LMFAO...Why?

Y'all, I don't know why that stupid "group" popped into my head just now, but they totally did.

Thank sweet baby Jesus in heaven that their popularity was short-lived.

A couple of months ago, I joined some former co-workers in a squat challenge via an online accountability group on Facebook.  Several years ago I was the squat queen...I did different variations for a couple of years in addition to walking at least 5 miles a day.  I was in the best shape I'd ever been in, post babies.  But, as it often does, I fell off the wagon toward the end of 2013.  Why?

Carbs.  Oh, blessed carbs.  More specifically, potatoes.  I have never met a potato I didn't like.  Just as it took forever for the weight to fall off, the gain was gradual.  I finally got to a point where I wanted to do something about it, but I didn't feel like I had any time.  I'd start walking or exercising or start a challenge on my own, but I'd either manage a feeble attempt or I'd forget about it midway through.

Fast forward to this summer.  Like I said, I've done the squats thing for a while, and I knew my quads were waiting to bust out of their fat cocoon, so I jumped in.  The variation during that 31 day challenge was so awesome and so much fun that I saved the list to add when I need a little something extra.  It's easy to throw a few sets in while I'm reading something on my laptop or watching the Rangers attempt to keep a hole of first place in the AL West.  The "4's" are my favorite: cross one ankle over the top of the opposite knee and squat with one leg.  LOVE.

When that challenge was over, the next one was an ab challenge.  I did that one, too...for the most part.  There were a few exercises where I lack the sheer amount of coordination to make them count, so I went to solid standbys.  This time, it's a cardio challenge, and I'm kind of just watching.  It seems like a lot of fun, but I was so amped by my progress during those 62 days that I decided to kind of branch out and stick with my squats that make me happy.

So, for the last 25 days or so, I've been doing a squat challenge, a wall sit challenge, and a crunch challenge.  Today I had to do 220 squats, a 4:10 wall sit, and 120 crunches.  These are some of my favorites because I can feel and see the results.  And when I'm nearing the end of my seemingly endless wall sit, I start singing random songs to myself to keep me engaged and focused so I don't slide down the wall like a cartoon puddle.  You know what I mean.

Why is it that my legs always look better when they're up in the air?  Hahahahaha, that's funny.

Aaaaaand we're done here.

Aubs

I'm a total sellout.

It's true.  I have been anti-Apple for as long as it's been a thing (with the exception of my iPod shuffle...that got stolen, and my replacement iPod something...that doesn't hold a charge unless it's plugged into my car because Texas is hot and melts things).  Entertaining myself in the car is the only reason I have ever navigated iTunes, and that's simply because it's the only way I've been able to put music onto my iPod.

So, when I upgraded my phone online yesterday and ultimately wound up with an iPhone, I was sort of disgusted with myself.  I have an LG G2, and I really like it.  I like that there are no buttons to accidentally press.  I like that the front and back cameras don't suck.  I like the size of it.  I'm used to it.  You know what I'm not used to?  A freakin' iPhone.

I'm sure it will be fine.  I'm sure I will love it.  I'm sure it will be adorable and cute and yet another reason why my child hates my guts...because I have one and he doesn't.  In fact, when I told him I'd upgraded yesterday, he didn't talk to me for TWO GLORIOUS HOURS.  I call that a win.

The truth is, doing the whole "iPhone forever" thing that Sprint has does nothing to my bill.  When I hit the two year mark with my LG this month, I was able lower my bill by about $20...and to switch to the iPhone will be about $24.  So, there you go. 

I will hate learning how to use it, and my kids will laugh at me, but we have very little else as far as entertainment goes.  Lord knows the blood moon really failed to come through for us last night.  Also, I agreed to look for an iPhone 5 for my kid (he's footing the bill), so I've redeemed myself as the coolest mom again...although I bet I'd be a lot cooler if I agreed to purchase it for him.

No dice, N...not happening.

This week will be pretty hectic, with a lot of school deadlines for me, and the end of the first six weeks for the boys.  Can you believe it's been six weeks already?!  And can you believe that it's almost October?!  Oh, I can't wait...I really can't!  I need fall weather and temperatures that max out in the 70s.  Apparently, this also means I need to move.  But I won't.  Not for a few more years anyway.

