This post will be not be pleasant. And I must explain "Lemony Snickett" as I've begun using that phrase when things aren't going the way they should. This phrase is interchangeable with "PLOT TWIST!" This weekend has been the epitome of a series of unfortunate events, aka a "Lemony Snickett." Okay, then.
My boys have been having some serious issues lately. They fight and invade each others' space, like brothers are known to do, but they take it to an entirely different level. One of them (B) instigates scenarios way more than the other, but N has a temper that flips on at the most inopportune moments, and that becomes a problem...BUT, more about that later.
This weekend, Valentine's Day Weekend, I had it on the calendar to go to Houston to visit my dad. We saw him at Christmas time, but we all had the flu, so it wasn't the joyous occasion that it should have been. On Thursday afternoon, I got a phone call from the high school where I sometimes substitute, to see if there was any chance I could fill in for a teacher on Friday morning. I agreed to teach English, so I dropped both boys off at their respective schools early, promised my friend a Dr. Pepper upon my return, and took off. When I got there, I found out that I was filling in for TWO teachers that morning. Loving a challenge, I went to each classroom and met the teachers I was replacing. For whatever reason, the district scheduled a half-day of inservice on Friday the 13th. What were they thinking?! Anyway, I alternated between AP Environmental Science (where they were working on a project) and 9th grade PreAP English (where they were also supposed to be working on a project). Every. Other. Class. Period.
By my "quittin' time," I was ready for a nap. Instead, I hit Chick Fil-A for a free iced coffee (February has become my favorite month...free coffee every single day!), then Sonic for Dr. Pepper (as promised), and had just enough time to inhale a salad before I ran through the front door of B's elementary school for his Valentine's Day party. It was chaotic and fun: the kids played Valentine's Day JINGO, then decorated huge heart-shaped cookies with frosting and sprinkles. B drowned his, then promptly threw it away. Other kids used frosting and Chex Mix...something I thought was pretty bizarre, but also inventive! We wrapped up the party about 20 minutes before the bell rang, so B and I headed out. In the office, B revealed that he had YET ANOTHER altercation with the same student, and the other student had been put into ISS as a result. Pissed, I called the principal and left a voicemail. I'm pretty sure the venom in my voice was tangible. I also sent a strongly worded email. The result was a phone call from the principal and vice principal. On speaker phone. They apologized profusely, but said the day was just so crazy they dropped the ball. Parties didn't start until the afternoon, so I fail to see how an even that occurred in the morning was not relayed to the parent of the assaulted child...especially since there has been at least one altercation a week since school resumed in January.
I'm still fuming. I did NOT let it go. Sorry.
We picked N up next door a few minutes later and we were off...after taking 2 years at the gas station and 8 years at Sonic (again) for a road trip snack. The trip TO Houston was uneventful and pleasant. I had high hopes.
I should've known better.
Saturday morning, we got up early to take my car to the dealership for new brakes. I figured it would be easier to do with my dad (in case the service department tried to eff with me since I'm a girl). After we dropped my car off, the original plan was go-karts, however the ball was dropped on research, and we almost to our destination when I realized neither child met age requirements, and B was not quite there for height requirements either. In a fun little plot twist, we ended up playing miniature golf instead. My dad, N and I were totally on-board. B claimed to be up for it, but it became very clear that he was not having a good time. He didn't care that he'd only played one time before...he was convinced he should have the same skill level as N or my dad. The first few holes were okay, but when it went downhill, it went fast.
I was yet another plot twist. The boys have never played with me before, and they didn't realize that I used to play a lot when I was a kid and lived in Oklahoma...mostly because there was nothing else to do. N constantly claimed I was cheating because I would use the walls as bumpers to ricochet my ball closer to the hole.
And, y'all? It worked. I ended up 4 strokes behind my dad, the golf guru. Three out of four of us had a blast. B started sulking and crying and throwing himself one hell of a pity party. It sucked the fun out of anything we did. We grabbed lunch where he ordered chicken, then changed his mind to turkey after he'd already placed his order. I told him he'd have to eat chicken and stick with his first choice.
I ruined his life. Shocking. Then we went back to my dad's to relax and wait for my car. When it was ready, we went to pick it up and B fell asleep in the car. He woke up with a fresh outlook on life...until someone wanted to watch something he didn't want to watch on television that evening.
