Blursday the fortyteenth of Maprilay

I wish I had coined that phrase. It would make this so much more interesting. I could talk about how I inspired others to come together during this time of great "What the actual hell is going on here" and created a real sense of unity.

But. I didn't. What a(nother) letdown.

Speaking of letdowns...how about April? My favorite day of the year is coming up and I'm not even excited about it anymore because there is no baseball. What is my favorite day, you ask? No, it's not my birthday or any day of real significance. It's April 15. (Note that I said it is NOT a day of significance. Celebrating taxes is not my idea of a good time.).

April 15 is Jackie Robinson day, where every player wears 42 on his jersey in honor of Jackie Robinson and the amazing contributions he made to the game of baseball as a black man who busted through the barriers into a predominantly white men's league. 42 is my favorite number (camping story...so good!) and seeing all of those men wearing baseball pants AND my favorite number on their backs?

This girl's dream would be to run around the field like that meme of the girl during the College World Series where she runs around grabbing all of the guys' butts? Or on Fever Pitch where Drew Barrymore runs across the field to Jimmy Fallon? Oh, how glorious that would be.

Sigh.

Today I got super productive and I have no idea why. Actually, I'm a liar. I know exactly why. My landlord scheduled a showing of my condo on Thursday. You know, during the time where it's most important for us to stay indoors and practice social distancing but I'm sure it's great. They probably won't lick all the doorknobs or anything but I don't know what they do in their spare time when nobody's looking. Or licking.

I started grading stuff for the new grading period because I didn't want to pack boxes. Then I called my mom and asked her to come supervise me to hold me accountable for packing up my house. She and I have been around each other the entire time but also separate. I'm her person for groceries and stuff and I thought she might want a change of scenery so she came over and while I went to buy more boxes.

Buying boxes. Sheesh, that's damn expensive. Why don't they just appear out of thin air or something? Or why can't I snap my fingers like Mary Poppins and make stuff happen? That would be so incredible. It would be so productive. I could do so many more things!

Anyway, I packed up most of the kitchen while she supervised and then we reorganized the living room boxes to create a sense of pathway/openness/someone's been living here for a month without leaving but she's trying, damnit.

I hope it was successful.

But, man, I rode that wave for as long as I could. I came upstairs with a renewed sense of purpose and ran a couple of loads of laundry while I packed my entire closet. The only things left are a few of my spirit wear t-shirts (in hopes we return...yeah, I know), and a rotation of t-shirts, Nike shorts, and yoga pants...and my Nike collection because that would require another box from downstairs and I've literally been a packing machine since 4:00. It's 11:37, OU still sucks, and I am exhausted.

BUT. The good news is I'm probably 70% packed. Now I just have to sell a few furniture items, which should be a breeze in AN EFFING PANDEMIC. I still have to take stuff off the walls and clean up the bathrooms (worst. task. ever.) and get rid of all the clutter. I'm not quite to the point where I just want to burn it all or throw it all away but it's coming.

That's my "favorite" part about moving.

Equally favorite part of my day today? Today I held a Zoom meeting to discuss my the type of question my kids will have to answer on their AP exam. I have 110 of those guys. 8 showed up. Only 1 asked questions.

What could possibly go wrong?

Send help! (And cute movers!)

Aubs

What day is it?

Y'all, I don't even know anymore. For the last several nights I've gone to bed totally restless and I couldn't figure out why until today when I was all, "BLOG!" which doesn't make a ton of sense because, like, four people read it but maybe it'll get TONS of viewers when I'm dead, like Picasso.

Yeah, I'll be the Picasso of the revived blog world. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be standing in line for that title. 

Unless you're living under a rock you know what's going on in the world these days. On my last post, March 26, we got word that we were extending our digital/distance learning through April 17. Literally 5 days later the leader of THE great state extended that, statewide, until May 4. In FIVE days the kids (and teachers) went from light at the end of the tunnel to more darkness. One kid put it best: "We're maybe allowed to go back at the beginning of May but, Dubs, it's not even APRIL yet." I know, dear one...I know.

