Without going into too much detail it's been a really rough calendar year in my household.
I am moving into a new place on Sunday and today I had my 17-year-old son come and pick up the rest of his belongings. He's storing them at my mom's until he figures out what his next move is but it was really hard for me for this to be the path that we had to take.
When he came to get his stuff he was angry and I would imagine quite hurt. We've taken "breaks" from each other before where's he's gone to stay with his dad, temporarily, while we both cool off but this has an air of permanence. No, there's no "air" of permanence. It is permanent.
It breaks my heart and gives me hope all at the same time. It breaks my heart because it is hard to send your firstborn to his dad's permanently. It breaks my heart because the reasons seem so futile and yet they are also so important. It is yet another in a long line of brokenhearted moments in the last year.
I know my stubborn, willful, kind-hearted son is hurting now but there is always hope. It is my hope that he will continue to forge his path and create this life that he desperately wants to make his own. It is my hope that he will know success with a minimum of failure but, if he must fail, that the failure will be something that is useful to him as he redefines success and tailors it to the plans he's made.
It is my hope that one day he will not look at me with anger in his eyes and venom on his tongue and that he will realize that the reason I made this happen was simply because I loved him too much to let him continue this pattern of self-destruction.
My heart breaks and is simultaneously hopeful every single day but today was definitely more heartbreak. And after he was gone I went into his room and took down the curtains. I removed the last few things from the room and bathroom and, as I walked into the hallway while folding his shower curtain, a song came on my playlist, a song that struck such a huge emotional cord with me that I crumpled to the floor and sobbed into that shower curtain like I'd just lost everything.
"Boy" by Lee Brice
"Boy, you're gonna know it all, you'll think you're ten feet tall, and run like your bulletproof and total a car or two. Boy, you're gonna hate this town, wish you could burn it down, that fire in your eyes is twenty counties wide...Boy, you're gonna be so stubborn, yeah, you get that from your mother. I can already see it now, you're not built for backing down."
Even now I can't even describe the pain that I felt and, if you know what I'm talking about, then, listen to me, dear one...I am so sorry. I know your heart is shattered and it may take a long time to pick up the pieces but you can. And you will. And you are an example of strength and grace for us all.
This is a season in life and I understand that but it's just such a really hard season. I truly hope that he and I will mend what has been damaged whenever he's ready. Until then...it's just hope.
Tonight I got in the car and drove...for hours. I gave one of the more gut-wrenching car concerts of my life until I just couldn't anymore. Then I drove home and climbed into bed (where I am now) knowing that sleep will not come for several hours still and I'm probably not done crying yet.
The question is do I help it along by watching a little 2005 "Pride & Prejudice" and just allow myself to completely breakdown? How much do I want my face to resemble a swollen punching bag tomorrow as I host 3-4 Zoom meetings? Will it even help?
I think it's important to understand that my personal life, my life with my own children, used to be the only focus that I had. They were the reasons I started to blog: funny stories and anecdotes about parenting as a single mom to two boys who are pretty dang hilarious and witty, and just to keep it as real as possible. As they got older, they wanted out of the "limelight" of my life. They asked me not to post about them on social media and I respect that, so I did. I was so busy with life and school and trying to be a perfect person juggling entirely too many things...that I let my "outlet" fall by the wayside. Picking it back up again, albeit during a pandemic, has often soothed my soul on nights where nothing else has worked.
Because of their requests, my (venting) focus has changed. While they would like to remain anonymous I also have 170-something other darlings who will remain anonymous, too...but it's way easier to describe the frustrations and hilarity without revealing identities.
So, today, when one precious one sent me a message basically saying, "When is our exam and also how do we do it?" after I've literally made posts at least once a week (usually more), not to mention MAILED them materials with the information inside, done multiple Zoom meetings to explain, and posted resource after resource...I struggled to respond in a way that was productive. I suggested they check their email for emails from the College Board.
And then I did a crazy thing. I TURNED OFF MY PHONE.
Yes. I did. And do you know what? I didn't die. I didn't miss anything important. It all waited for me.
Crazy, right?
Aubs
Monday, May 4, 2020
Friday, May 1, 2020
Justin Timberlake Day
You already know...this is the day where Justin Timberlake blows up the internet because it's May 1.
As someone who was a teenager when N*Sync was a thing and, even then, I was like, "What the hell is he singing about May for?" It was me. He was singing about me. Well, not ME...but himself. You know?