If you know me at all, patience is not my virtue.  It pretty much skipped me and went straight to someone else...perhaps not in my family at all.  I have been exercising an insane amount of patience with someone I care about.  Just because I don't mind talking to someone on the phone or via text on a daily basis doesn't mean they like to...or maybe they aren't available...or something.  So when I talk to someone on Wednesday and then don't hear from them until Sunday, that's a long time.  It's not...but patience, right?  Not. My. Strong. Suit.  And then on Sunday, we exchange hellos.  And that's it. 

To text or not to text...that is the question.

But since I'm an Android/Apple sellout, I'll probably try to over-correct on this one.

Sigh.

Aubs

Football, Faucets, & Funky Moons

Saturday, B had a flag football game.  Since I was unable to attend the game last week, I was super excited to go to his game this weekend.  After a few hours of  baseball practice, N and I both donned our Cowboys apparel and headed off to pick B up from his dad's house.  His dad and stepmom had to attend a wedding that afternoon/evening, so they were unable to be at the game.

And it's probably for the best...because the other team were terrible sports.

One of the things I want to make sure my boys know is how important it is to be a good sport...win, lose, or tie.  As long as they do their best, they work hard and improve, and they're having fun, I'm good with losing games.  N's coach said it best when he said, "I don't care if we lose every single game, if we're playing with integrity."  I couldn't agree more.  Yes, it's fun to win, but when you put winning above all else, it takes the fun out of the game.

Case in point: The Broncos.  From the very beginning, this team was out for blood...and I'm not just talking about the players.  They took their cues from the coaches and dads who were running up and down the sidelines, screeching until the cords popped out in their necks, calling boys out who weren't making the plays, and pointing out all of the flaws on our team as well.  I mean, I know every single player is clearly headed for the NFL, but for the love of Pete...they're 9.  And it's flag football.

They had one kid tackling instead of pulling off flags, and each time they would receive a 10 yard penalty, the coach would gleefully hoot, "I'll take that penalty!  Keep it up, boys!"  What does that teach their team?  Bad sportsmanship.  That's what.

I told B's stepmom about it later, and she said, "Oh man...I'm glad both of us weren't there at the same time.  It would've been ugly."  And she's right.  To a point.  I voiced my frustration to the coach, but I did so after the game.  He was trying so hard to keep his cool during the game, and I don't blame him.  HE was the best example of being a good sport on that entire field, and when the game was over, his team proved that ten times over by having a great conversation about how important it is to learn from each game they play.  It did my frustrated mom heart some good, let me tell you.

Sunday brought a half-day of sitting at home, waiting for the plumber to arrive.  On Saturday morning, I was showering before baseball practice, when the water pressure went super low and started making weird noises.  I figured that N had turned on the shower in his bathroom and the sprinklers must have kicked on...it wasn't until I turned around with a head full of conditioner that I noticed water spewing out of the faucet instead of the shower head.  Lovely.  The faucet was at an odd angle, so I contacted my landlord and he contacted a plumber.  When the man arrived this afternoon, he looked at the faucet and said, "Well...that's creative."

Like anyone should expect anything less from me.

He replaced the faucet, and I was back in business!  I celebrated with a bubble bath and music so loud it drowned out the arguing in the living room.  I think.  I locked my bedroom door and my bathroom door to give me an added buffer from the noise.  That is what you call "smart parenting."

This whole blood moon thing has gotten a whole lot of hype, but it's super cloudy.  The boys and I stood outside watching, but all we got out of it was bug bites.

Maybe it won't be cloudy in 2033.

Aubs

Just call me "Detective"

This fall, one of my classes is all about the mass hanging in Gainesville, TX in 1862.  On the first day of class, everyone drew a name out of a camouflage lunch tote (because we are a very fancy class): a victim or a player.  I had a victim first, but he was a total dud with the most common name EVER.  I requested a new person and got a much more interesting person...he's not a player, he just crushes a lot.

