I've tried really hard to not let my kids get wrapped up in all things material. When I was growing up, it wasn't always about the gifts we received, it was about the memories. My birthday is in the middle of the summer, so I remember pool parties and splash days and tons of friends. Back in the day, you could have a ton of kids at your birthday party because, let's face it...expectations weren't that high.
Now, it's all about what kind of stuff the kids get in their goodie bags, and where the party is held. It's all about the expensive gifts and the quantity of gifts...not about the time and thought that was put into it. And it makes me sad. It's one of the reasons I tend to steer clear of birthday parties where we invite the class or tons of friends. I don't want my kids to come to expect a ton of stuff.
As it is, they've been spoiled. B's dad is constantly buying him something, rewarding him for a job well done, or simply just because he wants to. It sends the wrong message, in my opinion. I'm all for earning rewards, but why should I go buy him something for making his bed and picking up his clothes for a week? He's almost 7...my sister was doing her own laundry at the age of 5. This is the world we live in, people. It's frightening.
I made a deal with both of the boys: If they can get along, exhibit respectful behavior to each other, their parents, and others, and be responsible for their chores for 7 days, I'll give them a prize. They have to do it together; it's all or nothing. If they go 14 days, they get a bigger prize, 21 days will score them an even bigger prize, and if they can go an entire month? I'll buy them an XBox 360. It's a win for everyone...and so far, they haven't made it past two or three days.
I don't think it's impossible, but it's a lot more work than they're willing to take on right now, and that's their choice. I truly hope they make it at some point; the offer will stand for as long as they're willing to try. There are a couple of limitations for each prize level: a monetary limit and also an appropriate factor, but other than that, it's totally up to them.
Back to the birthday list. I've been asking B for the past couple of weeks what he would like for his birthday. Today, he called me from his dad's car to tell me what he wanted. I'm not sure if this is HIS list or his dad's...because I could hear his dad offering input in the background. I don't know about you, but I kind of like it when my kids tell me what they actually want, not what other people tell them they want...but I digress.
1. A skateboard. (Nevermind the fact that he's only turning 7 and has all the grace of a rhino.)
2. A mini iPad. (Because he's responsible enough; nevermind that he's thrown his iPod touch in the washer at least 3 times in the last month or two...a mini iPad won't fit in his pocket.)
3. Legos: any kind. (Apparently he wants to make sure I have tons of material to fill more lamps.)
4. Birthday money. (After some obvious discussion in the background, he amended that to $30.)
5. Guitar/Drum. (I have nothing witty to say about this, aside from when hell freezes over.)
6. Baseball stuff. (THIS? This I'm good with. It promotes exercise, plus he has a mean swing.)
7. Games/Puzzles (This kid loves Yahtzee. It's a little bizarre. Nana's his favorite game partner.)
He never mentioned video games, Nerf guns, or toys of any kind. This is how I know the list is not entirely accurate. I know my kid a little better than that...however, if any of y'all want to fulfill anything on his list, you're more than welcome. Just be forewarned. If drums or a guitar show up at my house, I will hunt you down and break them over your head...after politely thanking you, of course.
Aubs
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