One of the things I started doing this week, which has been a real crowd pleaser so far, is hosting movie "nights" for my AP students. The time varies but the movies are all basically geared towards the end of the unit we were in before we went on break: World War I-World War II.  Around 10 kids have shown up, digitally, for each movie so far, which is not the worst. I came about the idea on accident.

In the words of one of my dear ones...

You see, what had happened was...my bestest boyfriend was feeling pretty glum and posted a lyric to a Pink Floyd song on social media. What happened next was an outpouring of concern because "Was he suicidal?" He set up a zoom so I jumped on because that's what bestest girlfriends and boyfriends do for each other. As I asked if he was okay the veins started popping as he explained, YET AGAIN, that it was a Pink Floyd song. So now it's just fun to mess with him. Anyway, another friend and his wife jumped on and were talking about the ridiculous Netflix sensation that is the Tiger King.

Let me stop you here and tell you I haven't watched it, nor do I have any desire to watch it, so don't bother pleading your case.

Plus I'll probably be bored enough to watch it by Thursday. Thursday? Next Thursday? What day is it?

Anyway, the friend and his wife were watching the trainwreck and I said I wanted to try to share my screen so I did and it worked and THUS my "movie night" idea came to fruition. I set up a poll and was going to take the top 2-3 but I decided to watch all five instead. Here's the lineup for the week:
Monday: Midway 2019
Tuesday: Dunkirk 2017
Wednesday: Forrest Gump (Yeah, I know it doesn't really fit but when I found out how many had never seen it I felt it was a crime against all humanity!)
Thursday: Cinderella Man
Friday: The Great Escape
***By Popular Demand***
Saturday: Saving Private Ryan
Sunday: Pearl Harbor

I love that the kids are so bored that they want to hang out, again digitally, and watch movies. It gives them somewhere to be and I allow extra credit for participation in discussions following the movie. I'm also known to pause and throw out random trivia except then I get responses like "CUBA!" when we're watching Midway and then they laugh as I start/stop speaking about 47 times then just mute myself and let loose.

I am so distanced from my friends and family, even my own kids, right now because of all this craziness that it's nice to have some semblance of normalcy. I'd give pretty much anything to have the boys here right now but one is quarantining where he goes to school and, until today, the other was still working.

I really want a Harry Potter marathon but I deleted them off of my dvr to anxiously await "fresh" recordings in a week or so. I probably jumped the gun there, huh?

Saddddddd...
Aubs

Oops

I just realized that I never actually said what the "big sad" part of my evening. I was sitting on my couch when I got a text, phone call, voicemail, and email simultaneously. That is never a good sign. So I put the student on hold and read. They can clearly tell by my facial expression that it isn't good.

Well, initially they think it's great because I'm saying "Ohmygod" over and over...and then I read it aloud "The district has decided, for the safety of its students and staff to continue with distance learning through April 17." That's two weeks later than originally planned.

Like, I knew it was probably coming but it was still so heartbreaking to read it. And the looks on the face of others as I read it truly broke my heart. As much as they complain about going to school they actually look forward to it more than they thought. It goes back to my thoughts about how kids crave routine even though they consistently buck against it. I thought it was just my nerd status wanting to be back at school but it's all of us.

We want our normal back.

I do like the super-casual work attire and the fact that I can pee whenever I want but I would gladly trade it all in a heartbeat to go back to school.

Today was SAT scores release day so I had a lot of kids who were disappointed in themselves even though they had no reason to be. They made forward progress. Some improved by a handful of points and others improved by close to a hundred but they all mostly moved forward. I kept reminding them that they still have time to improve and can take it again before it "counts," but to give themselves a little grace.

I think we all need to do that right now.

I know I do.

And one of the ways I'm going to do that is by giving myself the "go ahead" to go to bed.

I don't know why this day has just been a super suckfest. It really wasn't even bad...it's just...

Blah.

Aubs

Big Sad

The post title is semi-misleading because it was actually a pretty solid day. I spent the morning contacting a bunch of my students to do a mental/physical check-in to make sure they were doing okay and to see if I could do anything to help.