There was a department meeting today, which was really more of a check-in, which really means that we all wind up "picking" at the same co-worker because...well, if I were to explain it we'd sound like serious assholes but really, it's not like that.
One of our co-workers asks a lot of questions. A lot of the time they're perfectly good questions. He also takes things incredibly literally so today someone asked him for a house tour. I'm dying laughing as I think about how he was all "Oh, okay..." and looking for ways to be accommodating while everyone laughed. Then co-worker came back onto the screen wearing a seriously bedazzled sombrero and we laughed even harder. And even harder still when we heard about how some of the football coaches got lost WITHIN an apartment complex and couldn't find their truck. Being stuck at home clearly lowers the threshold of comedy.
After the meeting and flopping on the couch for a while I decided I needed to get out for a while so I went for a drive. I drove over to my new apartment then subconsciously drove like I was driving to school while I talked to my mom. I called my dad on the way home and then walked through my condo and out the back door to the track behind my house. As I circled the track, talking to my dad, it just felt so peaceful. Windy...but peaceful. Do I have other things to do? Yes. I have 34 more notes to write to add to envelopes of materials before I stamp them and send them to the last of my AP kids. I have a house to finish packing before I get my keys next week. But instead I just wanted to be outside...so I did that.
While I was out there I firmed up a social distancing coffee date with my work bestie (I CANNOT WAIT) and fielded another request for a tour tomorrow. My landlord has the condo available for sale or for rent so realtors show it for sales and I've been doing FaceTime tours and stuff for my landlord because I am entirely too nice. He offered me $100 of my last month's rent for my trouble but let me just tell you...it's been a whole lot more trouble than that. It's annoying and so much of an inconvenience.
There's a student I usually hear from daily and I haven't heard from her in about a week, to the point where I was genuinely concerned...so I started tracking her down. She didn't answer. Her brother didn't answer. So I started reaching out to friends. They said she posted on Instagram so I knew she was okay but then I get a message: "My sister took my phone because I've been procrastinating...I'm sorry I worried you...I love you, dubs."
Part of me is baffled by how baffled they are that someone who doesn't have to care actually cares. It's such a different mindset for me and I often forget that it's not what they're used to and sometimes they just need a reminder.
Luckily, I'm annoying like that. 😉
Aubs
As someone who was a teenager when N*Sync was a thing and, even then, I was like, "What the hell is he singing about May for?" It was me. He was singing about me. Well, not ME...but himself. You know?
There was a department meeting today, which was really more of a check-in, which really means that we all wind up "picking" at the same co-worker because...well, if I were to explain it we'd sound like serious assholes but really, it's not like that.
One of our co-workers asks a lot of questions. A lot of the time they're perfectly good questions. He also takes things incredibly literally so today someone asked him for a house tour. I'm dying laughing as I think about how he was all "Oh, okay..." and looking for ways to be accommodating while everyone laughed. Then co-worker came back onto the screen wearing a seriously bedazzled sombrero and we laughed even harder. And even harder still when we heard about how some of the football coaches got lost WITHIN an apartment complex and couldn't find their truck. Being stuck at home clearly lowers the threshold of comedy.
After the meeting and flopping on the couch for a while I decided I needed to get out for a while so I went for a drive. I drove over to my new apartment then subconsciously drove like I was driving to school while I talked to my mom. I called my dad on the way home and then walked through my condo and out the back door to the track behind my house. As I circled the track, talking to my dad, it just felt so peaceful. Windy...but peaceful. Do I have other things to do? Yes. I have 34 more notes to write to add to envelopes of materials before I stamp them and send them to the last of my AP kids. I have a house to finish packing before I get my keys next week. But instead I just wanted to be outside...so I did that.
While I was out there I firmed up a social distancing coffee date with my work bestie (I CANNOT WAIT) and fielded another request for a tour tomorrow. My landlord has the condo available for sale or for rent so realtors show it for sales and I've been doing FaceTime tours and stuff for my landlord because I am entirely too nice. He offered me $100 of my last month's rent for my trouble but let me just tell you...it's been a whole lot more trouble than that. It's annoying and so much of an inconvenience.