The professor is INSANE over research.  She considers musty basements of courthouses foreplay, and is obsessive over her "person" that she's been researching for years.  She's also a total hoot.  In an attempt to get on her good side (and to prepare for this massive 25 page paper that's due in 3 weeks), a classmate and I ventured to Gainesville this morning to visit the courthouse records.  The county clerk knew we were coming, but was not super helpful.  Eventually, we found our way to the basement and the deed records.

About 90 minutes, 32 copies and $32 later, we had all of the information in the courthouse pertaining to my player and her victim, and we were wandering around the square because...

There. Was. Pie.  And since she drove, I bought breakfast, while we stared at the Fried Pie Company's display cases of all the pie flavors.  We were sitting there talking about random things when this man in a suit and an orthopedic boot came in.  He was pacing in front of the display case, asking questions and consulting his phone while placing a huge order of individual pies.  I caught his eye and said something about "all.the.choices." and he asked what kind of pie I'd like.  I smiled and laughed and said, "Um...apricot sounds interesting!" so he asked the guy behind the counter to wrap up an apricot pie for me.  Then he asked my classmate, and she said, "Peach?"  I thanked him, and told him to have a great day, and after he left with all of his pies, the guy behind the counter said, "Do you know him?"

No.  He just gave us free pie.  It was awesome.

Later, I got an email from my professor asking how our research went.  I told her the search was fruitful and segued right into the story about the pie.  Her reply was almost instantaneous: "I've been researching in courthouses for years and NOBODY has ever bought me pie!!!!"  We're totally going to be best friends when this class is over...but only after because this paper is going to make me seriously dislike her for the next few weeks.  It's not personal, it's business.

Anyway, I have to admit, it was really fun to dig around in the basement and look through the index to find my person's name in all the records.  I had a lot of information: several purchases/sales of land, transfer of property to relatives (presumably before moving to another state), and even the marriage record from 1850.  I won't lie; I did not-so-secretly wish the courthouse would burn before I could research, but that was because I had no idea what to expect.  It was super organized, and a few of the books even had pages that had been transcribed to print instead of old-school cursive that was faded.  I still don't know how I'm going to get 25 pages, but I feel like I'm ahead of the curve just by going to the courthouse.

And scoring free pie.

For the record, it was really good!

N agrees.  I brought home a variety of little pies for the boys.

Must. Not. Eat.

Aubs

So. Many. Feels.

Today is full of birthdays of people we know and love.

N's aunt, Tiffany
N's dad's friend, Caleb
My cousin, Josh
N's grandfather, Larry
A dear friend, Jeff

Sadly, two of them are no longer with us, but this day always catches me off guard when it comes to the feelings that come out of nowhere.  N's grandfather (he and his daughter share a birthday...how cool is that?!) died a few years ago, and it's left a huge hole in N's world.  They were best buddies.  Jeff, who was a great friend to me and one of N's dad's best friends, died five years ago...something that still hurts my heart all the time.  

N doesn't like to have a lot of people there to support him when he plays baseball.  He says it gets in his head and he feels like he has to perform instead of just relax and play the game he loves.  Today, he had a full house, though.  Normally his dad, his stepmom, his little brother (3), and I attend his games.  It may not be all of us, but there's some sort of combo of me and one or both of them.  Tiffany (his aunt) flew in from Seattle today for her birthday with her 4 year old son (she's got another boy on the way!), and surprised N at his game.  For the whole game, her kiddo was cheering N on from the fence...and talking to a cricket.  It was adorable!  My mom also came to her first game of the season.  She's been so busy, and Thursday nights are rough, so I'm glad she was able to come.  On top of THAT, N's best friend and his parents came to check out a game, too!  Like I said, FULL. HOUSE.

He was nervous...I could tell.  He wanted to do well, to give them a show since they came to watch him.  And it was a good game, even though they lost by one run.  They made some mistakes, and their coach was frustrated, but I bet they won't make the same mistakes again.  Practice on Saturday morning should take care of that.  YIKES!

On the way home (a lot later than normal), he and I got into a serious discussion.  He told me he really wished I would find somebody and be in a solid and happy marriage relationship.  He said I deserve it.  He said we deserve it.  And I can't say he's wrong...but I told him that I wasn't sure that was what I wanted because the last relationship of that type went so badly that it's made me afraid.  We were both very candid, and I was sad when we got home because it meant the conversation was over.

