First off, I'm not mean. I mean, my kids will tell you a different story, but I'm really not. Strict? Yes. Stern? Absolutely. No bullshit policy? You bet. Mean? Meh...it's open to interpretation.
I've been going to the same shipping place for three years. The guy sees me a few times a semester, and he's seen my boys come in with me a few times. I think he might be the only person that works there, so we make polite small talk, and he always inquires about my boys.
We went in there a few weeks ago to buy stamps, and it was one of those crazy "If you say another word, I'm going to sell you to the circus and not ever look back" kind of days. He asked the boys if they were ready to go back to school and they both responded negatively while I sighed with wistfulness at the thought of "freedom." To be fair, we didn't do much this summer, so it felt like it dragged on forever. Like, I was ready to send them back a month ago.
Anyway, fast forward to today...I went in to ship a textbook that was sent in error (the wrong edition), and said, "Hey, friend!" as I do each time I go into the store. I do this for two reasons: 1. I am the type of person who never knows a stranger and 2. I have no idea what his name is.
Let's discuss reason 1 for a moment, shall we? I hear this statement a lot when people talk about me, usually "strangers" that I randomly chat up while waiting in line at various stores. People are always entertaining, and they're less likely to judge me (and the behavior of my sometimes hellacious children) if I'm all friendy-friendy with them, so I make friends wherever I go. I have yet to see this backfire, but I'm still young.
Anyway, "Friend" asked me if the boys were back in school, and I responded with a gushing sigh of "YES!" Y'all, he burst out laughing and leaned on the counter and laughed until he had tears. It wasn't that funny...but when he could breathe (and type the return address on my package) he told me it was all in my facial expression. Awesome. He then paid me the nicest compliment a near stranger could ever give someone: "You are such a good mom. I'm sure kids can be a lot to handle, but I really like how you tell them like it is. You seem like the type of mom who doesn't play around."
THEN, I told him about how N was grounded once so I took away Xbox privileges (this is my "go to" punishment, you know). I left to run errands, and he was still asleep, so I hid the power cord to the Xbox (Shout out to my own mom & dad for using that one on my sister & me when we were younger in the days of SNES awesomeness). When I got home, he was really pissy and said accusingly, "Why did you take the cord to the Xbox?" and I replied (without batting an eye), "Why would you even care or notice? You're grounded remember?"
BAM! He was in tears again. I'm really not that funny or diabolical. I just do what I say I'm going to do. They know better than to cross me. Every once in a while, they'll get a reprieve, but it doesn't happen often.
And then I continued on with my errands and all was right with the world. Also, I bet he's counting down the days until I send my books back. We're totally on our way to being bffs.
On a more serious note, I was texting back and forth with a friend of mine earlier today about the same kind of stuff...being a good parent. It's really hard sometimes, okay, a lot of the time. It went a little something like this:
Me: N's hard to take these days...oh, the joys of turning 12.
R: Gee, thanks for the warning...
Me: C is way more mellow than N will ever be...you'll be fine. I have no idea what his malfunction is.
R: You are a great mom! You'll figure it out.
Me: Thank you, sweet friend! That is so nice to hear...it definitely does not feel that way most days.
R: Give yourself more credit. Parenting is the hardest job ever, and it doubles in all aspects when you are doing it solo. You remind me of my mom, and how amazing she was in raising five kids on her own. You are pretty amazing too, but I'm sure your Prince Charming is just around the corner, and you won't go solo for long!
Me: Hahahahahahaha, Prince Charming is totally overrated!
R: Well, what can I say, a little embellishment never hurt anyone. Haha!
Me: Haha, embellishment is the spice of life? Or is that variety?
Y'all, it floored me and brought tears to my eyes. She is such a sweet and amazing friend, and I'm so grateful that baseball brought us together 2 years ago. Not long ago, she told me the story of her mom and what kind of major stuff she went through and how she persevered and did it all for her kids. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a compliment it was to have her compare me to her mom, and to have been able to meet this amazing woman earlier this year.
I'm not sure about all the Prince Charming stuff...I've been flying solo for 4 years now, but all the other stuff? Well, that's more than enough to keep me pushing ahead, forcing my way through all the crap life throws my way.
Aubs
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