There's a student I usually hear from daily and I haven't heard from her in about a week, to the point where I was genuinely concerned...so I started tracking her down. She didn't answer. Her brother didn't answer. So I started reaching out to friends. They said she posted on Instagram so I knew she was okay but then I get a message: "My sister took my phone because I've been procrastinating...I'm sorry I worried you...I love you, dubs."
Part of me is baffled by how baffled they are that someone who doesn't have to care actually cares. It's such a different mindset for me and I often forget that it's not what they're used to and sometimes they just need a reminder.
Luckily, I'm annoying like that. 😉
Aubs
Thursday, April 30, 2020
The Great Couch Swap
I swear...sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) my life is just ridiculous. I couldn't make it up if I tried. So let me set the scene for you if I can even do it justice.
3:00: I've finished my AP Zoom for the afternoon and I'm spending some time outside, soaking up a few rays as I try to convince myself to grade a few more DBQs. My phone buzzes and it's a number I don't recognize. They'd like to Facetime. Decline. Then a text message pops up requesting a Facetime tour of the condo. It's 3:37. I suggest 4:00 so I have time to run inside and make sure there's no underwear on the floor.
4:00: Well, she's prompt, that's for sure. I go outside and start from the parking lot. I take her through the house, show her the school behind the condo, fill her in on the differences between CHS and New Tech and she's super interested and very nice. Cool. We talk for about 30 minutes while I show her around, virtually, and answer her questions.
5:00: I text a friend who wants to come try out my couch (which is too big for the apartment I'm moving into next week). We've been trying to coordinate a time for a couple of days. She swears today will be the day.
6:00: I decide I need Starbucks. I drive to the location that was open only to find that it's not open anymore. It's too late to turn back now so I mobile order to the next closest one that's open...which is close to where I teach. I decide an Iced Almond Milk Honey Latte sounds amazing. I join the line of cars wrapped around the building and wait to get my drink. While I wait I look at the description and see it has 4 SHOTS OF ESPRESSO. I go for it anyway; I've already ordered.
6:37: I get my drink. IT. IS. AMAZING. And I say that BEFORE the caffeine has started buzzing through my veins. It's pretty sweet; when I get it again I'll half the honey. My tastebuds are blissed out.
6:45: I remember I need contacts solution and I'm still on the hunt for my skinny cans of Diet Coke that apparently no longer exist so I stop at Walmart because it's right there. (Side note: If anyone knows where I can find any of the tall, skinny cans of Diet Coke - feisty cherry, ginger lime, strawberry guava, blueberry acai, blood orange, twisted mango...any of them, let me know. Seriously. Or buy them!) There is no Diet Coke. I'm am still heartbroken over this.
7:05: I text my friend and basically say, "I swear you better not forget." She responds with "I swear I'm coming." She tries to go to my old house since I've only lived here for 2 years. She pulls up and I greet her with "Do you know anyone who wants to buy/rent this place?" She says, "My sister is moving back here. Let me call her."
7:10: Sister shows up. She walks in and is super excited. I show her around. She loves it. Friend loves the couch. We all load up in our own cars to go back to her house to see if there will be a couch swap.
7:12: It is confirmed that there is a couch swap that is happening. Young adult son and friend (hers, not mine) are voluntold they will be doing a couch swap. Friend's sister tells her husband to come look at the condo.
7:15: Another tour of the condo. He is also a fan.
During this time I've also been texting my landlord and he is thrilled that there's another contender. I feel like I should be getting a commission.
By the time the great couch swap occurs it's after 9:00 but it was a super productive day and it may as well have been 4:30 in the afternoon because I chugged 4 shots of espresso in less than 10 minutes.
But wait! There's more. I get a text message from my friend later on saying "________(name deleted for privacy) is crushing on you!" to which I reply, "Bless. Kindly tell the child (22) that I'm almost 39." and she says, "He just told us and we were all 'What?! You only saw her for two seconds!'" to which he replied, "That's all it took."
Y'all. I'm dying. I am dead. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Aubs
3:00: I've finished my AP Zoom for the afternoon and I'm spending some time outside, soaking up a few rays as I try to convince myself to grade a few more DBQs. My phone buzzes and it's a number I don't recognize. They'd like to Facetime. Decline. Then a text message pops up requesting a Facetime tour of the condo. It's 3:37. I suggest 4:00 so I have time to run inside and make sure there's no underwear on the floor.