Except it wasn't.  He sat down at the table and said, "Mom, let's talk about this.  Please." So, we did. We talked about past loves and future loves and "why didn't you just try" loves, and it ended with, "Dang it, Mom!  Why didn't you just marry _________?"  Kid.  I don't freakin' know.  Trust me...I wish I did.

Aubs

Productivity and the Pre-teen Hormones

I told a friend earlier today, "I really need to start wearing heels or wedges more often...so I don't accidentally skate across the floor at the grocery store and flash unsuspecting shoppers."  Also, this would be problematic whilst substitute teaching at any kind of school.  Not that I fell or slid or even skidded today in my super cute Steve Madden wedges.  (At least one little girl in each class told me she loved my shoes, and a couple of the boys told me they looked like they would be really hard to draw...)

I did a half-day stint as the Art teacher for B's former elementary school this morning, and it was a lot of fun to see all of the familiar faces and field all of the questions about B.  It hurts my heart that we aren't at that school anymore...simply because of the relationships he had with his peers and the teachers in that building.  I know we're in the right place, but it was bittersweet to be there today, promising the 4th graders that B would be at the same middle school in two years, and telling them he would not be back at their school next year.  When I relayed all of the messages to B after school, he was surprised by some of the names I threw out when he asked who was asking about him.

The kid had absolutely no idea just how well-liked he was...even though everyone else did.  It was a proud mama moment.  One of my favorite little girls was almost in tears this morning when she found out I was filling in for Art...because she had P.E.  And it didn't even matter what grade I had in my classroom (I had 3rd, 4th, and 5th this morning) because they ALL knew my B.  There are several Bs in that school, so if there was confusion, I busted out a picture and then they all knew. 

And who doesn't like seeing people you haven't seen for months only to have them tell you that you look amazing?!  I mean...what an ego boost.  Of course, it was "Walk It Wednesday" which means I could have worn yoga pants instead of a dress and wedges, but I had totally forgotten about that, and one of my favorites in the office FORGOT to tell me, but she's felt icky for a week so she's forgiven.

After I finished, I came home and took a 45 minute power nap, which was probably the best idea I've had in a while.  It was just long enough, and I woke up to a slew of text messages from various people that made me feel loved and important.  I managed to work my way through a fair amount of reading while waiting for B to get out of school, then some more while we sat in the allergist's office during our weekly allergy shot visit. 

It's been a pretty productive day, although I feel like there's a whole lot more I could be doing/should be doing/would be doing...except.

I. Don't. Want. To.

Tomorrow is baseball Thursday, and I'm happy/sad we have one game.  Happy because 5 hours in the allergy-laced air is killing me, and sad because it's an 8:00 game which still means a super-late night.  Especially when you're 13 and moody.  Or 34 and moody.  Either way.

Sidebar: I had one of the learners ask me a series of questions this morning that halfway horrified me and halfway entertained me...AFTER I caught him trying to sneak a peek at what might be under my dress.

Me: Dude. Not cool.
Him: You're pretty.
Me: Um. No. Inappropriate.
Him: How old are you?
Me: How old do you think I am?
Him: 25
Me: I have an 8th grader, so I'm older than that.
Him: So...do you like older or younger men?
Me: _______, that is not even remotely appropriate.  We're done here.


Good grief...preteens and their mixed-up hormones.  I always find it funny when kids try to guess my age.  It doesn't phase me when they're way off, and the answers/reasoning they provide are always good for a laugh or two.

You know what else is good for a laugh or two?  Catching a glimpse of yourself slipping on something imaginary and skidding across an aisle in the freezer section at the grocery store.

I mean...not that I would know or anything.

Aubs

Totally Taxing Tuesday

Today has been a day for the books, folks.  I typed a Facebook status earlier (it HAS to be Facebook official) that gave a brief overview of my day and left me exhausted.  Here’s a recap of the recap:

5:40 No, I don’t want to get up.

5:45 Push snooze again.

5:50 Fiiiiiiine.  So, I got up and turned on the water in the shower and stared at the grout between the tiles on the floor and contemplated life.  For 10 minutes.

