so I could just sit and watch this couple be together.
Aubs
(Side note: My friend Jana asked via Facebook if my crazy day included naked people and toast. I'm "happy" to say, in a roundabout way, I was able to oblige her request...and kinda weirded out too!)
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