4:00: Well, she's prompt, that's for sure. I go outside and start from the parking lot. I take her through the house, show her the school behind the condo, fill her in on the differences between CHS and New Tech and she's super interested and very nice. Cool. We talk for about 30 minutes while I show her around, virtually, and answer her questions.
5:00: I text a friend who wants to come try out my couch (which is too big for the apartment I'm moving into next week). We've been trying to coordinate a time for a couple of days. She swears today will be the day.
6:00: I decide I need Starbucks. I drive to the location that was open only to find that it's not open anymore. It's too late to turn back now so I mobile order to the next closest one that's open...which is close to where I teach. I decide an Iced Almond Milk Honey Latte sounds amazing. I join the line of cars wrapped around the building and wait to get my drink. While I wait I look at the description and see it has 4 SHOTS OF ESPRESSO. I go for it anyway; I've already ordered.
6:37: I get my drink. IT. IS. AMAZING. And I say that BEFORE the caffeine has started buzzing through my veins. It's pretty sweet; when I get it again I'll half the honey. My tastebuds are blissed out.
6:45: I remember I need contacts solution and I'm still on the hunt for my skinny cans of Diet Coke that apparently no longer exist so I stop at Walmart because it's right there. (Side note: If anyone knows where I can find any of the tall, skinny cans of Diet Coke - feisty cherry, ginger lime, strawberry guava, blueberry acai, blood orange, twisted mango...any of them, let me know. Seriously. Or buy them!) There is no Diet Coke. I'm am still heartbroken over this.
7:05: I text my friend and basically say, "I swear you better not forget." She responds with "I swear I'm coming." She tries to go to my old house since I've only lived here for 2 years. She pulls up and I greet her with "Do you know anyone who wants to buy/rent this place?" She says, "My sister is moving back here. Let me call her."
7:10: Sister shows up. She walks in and is super excited. I show her around. She loves it. Friend loves the couch. We all load up in our own cars to go back to her house to see if there will be a couch swap.
7:12: It is confirmed that there is a couch swap that is happening. Young adult son and friend (hers, not mine) are voluntold they will be doing a couch swap. Friend's sister tells her husband to come look at the condo.
7:15: Another tour of the condo. He is also a fan.
During this time I've also been texting my landlord and he is thrilled that there's another contender. I feel like I should be getting a commission.
By the time the great couch swap occurs it's after 9:00 but it was a super productive day and it may as well have been 4:30 in the afternoon because I chugged 4 shots of espresso in less than 10 minutes.
But wait! There's more. I get a text message from my friend later on saying "________(name deleted for privacy) is crushing on you!" to which I reply, "Bless. Kindly tell the child (22) that I'm almost 39." and she says, "He just told us and we were all 'What?! You only saw her for two seconds!'" to which he replied, "That's all it took."
Y'all. I'm dying. I am dead. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Aubs
Wednesday, April 29, 2020
You know what I hate? Packing.
This is not someone anyone looks forward to, I don't think. If you do then I boldly declare there is something wrong with you. By the time I get to the end I either start throwing stuff in boxes without caring whether or not I actually want/need it, threaten to burn it all down, or toss it all in a donate pile to sit in the back of my car for a month. The dumpster is also a solid choice.
I've been in a stalemate with my packing. It feels like I keep packing boxes but the pile of stuff doesn't get any smaller. It's' cool, it's fine...but it's going to be (next) Thursday before I know it and I'm going to be all, "Ummmmmm...yes?" when the movers come a couple of days later and say, "Everything goes?" I'm glad I'm super decisive in all the other aspects of my life.
Although I've been looking for tons of excuses to not pack there are two things I've been avoiding even more: grading DBQs and writing notes to my AP kids for their exam in a couple of weeks. Honestly, I like doing the last thing but it can be tedious. I had an assembly line going for a while when I was gung-ho on getting it done and wrote 2/3 of my letters in a couple of days. Now I have roughly 30 to go and, while I know I'll get them done before the end of the weekend, it seems kind of overwhelming right now. Then again, it's better than having 80 left so I'll take this victory.
Side note: Am I the only one who kisses envelopes before putting them in the mailbox? I think it's supposed to send them with love or something but I do it all the time. The bills I pay the old-fashioned way? Sent with love. Letters to friends and family? Sent with love. Birthday cards? Love. Sympathy cards? Love. Filling up mailer envelopes with all the junk mail I get and mailing them back? All. The. Love.