6:20 Stumble out of my room half-dressed saying, “N, why aren’t you in the shower?  Your dad will be here in 20 minutes!  B, get UP!  You need to be eating breakfast right this very second so you will get big and strong.”

6:22 N stumbles blindly into the bathroom and bangs his shin on the cabinet.  I ignore the expletive.  

6:30 B finally stumbles into the kitchen and grabs a bowl, the milk, and a fork.  Clearly this is going to go well.

6:50 N’s out the door for breakfast with his dad.  B is pondering what he will do in his next life.  Know what he’s not doing?  TAKING A SHOWER.

7:00 “I’m leaving in 15 minutes!” -  Me  “No, you’re not.  You’re not wearing a shirt, your hair is messy, and I don’t have a lunch.” - Astute observations from the 9 year-old.    

7:24 Lunch is packed, shirt has been located, hair is sufficiently smoothed, and I even swiped on some lipgloss.  This is a decent morning.

7:30 B is at school, and I’m on my way to Denton…

I even had time to stop at Starbucks for a Skinny Vanilla Latte, and made it to class with tons of time to spare.  The peace should have been a clue…because once my professor got into class, she literally said, “Pop quiz, hot shots…” and passed out a quiz on the reading that nobody has been doing…the reading that I actually did yesterday.  I was proud.  I thought things were going great. Then she dropped the bombshell that my rough draft of my 25 page paper was due in a week.  Y.I.K.E.S.  In my other class on campus, we got into a delightful discussion about savagery and the early colonies in America and other fun stuff.  And then the “fun” began.

After I sat on the highway for 90 minutes trying to get home, I had enough time to dump my backpack at home and make a pulled pork taco for “lunch” before I went to pick N up from school (B went to after school care).  I took him to get a haircut…a haircut I tried to make an appointment for, but since I didn’t have a particular stylist in mind (because I don’t know any of the names!), I didn’t get one.  So we waited…and it would have been fine, except he had a hitting lesson at 4:30.  So at 4:04, Allison got him in her chair.  I explained the situation, we discussed what he wanted to do, and we were out the door 16 minutes later.  I like Allison.  I dropped N at his hitting lesson, and went to get B from after school care.  We stopped at 7-11 (Oh, thank heaven) and got bottled water…but the poor kid pulled the door of the cooler too hard and whacked himself in the side of the head.  Tears came next, and he was pretty waterworks-y for the remainder of the afternoon.  We went back to get N, took him home to start homework, grabbed a snack, and took off for football practice.  I actually got to sit at football practice and read a little of my next homework assignment, but that was the only resting point.  On any other Tuesday, I’d be dropping B at practice, taking N to his practice, then going back to get B, grabbing him some dinner and waiting for another hour for N’s practice to finish.  Tonight, several players had football games, so we were shown serious mercy.  Even still, we had to stop by B’s dad’s on the way home, and that took forever.  And then we still needed dinner, and I’m happy to say that they still managed to get into bed ALMOST on time.

It’s a “last day of summer” miracle, y’all.

It makes me tired just thinking about it, but I’d be lying if I said the chaos made me mad.  I need it to be slightly chaotic so I feel like I have a handle on all.the.things. 

Tomorrow I’m teaching music for half a day at B’s old elementary school…and then I’m working on my research project.  And Friday, a classmate and I get to go to the courthouse to look at records from the 1860s.  I’m still hopeful it burns. 

Kidding! (Mostly)

Even with all of the schoolwork and the kid stress, I’m finding time to giggle at the random smiles that pop up on my face at any given moment.  Why?  I can’t really say.  It’s almost fall. The cooler weather is so close (yet so far away), and we are solidly into football and baseball seasons.  I was able to spend time with family I see less often than I’d like, and I’ve had some great phone conversations with my dad about fantastic changes in his overall health and well-being.  I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for, boys who give me hell but still let me tuck them in at night (and ask me to cuddle with them), and a heavy dose of optimism following me around.  Oh…and someone who could someday be a special someone…when I see a new message from the "adorable idiot" my heart races, I get a cheesy grin on my face, and I remember that I still have a whole lot of life left to live.

Aubs