Some were fine while others needed help requesting technology and internet access as we move ahead with our digital learning. I learned a lot about some of my students today.

I learned that one was not entirely truthful when they said neither of their parents spoke English. Their father, in fact, spoke English very well. The end result was that the kid and I had a 45 minute phone conversation. :)

I learned that one of my kids was celebrating a birthday and when I told them "Happy Birthday!" when they answered the phone they were super surprised because it was unexpected. I am unexpected.

I played phone tag with one and never caught up but it was funny to keep seeing missed calls back and forth.

I spoke to one mom who gave me her son's number. When I called he wouldn't answer so I texted him to say "I need to talk to you about your grade." and he replied with, "What about it?" so that was a fun time.

I had a great chat with my AP team today and we shared some pretty entertaining memes that had been made featuring one of them. While we were video chatting I texted it in our group chat...and then laughed as they checked it all inconspicuous-like.

Then I spent some time working on video settings with the kids to see how many kids at one time were TOO many and what parameters I should put into place for our first real video chat on Friday.

I also did a few individual chats because it's easier to discuss ideas and work on things when we can sit "across" from each other and talk.

All in all it was a mostly successful day but eating caffeinated chocolate at 7:30 pm was probably a poor choice.

Aubs

Back to the Grind

Jkjk. Kind of. Today we "started back" on a digitized basis. Core teachers (that's me!) had a staff meeting this morning via Zoom, which was quite the experience! I wasn't sure what to expect since I had only conducted meetings with one or two individuals, not 100.  The meeting went pretty well but the most entertaining part for me was looking at all of the thumbnails of teachers. I didn't know a lot of them but those I DID know made me laugh. One of them, my AP counterpart, was sitting in front of a window so it made him all shadowy. He looked like he was basically in the witness protection program and testifying on video. When we did our team meeting later we brought it up and had a good laugh about it.

And then later tonight a kid sent me a message asking about grades and then said, "You have to see this!" and proceeded to send me a meme of my counterpart with a caption about witness protection. I was really disturbed for a while because how did a kid get that picture to make the meme? But then it was discovered that our principal tweeted about our meetings this morning and kids follow her and she basically handed them the material they needed so then it was back to being funny again. I said I didn't even want to know what kinds of memes were floating around about me but they assured me they'd never seen one of me...yet. This is one of a zillion reasons why my number one rule is "PHONES IN THE WALL POCKETS!"

Anyway, it was really good to be "back" and in communication again. It's going to be wild and crazy, a total adventure, but being able to collaborate and resume some sense of normalcy really does help. We all agree we have ZERO idea what the future holds but we've got each other's backs, which sounds super cheesy and all but it's true. Today I got a notification that my counterpart had added me to his Google Classroom for his kids and that was huge. He's used to kind of being an island and he told me, several months ago, how great it was to actually be part of a collaborative team. Since I'm all about acts of service and gifts of time, that legitimately made my year.

I posted a discussion board post today for my kids to answer. The question: "What is something you are grateful for right now? What "fills your cup" and brings you joy in this time of craziness?" The responses are trickling in and I'm so thrilled that very few of them have to do with superficial things like electronics, Netflix, technology, and so on. Most of them are writing about how great it is to have time with their families, to see and actually interact with their siblings and parents who are often in a zillion different directions, and a few also mentioned how grateful they were that they're so informed because of my NUMEROUS posts. One kid said, "You are so into making sure we know what's going on and have all of the information. You're treating it like a real college/digital experience and it makes us treat it more seriously." Nothing could have made my day more.

Until I saw the memes...and the one about how "Nine months from now I better not see Ko'Rona Vyress, 6lbs 5oz" because that one absolutely killed me. I still haven't stopped laughing.

Aubs

Influencers

Today I started a YouTube channel (for my school kids) and, basically, within an hour I had 6 subscribers and over 100 views so I'm pretty much destined for influencer status. You're so lucky you "knew" me when. Also, why is every single thumbnail available for my video epically worse than the one before it? I spent a solid 5-10 minutes laughing at all of them before I gave up and just chose the ones that were the funniest to me. Sometimes it's the little things.