Right now the easiest way for me to avoid doing things I should be doing is Starz. I've become obsessed with "The White Queen," and I'm super sad I'm on the last episode right now but it segues right into "The White Princess" and then "The Spanish Princess" which I've already seen but will totally watch again so I can watch them all in order. Speaking of period drama...today a kid was telling me that Monster and Rockstar stopped working for them so they moved on to Bang and Reign and I was all, "The show on CW?" and they replied, "Worst show CW has ever made." First of all, I was surprised they knew what I was talking about. Second of all, WHAT?! I'll admit it was cheesy and ridiculous but it's for teenagers. It's supposed to be filled with angst and misunderstandings and hyperactive egos.
Every once in a while it makes me wish for a someone but those moments are fleeting and I remember that being happy as a solo entity is what it's all about. I do enough caring for...well, pretty much everyone as it is. Having a significant other would mean time is being taken away from someone and, if I were a betting (wo)man, I'd say the person it would take the most away from would be me because I would agonize over whether or not everyone I cared about was being loved and valued as best as I could.
That's the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night: if others can feel and fully understand the love I have for, or try to show, them. It doesn't have to be returned; love isn't about equity. It does make me think of the King George himself..."it's only love if you're loved in return..." but I respectfully disagree, George. Sometimes you have to love someone who can't or won't love themselves.
And that's a LOT of people in my life these days.
Aubs
I've been in a stalemate with my packing. It feels like I keep packing boxes but the pile of stuff doesn't get any smaller. It's' cool, it's fine...but it's going to be (next) Thursday before I know it and I'm going to be all, "Ummmmmm...yes?" when the movers come a couple of days later and say, "Everything goes?" I'm glad I'm super decisive in all the other aspects of my life.
Although I've been looking for tons of excuses to not pack there are two things I've been avoiding even more: grading DBQs and writing notes to my AP kids for their exam in a couple of weeks. Honestly, I like doing the last thing but it can be tedious. I had an assembly line going for a while when I was gung-ho on getting it done and wrote 2/3 of my letters in a couple of days. Now I have roughly 30 to go and, while I know I'll get them done before the end of the weekend, it seems kind of overwhelming right now. Then again, it's better than having 80 left so I'll take this victory.
Side note: Am I the only one who kisses envelopes before putting them in the mailbox? I think it's supposed to send them with love or something but I do it all the time. The bills I pay the old-fashioned way? Sent with love. Letters to friends and family? Sent with love. Birthday cards? Love. Sympathy cards? Love. Filling up mailer envelopes with all the junk mail I get and mailing them back? All. The. Love.
Right now the easiest way for me to avoid doing things I should be doing is Starz. I've become obsessed with "The White Queen," and I'm super sad I'm on the last episode right now but it segues right into "The White Princess" and then "The Spanish Princess" which I've already seen but will totally watch again so I can watch them all in order. Speaking of period drama...today a kid was telling me that Monster and Rockstar stopped working for them so they moved on to Bang and Reign and I was all, "The show on CW?" and they replied, "Worst show CW has ever made." First of all, I was surprised they knew what I was talking about. Second of all, WHAT?! I'll admit it was cheesy and ridiculous but it's for teenagers. It's supposed to be filled with angst and misunderstandings and hyperactive egos.
Every once in a while it makes me wish for a someone but those moments are fleeting and I remember that being happy as a solo entity is what it's all about. I do enough caring for...well, pretty much everyone as it is. Having a significant other would mean time is being taken away from someone and, if I were a betting (wo)man, I'd say the person it would take the most away from would be me because I would agonize over whether or not everyone I cared about was being loved and valued as best as I could.
That's the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night: if others can feel and fully understand the love I have for, or try to show, them. It doesn't have to be returned; love isn't about equity. It does make me think of the King George himself..."it's only love if you're loved in return..." but I respectfully disagree, George. Sometimes you have to love someone who can't or won't love themselves.
And that's a LOT of people in my life these days.
Aubs
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Function of dubs
Because I spend an insane amount of time on the internet these days I find all sorts of things I never knew I needed...you know, until now.
I've already decided my next color/fragrance combo will be pink/cherry blossom. It's set up for new shampoo to come every three months and I can adjust as needed. I washed my hair with it last night and let it air dry. My hair feels super soft/smooth and the fragrance is not so much that it's overwhelming. When I woke up this morning my hair was not the freaking train wreck that it normally is and that was also impressive.
