Technology

As I commute to and from school, I come up with all of these fantastic ideas of things I want to blog about...and then I get home and it's, "I don't want meatballs for dinner!" or "Spaghetti is gross!" (even though he liked it a couple of weeks ago) or, my absolute favorite..."Mom, can you make me another grilled cheese?" but only AFTER I've put all of the stuff away, cleaned the kitchen and been working on something else for a solid 15 minutes.

A Mom's life is grand...and never boring.

On my way to class this morning, I was thinking about technology and how it really drives me crazy sometimes, you know, as I come to you live from the comfort of my own bed while typing on my laptop and checking Facebook notifications and my online classroom to see if my latest grades have been posted while catching up on "How to Get Away With Murder" episodes on my dvr.

Hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Last week, a friend and I were talking about technology.  More specifically, he was telling me that his son and his son's girlfriend never talk on the phone.  They text or use social media for communicating.  No phone calls.  And as I pondered that, I wondered a couple of things:

1. How can you have a close relationship with someone without speaking to them, allowing them to hear the inflection and tone in your voice...the playful banter, the trying to hold it together when you've had a bad day, the elation of doing something well, the sorrow of bad news weighing on your heart, etc.
2. When did I turn 82?

I appreciate someone making an effort to call to ask me to join them in an activity.  I appreciate that sometimes texting is necessary, especially if you don't know if the other person is available to talk...but if they are, by all means, pick up the dang phone.  If you're "not a phone person," that's just stupid.  You talked on the phone all the time to communicate prior to texting capabilities, so that's a totally lame excuse. 

As I venture back into the dating world (Yep, that's right...you heard it here first, folks!), I have determined what I will and will not accept, fully understanding that my criteria MIGHT not yield any results.  I'm good with that.  And I'm not making it easy.  Why should I?

Maybe it's this class I'm taking that has to do with literature of the Southwest, or maybe it's something that women are hardwired for, but I need someone to have more balls than I do.  I know.  It's horrible.  And to be clear, I don't have that particular piece of anatomy, but I've been a single parent for a LONG time, even when I technically WASN'T a single parent, and I'm hard to take.  I know I am.  I own it, and I'm apologetic for it...sometimes.  I've had to be mom and dad, bust balls and drench with love, discipline and comfort.  I've done it all, and I appreciate someone who can/will do the same, but I can't see myself with someone who's soft spoken or constantly deferring to me or trying to hard to "grow a pair" so he can be on level.  I have two children.  I don't need a third in adult form.  I need the guy who backs me up when I parent my kids (or when I'm having a difference of opinion with an ex) regardless of whether I'm right or wrong.  If I'm wrong, I'll usually admit it, but it may take me a while to see it...so be patient.  Or get over it.

I remember EVERYTHING.  It's frustrating to have to remind someone of something over and over, just like it's frustrating to be told the same story over and over.  I show that I remember things by mentioning them in conversation or planning an activity that involves a favorite thing or some tidbit that I randomly remember from a passing conversation.  I know I'm not normal in this, and I'm good with that, but show you pay attention.  People really do notice that stuff.

A woman, especially a woman who has been broken in the past, wants to feel safe and protected and (for lack of a better word) dainty in the presence of her other half.  She wants to feel like the only person in the room, like your eyes can only see her.  It sucks, but you have to try twice as hard with a woman like that because she has been burned and is super cautious when it comes to trusting, putting herself out there, or giving her heart to someone.

Don't be petty or self-righteous.  Everybody says things that are dumb, just like people often take things the wrong way.  When a semi-stranger pays you an awesome compliment, you kind of want to brag about it.  It's not because you have any kind of "thing" for the semi-stranger, but maybe it was the best compliment you've ever gotten, and you're pretty dang proud of it.  It's not a tactical weapon of jealousy.  For the love.

Chivalry is not dead, Y'all.  I mean, sometimes it seems like it is, but there are still people who practice chivalry, and although MANY of those are unavailable, I have to hold out hope that there are a few unattached men who believe in those principles, too.

I'm 90% sure I'm a good person.  I know I can be kind and caring and I'm a total giver.  I may not always find the silver lining in my own life, but I'm all about finding it elsewhere!  I say 90% simply because I know at least 10% of me is harsh and abrasive at times.  I say what's in my head, often without thinking it through.  Sometimes I forget my filter.  And I'm not one to give 2nd chances.  Been there, done that.  The last time I dated someone, I definitely tried to fit myself into a mold that I had no business being in.  I realized it, stayed me, and...at one point, I literally found myself saying, "Listen. I need you to have more testosterone because I totally feel like I'm the guy in this relationship while you're the girl who cries at the drop of a hat."

Like I said, sometimes I forget my filter.

I also clearly forgot I was talking about technology and not dating.

Short & sweet version: Be a manly man.  Be a gentleman.  Be patient.  Find ways to surprise me (it's virtually impossible).  Have balls and don't be afraid to call me on my bullshit...with caution because I might rip you a new one.

At least I'm honest.