Anyway, I posted my first video and then got information from my administrator so I shared the information that was pertinent to the kids and then got SO.MANY.QUESTIONS that I made a second video. I still wound up answering a bazillion questions but it's fine. Exhausting but fine. This is such a huge time of uncertainty and I totally get it but it would be nice if they would read/watch the information before asking the same question, or some variation, literally 100 times.

At least it kept me busy today. Speaking of busy: my living room is mostly packed up. There are quasi-orderly piles everywhere and I set up a makeshift desk across from a window where I get some light. The other alternative would be to go on live video calls from a bedroom or with a direct line of sight into my messy-ass kitchen (the next room on my "to tackle" list) so washed-out in the living room it is! :)

Tomorrow we have a video conference for CORE subjects (that's me even though the majority of my kids are an elective version of the core) so that should be wildly interesting. We're supposed to start with online classes on Friday so we'll see what happens. Of my 176 approximately 71 have signed up for the digital platform I've asked them to use so we'll see. One kid sent me a message tonight that said, "You mean I actually have to do work?" so that was a fun one.

I'm weirdly excited about this digital experience. What I know is that it will not be a smooth ride but what I hope for is that it will create a unique and lasting bond with this group of kids. I am truly so incredibly grateful to have this group. They have challenged me and made me look inside myself to determine whether or not I am actually happy with or proud of the person that I am and they inspire me to make changes, to be better than what I'm settling for. I'm not sure I could ever tell them that without sobbing hysterically so we'll see if any of them ever find this blog. :)

Tomorrow begins a new normal and, while it won't be implemented overnight, I do hope I at least have confirmation that I'm going about this the right way or more explicit direction...you know, so I can just do what I plan do to do anyway.

Whatevs.

Aubs

Productive Burst

Today I woke up and decided to take a daylight drive past the apartments I didn't rule out when I got home from driving around in the dark last night. I know. I live a very exciting life. BUT! I was able to cross several of them off my list based on daylight perspective and I have 8 potential contenders.

Not that that matters anymore. My county has been given an order to shelter in place for the next couple of weeks. I hope people start to take this seriously because it really won't be successful until people start to adhere to these rules. Do I love them? No. But am I following the rules? I'm definitely doing my best. It drives me crazy being at home all the time. I have a ton to do but I don't want to do it. I will because...whatever...adulting but I don't want to.

Since it goes into effect tomorrow I ran out to grab a few things I need (like packing tape!) and foil (I want to cook salmon and a few other things this week because...adulting) and two flavors of Monster I said I wouldn't knock until I tried. I swear, the things I do for.the.children! I was at Kroger and realized I needed more bagels. The problem is...Kroger bagels are utter trash. So I finished up there and went to Tom Thumb. As I walked around the store figuring out what else I needed this is what unfolded (as told through a social media comment):

I saw a guy at Kroger who smiled at me. Duh. I'm cute. Then I saw the same guy at Tom Thumb 15 minutes later. He's all, "Were you just at Kroger?" and I'm all, "Yep, but then I had to come here because Kroger's bagels are trash." He starts laughing way harder than polite laughter. I look in his cart. Bagels. It was funny. The guy with him just shook his head and walked away.

Because...story of my life. At least it wasn't a firefighter this time.

Anyway. I finished packing up my son's room tonight and, now that I have packing tape, I can keep moving ahead tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'll be able to move but I do know, with this order in place, I should have more time to pack because nobody should be coming to look at my house while I'm working from home to mold the minds of students.

Speaking of: I sent them a video blast today in pink, polka dot pajamas where I yelled at myself for touching my face about 6 times during the video and kept saying "it's fine." One of the girls suggested I start a YouTube channel so she could laugh all the time. Several others responded to a rainbow heart check-in I sent out today where they responded with the color heart they were feeling (each color means something different ranging from "I'm great!" to "I'm not okay. I need someone to reach out now." There were lots of points of contact and that made my teacher and mama heart super happy.

Tomorrow is our last day of Spring Break before we transition to digital learning. I don't know what's coming or what to expect but I'm excited to get back in a new, albeit weird, routine with my kids.

Aubs