But, for real, I do need to get some new pots and pans so if you've got a "go-to" that you love send me a link.
Anyway, I've been seeing custom shampoo adds for the longest time (just started singing Billy Joel...keeping it real) and the thing that I love about the apple cider vinegar shampoo that I use is that it doesn't make my hair look/feel greasy and I can go at least two days between washes. What I don't love about it is how it makes my hair feel when I'm rinsing, like it's slimy and not clean. Regular shampoos dry out my hair and since it's been easily 6 months since I've had a haircut (maybe longer) my hair doesn't need any help in the dry/damaged department.
So I ordered some shampoo from a company called Function of Beauty. I actually researched this company as well as another company, Prose, but ultimately decided that this was the better deal. I took a hair quiz and chose the things that were most important to me (shine, heat protection, etc.) and then I got to choose my fragrance/fragrance level (Options were limited but I went with some type of peach and medium fragrance level) and then I got to pick my color. I picked purple but it was hard to choose. You know you're scraping the bottom of the "life" barrel when you get excited to pick your shampoo/conditioner color.
I've already decided my next color/fragrance combo will be pink/cherry blossom. It's set up for new shampoo to come every three months and I can adjust as needed. I washed my hair with it last night and let it air dry. My hair feels super soft/smooth and the fragrance is not so much that it's overwhelming. When I woke up this morning my hair was not the freaking train wreck that it normally is and that was also impressive.
I did a Zoom with some students to discuss the essay that I assigned them. We went over the entire document and, no lie, I kept turning my head so I could smell my hair. They're used to me being weird by now. It's fine. Anyway, now I'm working on reading their DBQs in an attempt to give them some feedback before we go into the real thing in a few weeks. It's not pretty.
I've also got to get my butt in gear and finish packing but I really don't want to. What I WANT to do is...I don't even know. Maybe I'll listen to some Arctic Monkeys while I figure it out.
Aubs
Monday, April 27, 2020
It's Monday
Pretty much the only reason I even know it's Monday is because my administrator sends a "Monday Morning Message" going over the things we need to be looking out for in the coming week. Maybe it's a training or a meeting or just something from a book she read. I have come to rely on those messages to confirm that it is, in fact, the beginning of a new week.
Either that or I use the Snapchat filters. It's honestly 50/50.
Yesterday I had a (much needed) lazy day. I woke up at 8:00 and then slept fitfully until about 12:30 because. Church bells. I live near a Catholic church and I have never noticed how much the bells ring on the weekends. It never bothered me until I forgot what the difference between night and day was, not to mention the differences between asleep and awake. I basically stayed in bed all day and watched "The Mandalorian." I'm still not entirely sure what the point was but it was pretty good (yes, I'm a nerd...it's part of my charm) and baby Yoda was adorable.
I also got clearance for the classes I want to take over the summer for my 2nd masters degree! I FINALLY made time to call my advisor, the dean of the program I got into for the summer semester, and he really did a great job explaining what my options were and also helping me to choose the correct track for me. I'm doing a non-thesis master's because...duh...but this allows me a lot more flexibility since my end game is teaching at the college level. I was torn between two "tracks" because I felt both had such a huge draw for me as both a U.S. and World history teacher. Should I go with "Exchanges and Encounters" that allows me to kind of explore how and why people, things, and cultures ended up where they are? Or should I choose "War and Violence" that allows me to explore how there are some civilizations I've never even heard of because they were decimated in one battle by one of the powerhouses of ancient history?
It was a seriously tough choice. I polled pretty much EVERYONE. My advisor explained, though, that the War & Violence is the most popular (duh...no, really, he said "duh") but that it might be the best choice for me simply because I was teaching both content areas and these courses were taught by a solid mix of U.S. and World professors. SOLD, Dr. Jordan!
After that, I spent a little bit of time with my kid, who came over to pick up a package and work on his truck a little bit, and then I spent a LONG time on a Zoom call helping a kid with an essay prompt. During that zoom call I was introduced to the Arctic Monkeys and I liked them a lot. The kid also asked me if I'd ever heard of Coldplay. Bless. What am I? 80?
Nevermind. Don't answer that.
Aubs
Either that or I use the Snapchat filters. It's honestly 50/50.
