After a day that just started off all hectic and only got crappier, I was not the mom my boys should have messed with tonight. I wish they would have figured it out before they ignored my request four times. This mama blew up, and it was rather spectacular. I believe the highlight (and sadly the part that made me laugh...almost on the outside) was when N said, "I want a new family...or at least a mom who loves me." Most of you would think that was sad, but seriously? I'd been getting onto them all night to do their normal routines, only instead of saying "Hey it's time to _________," I was saying it at least three or four times. I'm glad they were getting along and having fun together, but really? Blatant disrespect. That outburst came after I told him to brush his teeth. Four times.
I stomped (quietly, since we live on the second floor) into their room and said, "Get your butt into the bathroom now, or I'm gonna spank it!" And he totally overreacted. After that, B got a turn for bringing a cup (sans lid) into his room so he could eat ice. Totally not okay in this house, the cup in the room OR the eating of ice. Like I said, a bunch of little things, but overall, just blatant disobedience and an obvious disrespect for their mom.
That's when we had a powwow. That's when N rolled his eyes at me and I lost it. That's when I said it wasn't working and we all needed a time out. SO, after counting to 10 and then hugging and kissing both of them, reminding them how much I loved them and what their best qualities were, I went into the living room to fume. Silently.
And then I decided to make pie...and then I decided that we needed some quality time, so I got them out of bed and installed them as helpers. I think this will be the best pie ever. They helped measure and stir and rolled around in the kitchen in their roll-y chairs, giggling and pretending to be borders of the United States and Mexico, refusing each other entry. Yeah, I have no idea where that came from either, but B couldn't guess the password that "starts with a B and ends with an N and you hear it everyday at least 76 times..." so he was denied entry to the United States. He snuck across the border, but was caught rather quickly by the border patrol by means of rolling over his toes.
As they sat there, eating Clementines and giggling like goofballs, I wondered where these two had been earlier when they were being pains in my rear and making me rethink the whole parenting thing. Because, seriously, there are days (and today was definitely one of them) where I wonder if I was really cut out for this. I say it all the time, but patience is not a virtue I possess in great quantity. I'd say it missed me all together, but I have huge amounts of patience with kids that are not my own. Perhaps I have my expectations set a little too high, but I don't think they're unattainable. They go above and beyond my expectations all the time...if it benefits them.
I hope we can get back to the basics and really enjoy our time together next week. I'm really looking forward to it, although I feel (by the end of it) my dad's liquor cabinet will be in dire need of restocking. I also have a feeling that there will be a lot of ups and downs, but hopefully the ups will outnumber the downs. And that phrase reminds me of Robin Hood, and the song that's playing when the movie is showing all the poor people that the Sheriff of Nottingham has put in prison, and the song says, "Sometimes the ups outnumber the downs...but not in Nottingham." Some would call this a gift, while others would call me crazy. But I'm right.
Also, today was B's Thanksgiving feast at school. After a desperate email from his teacher last night, I agreed to go help this morning with the festivities. Apparently, my filter was working today because holy cow...some people are just ridiculously unfriendly, rude, and catty. I'm not, nor have I ever claimed to be, the most artistic person, and I'm far from a perfectionist (I just play one on tv), but I do think I can tape butcher paper to a table with a relative amount of success.
Or not. Because another woman followed me around, redoing my job right after me and griping when I quit. I stopped doing it because she was just going to redo it anyway, so why should I waste my time? She noticed and complained very loudly. Kiss it, sister. Also, this same woman was the one who would not "allow" us to make one row of tables yellow, one row orange, one row brown, and one row green. Oh, no. Each small table needed to be covered with a different color, but they needed to overlap a little, so it looked like Indian corn.
Seriously, y'all. I can't make this stuff up. I just stared. There were so many ridiculous things that people came up with today, and I just kept my mouth shut. Why? To argue with them would belittle my intelligence, and they'd just do it anyway. The kids loved it and had a great time, and that's all that matters. Here's my little pilgrim, munching on his celery:
My bigger turkey is doing the school television show tomorrow, Friday Live, and he's really nervous. He's responsible for birthdays, but can't announce his brother's because it's one day after his cut-off. I told him to do it anyway, but he asked and they said he couldn't. I think it's dumb, but hey...I don't make the rules. At least not there.
I'd really like a "redo" on today, but each time I get frustrated or irritated, I always find someone, somewhere who has it worse than I do. This afternoon in Midland, a train and a parade float carrying wounded veterans collided. How horrible is that? It hurts my heart to know that some of these people who have fought so valiantly for our country were killed during a parade in their honor, and several more of their brothers and sisters were wounded. Accidents happen everyday, but this is just a tragedy. My heart goes out to those who are injured, the loved ones of those who died, and to their brothers and sisters around the world, fighting to protect us while we go about our business as usual.
Like I tell my kids, sometimes life just isn't fair...but this is just heartbreaking. I keep reminding myself that God is in control, and He has a hand on this. It doesn't make it any less sad, but it does bring an element of peace that only He can provide. Hold your loved ones close...and make tomorrow count for all it's worth.
Aubs
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