We had a relaxing morning and headed out to Katy Mills to wander. The plan was to go do some bungee thing at the mall because B really wanted to do it. When I announced we were headed to the mall, however, B launched right back into his pity party and I lost my temper. I never got it back. We walked through the mall with B straggling behind or pushing ahead, all the while pouting and crying, claiming he was starving (2 hours after breakfast) and bored and then...the ultimate irritation: "I'm sorry I'm ruining everyone's day. I'm so stupid."
No. Do not pass go. Go directly to piss your mother off.
We skipped the bungees, went to eat lunch (at a place B didn't want to go to), then headed back to my dad's, where his attitude went even further down the tubes. I finally told him I didn't want to hear another word from him...ever. He wasn't being disobedient or disrespectful, just annoying.
When we left, I unleashed how pissed I was, telling him how I spent the entire weekend catering to him instead of enjoying my time with MY dad...and how upset I was about it. I don't think he realized just how much his actions affected everyone this weekend. I'm still not sure he knows.
He continued the pity party and I continued to turn the volume up on my iPod. I'm pretty sure you could've heard my music choices in New Jersey by the time we were entering the Dallas area. But, that's not even the worst of it, friends.
After we got home and ate dinner, things took a turn. Exhausted from sharing a bed with my sideways sleeper, thus not sleeping very well, I was ready for bed by 8:24. I got comfortable to catch up on my dvr, and that's when all hell broke loose:
B came in my room to pee. When he went back into the living room, he looked over his brother's shoulder to narc on him for looking at something he didn't think was appropriate. (For the record, it was fine, a website that had been pre-approved by me.) This was not the first time this had happened today OR this weekend, so N went straight into pissed mode. He slapped at B for tattling, and I reminded him (forcefully) that he was not to touch his brother. It should've ended there, but it didn't.
B took that opportunity to scoot over on the couch and kick N's arm. He slapped at B again, and I charged into the room (I've been trying to let them solve their issues without interference...it's not working), hollering at both of them to go to their "corners" of the couch. B immediately started to play the victim, and I nipped that in the bud super-quick. He very obviously started it. No question.
N, however, was not in place where he intended to listen to me. I sent him to his room, and he stared at me, unmoving. I said it again, and he said (really low), "What are you going to do about it?"
RED. It's the color of the day and the color I was seeing at this point. I can deal with lots of things, but blatantly defying authority? Not. Ever.
I stared him down and he finally got up and started walking away, saying extremely unkind things about his brother. I commanded him to stop and talk to me. He kept walking. I went around the corner, put my hand on his shoulder (gently) to stop him, and he spun around and swung at my arm.
My reaction was to slap him, and I regret it. But he charged at me, then destroyed his room. As I explained to him that he cannot destroy property that doesn't belong to him, he put his hand on me again and I slapped him away. Then he tore out of the front door and out into the parking lot. Meanwhile, B is crying on the couch because he's scared because N and I are so angry and he doesn't understand why.
Because the whole thing started because of B's choices. But he doesn't see it that way.
Insert insane frustration here. So, I'm sitting there, shaking, trying to regain composure and wondering if N will return home, realizing I have no idea where he went. And y'all? I've never been more afraid.
He finally came back (it was like 5-10 minutes, but seemed like forever), and refused to speak to anyone.
Meanwhile, B and I are having a "Come to Jesus Meeting" about his behavior and his desire to be an instigator. It's not working for him. It will never work for him. It will never be a successful venture for anyone...unless they have zero desire to have friends/family.
And then N and I have a conversation about how you can get mad all you want, but you never walk out. When you walk away, you have to be prepared for things to be vastly different when you return. And then it was almost 1:00 in the morning and I wondered where 8:24 went.
Because I have papers to write and things to get done and President's Day is totally messing with my flow of events. So far, I've written a response essay (1000 words) on a lecture I had to attend with a guest speaker for Black History month, and a 2000 word essay on the invention/history of the mechanical clock. I might've been grasping at straws and using well-known movies with scenes showing interior views of clocks in my conclusion. There is NOT a lot of information on that topic, in case you were wondering.
Still to go: an exam this evening and a 1500 word paper due by 11pm on Tuesday night on Malaeska (old school Western dime novel) and social symbols. Super.
The boys are (thankfully) playing together peacefully, although they are far from quiet. I could go for some quiet right now. And some snow. And a fire in the fireplace. And a grocery store that delivers tissues, bread, milk, eggs, toilet paper, and dinner that's already been prepared.
Obviously, my demands are extremely low.
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