Yesterday I had a (much needed) lazy day. I woke up at 8:00 and then slept fitfully until about 12:30 because. Church bells. I live near a Catholic church and I have never noticed how much the bells ring on the weekends. It never bothered me until I forgot what the difference between night and day was, not to mention the differences between asleep and awake. I basically stayed in bed all day and watched "The Mandalorian." I'm still not entirely sure what the point was but it was pretty good (yes, I'm a nerd...it's part of my charm) and baby Yoda was adorable.
I also got clearance for the classes I want to take over the summer for my 2nd masters degree! I FINALLY made time to call my advisor, the dean of the program I got into for the summer semester, and he really did a great job explaining what my options were and also helping me to choose the correct track for me. I'm doing a non-thesis master's because...duh...but this allows me a lot more flexibility since my end game is teaching at the college level. I was torn between two "tracks" because I felt both had such a huge draw for me as both a U.S. and World history teacher. Should I go with "Exchanges and Encounters" that allows me to kind of explore how and why people, things, and cultures ended up where they are? Or should I choose "War and Violence" that allows me to explore how there are some civilizations I've never even heard of because they were decimated in one battle by one of the powerhouses of ancient history?
It was a seriously tough choice. I polled pretty much EVERYONE. My advisor explained, though, that the War & Violence is the most popular (duh...no, really, he said "duh") but that it might be the best choice for me simply because I was teaching both content areas and these courses were taught by a solid mix of U.S. and World professors. SOLD, Dr. Jordan!
After that, I spent a little bit of time with my kid, who came over to pick up a package and work on his truck a little bit, and then I spent a LONG time on a Zoom call helping a kid with an essay prompt. During that zoom call I was introduced to the Arctic Monkeys and I liked them a lot. The kid also asked me if I'd ever heard of Coldplay. Bless. What am I? 80?
Nevermind. Don't answer that.
Aubs
Saturday, April 25, 2020
Treasure Hunt (this is a deceptive title)
Toady I was on a treasure hunt...for toilet paper. My mom mentioned that she was running low and I am also FINALLY getting low from buying mid-March (the one plus to being the only person in my household at the moment) so I made that my mission today. I figured, if I went out early-ish, then I might find some somewhere but knew that I would have to go to at least two stores because every store has a "1 package per person/transaction" limit. That's cool...I like to drive aimlessly and it was nice to be out of my condo instead of staring at a screen. I liked it so much I decided that I was out on my afternoon Zoom meeting. One of my co-workers emailed about the meeting (I usually run them on T/Th/F) and I said I was out because I was on toilet paper duty. This co-worker felt the need to announce that to everyone who was supposed to be in our meeting today so that annoyed the ever-loving shit out of me.
Happy Friday!
I managed to find some at the first store I went to (totally didn't see that one coming) but then I ran a couple of side errands and when I went to the other local chain there was nothing in that aisle. This is not uncommon.
This may seem like I'm channeling a particularly curmudgeon-y old man from a Disney-Pixar collaboration but honestly...what the hell is up with people hoarding toilet paper? What's crazy to me is...well, wait for it.
So I go further south and check a couple more stores...no luck. But I'm pretty close to my campus by this point and I know there's a Kroger not far so I go check it out and there is a TON. It's interesting to me because households in that area are usually much larger than those in the town where I live, and yet, there was plenty in stock. If I'm being honest, it was much more stocked than the grocery stores in my town. And that baffles me because that seems backwards. Is it because Kroger is expensive? Is it because I caught it on a good restocking day/time? Or is it because the affluent people in my town keep buying it up so they won't ever run out, not considering that a person who actually NEEDS some has to drive 20 minutes away and visit 5 stores to acquire what she needs? I actually want to know.
I can't wait to move. There, I said it. I finally owned up to it. I became slightly disenchanted a couple of years ago and it has gone steadily downhill. This school year, by the time my current campus geared up to play against my "hometown," I was so over where I lived that I secretly hoped a miracle would occur and my school would win. I didn't share this sentiment with anyone. In fact, I continued to talk just as much trash, if not more, because otherwise they'd know something was up...but I so desperately wanted them to win. Whether they will ever realize it or not I was their secret champion that night and I continue to be on their side, cheering them on in all that they do, whether they every figure it out or they remain blissfully clueless.
My sister posted on social media that NBC Sports Network was going to air some the gymnastics portions of several of the more recent summer Olympics and those are our JAM. When we were kids we used to go to college gymnastics meets in Oklahoma when Shannon Miller was the paradigm of gymnast. I missed Atlanta and I'm super bummed. I caught the last bit of Athens and we're wrapping Beijing right now, which was also pretty great. Wasn't there a scandal about underage gymnasts that year? I don't even remember but I'm pretty sure that's accurate. Gymnastics is my favorite. I also love watching the swimming and the diving. I hold my breath for every single race and I can't help it. I tear up every single time I hear the National Anthem as an American Olympian stands on top of the podium. I can't help it. I've already seen these and I'm still a huge ball of soggy tears. I've been watching "The Last Dance" on ESPN and it reminded me how much I loved the Dream Team of men's basketball back then, too.
Things in the 90s were so much simpler and it was so much easier to be present. Technology is amazing but it gets in the way of so many potential memories because we.are.obsessed. It has been immensely helpful, especially when it comes to keeping in touch with my students, some of whom have gone MIA. They are (hopefully) starting to realize that I really do care and that I will actually check up on them...probably. If they haven't they will soon.
Meanwhile, I'm staying in touch with a few of my kids from last year. There are three that really stay in regular communication. One of them switched into my class at semester and the other two were not at all fans of me at the beginning of the year. It seems to be an ongoing trend.
I can't wait to see what happens next year.
Aubs
Happy Friday!
I managed to find some at the first store I went to (totally didn't see that one coming) but then I ran a couple of side errands and when I went to the other local chain there was nothing in that aisle. This is not uncommon.
This may seem like I'm channeling a particularly curmudgeon-y old man from a Disney-Pixar collaboration but honestly...what the hell is up with people hoarding toilet paper? What's crazy to me is...well, wait for it.
So I go further south and check a couple more stores...no luck. But I'm pretty close to my campus by this point and I know there's a Kroger not far so I go check it out and there is a TON. It's interesting to me because households in that area are usually much larger than those in the town where I live, and yet, there was plenty in stock. If I'm being honest, it was much more stocked than the grocery stores in my town. And that baffles me because that seems backwards. Is it because Kroger is expensive? Is it because I caught it on a good restocking day/time? Or is it because the affluent people in my town keep buying it up so they won't ever run out, not considering that a person who actually NEEDS some has to drive 20 minutes away and visit 5 stores to acquire what she needs? I actually want to know.
I can't wait to move. There, I said it. I finally owned up to it. I became slightly disenchanted a couple of years ago and it has gone steadily downhill. This school year, by the time my current campus geared up to play against my "hometown," I was so over where I lived that I secretly hoped a miracle would occur and my school would win. I didn't share this sentiment with anyone. In fact, I continued to talk just as much trash, if not more, because otherwise they'd know something was up...but I so desperately wanted them to win. Whether they will ever realize it or not I was their secret champion that night and I continue to be on their side, cheering them on in all that they do, whether they every figure it out or they remain blissfully clueless.
My sister posted on social media that NBC Sports Network was going to air some the gymnastics portions of several of the more recent summer Olympics and those are our JAM. When we were kids we used to go to college gymnastics meets in Oklahoma when Shannon Miller was the paradigm of gymnast. I missed Atlanta and I'm super bummed. I caught the last bit of Athens and we're wrapping Beijing right now, which was also pretty great. Wasn't there a scandal about underage gymnasts that year? I don't even remember but I'm pretty sure that's accurate. Gymnastics is my favorite. I also love watching the swimming and the diving. I hold my breath for every single race and I can't help it. I tear up every single time I hear the National Anthem as an American Olympian stands on top of the podium. I can't help it. I've already seen these and I'm still a huge ball of soggy tears. I've been watching "The Last Dance" on ESPN and it reminded me how much I loved the Dream Team of men's basketball back then, too.
Things in the 90s were so much simpler and it was so much easier to be present. Technology is amazing but it gets in the way of so many potential memories because we.are.obsessed. It has been immensely helpful, especially when it comes to keeping in touch with my students, some of whom have gone MIA. They are (hopefully) starting to realize that I really do care and that I will actually check up on them...probably. If they haven't they will soon.
Meanwhile, I'm staying in touch with a few of my kids from last year. There are three that really stay in regular communication. One of them switched into my class at semester and the other two were not at all fans of me at the beginning of the year. It seems to be an ongoing trend.
I can't wait to see what happens next year.
Aubs
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