Well, friends...I owe you a bit of an apology. I checked out for a couple of weeks. It wasn't intentional, but there was a whole lot of work to be done, and not a whole lot of help getting it done. It seems that's the story of my life these days.
The week before Thanksgiving break, I had about eleventy-four papers due. They were all due at the same time, and lengthy, so it made me a bit psychotic. It also made parenting fun. Toward the end of the week, I said goodbye to my B because he was spending the holiday with his dad. It was kind of rough knowing the next time I saw him, he would be 10 instead of 9. His stepmom text me and let me know they were going to go to Chicago for the week, and he was so excited when they told him! He ended up getting sick right before they left, and then he had a rough patch while they were in Chicago, which prompted a pretty scary trip to the emergency room...but the good news is he's fine. We got to FaceTime on Thursday afternoon during the exact moment he was born. We sang to him, showed him all the fun things at my sister's house, and sang to him some more. He said he missed us several times this week, and it kind of made my heart explode because he's been firmly in the "I'd rather be at my dad's" camp for quite some time. He came home today, and the first thing he said when I talked to him was, "Mom, I really missed you and N." Who knows? Maybe with double digits comes wisdom that he just didn't have as a single digit. :)
At the end of the weekend before Thanksgiving, I said goodbye to N temporarily. He went to church with his dad and to spend a few days over there and I headed to Houston. While he was with his dad, he learned how to shoot a bow & arrow, spent some time with his older stepbrother who's headed off to college soon (they don't see each other much, and I know N really enjoyed the time they had together), went to see Mockingjay 2 with his stepbrother and stepmom, and watched a JFK documentary followed by a trip to the 6th Floor Museum, a place I've never been to, but always wanted to go. He met my mom at my house on Wednesday morning and they drove down to Houston together. He was really excited to spend time with my sister and brother-in-law. One of his biggest complaints is that he doesn't get to see them enough. Let me just tell you...they were about the only people he saw during the time he was there. They taught him to play darts and smoke a ham in the smoker. They downloaded a new demo for an Xbox One game he wanted to play and discussed all sorts of things. The kid is a dart prodigy or something...he beat them more times than they beat him! It was hard hearing about most of it secondhand, but I'm so glad he had the time with them. He really needed it.
As for me, my Thanksgiving break did not go at all how I anticipated it going. It started off well enough. I arrived at my dad's mid-afternoon on Sunday, and after a little downtime, I headed to my sister's (by way of Target to buy yet another blowdryer) to go see Mockingjay 2 with a group of friends. On Monday, I took advantage of a free day and got a much needed mani-pedi at a place my sister recommended. Oh my gosh, y'all...best pedicure I've had in a while! A week later, there aren't any rough patches, and I've been hard on my feet this week.
After that, I went back to my dad's and waited for him to get home from work. When he got home, he was just ZAPPED. I asked if he wanted to go to the store that night or do it another day. He agreed that sooner was better than later...so off we went! While we were at the store, I noticed how tired he was. He seemed "off," and I finally handed over the shopping cart so he could have something to lean on since he was clearly exhausted. When we got home, I text my sister to give her a heads up and tell her I was worried. He went to bed and took off for work the next morning. As I was working on an assignment, I got a phone call from my dad at 9:55. As soon as I saw his number, I knew something was wrong. "Aubs, I need you to come get me...and we need to go to the hospital." I threw some clothes on and took off. Luckily, my dad lives literally one stoplight from where he works, but it was the longest stoplight ever. I got there, found the people I needed, found my dad, then moved my car to pick him up, and off we went.
When we got to the hospital, he walked in on his own, but as he sat there, telling the nurse his symptoms, I knew in my gut I should've spoken up the night before. They took him to a room to do some tests, and I made sure my sister knew so she could head up there, too. They couldn't determine if it was another stroke without admitting him to do an MRI...so that's how my dad was admitted to the hospital approximately 10 hours prior to his birthday.
I need to take a moment to recognize the nurses (who will never read this, but still...) who found out it was my dad's birthday (granted, he informed one of them that he expected singing at midnight) and went above and beyond to make him feel special. He didn't want either of us to stay with him at the hospital, but he text us and told us that, at midnight, SEVEN nurses on the floor came to his room and entered, singing to him. They brought signs they had made and a little cake and made him feel so special. It was a small gesture, but the impact it had was huge. I am so grateful for such compassionate people...they took time out of their busy evenings to put a smile on a patient's face. My sister and I agreed that we needed to do something special, so we wrote thank you notes to accompany Starbucks gift cards, and she will deliver them this week.
Finally, mid-afternoon on his birthday, my dad was released to go home. This was huge for him because he has prepared the turkey for our family Thanksgiving every year for the past 36 years. It's tradition. I had planned to go to my sister's to spend the remainder of the week with my kid, but knew I couldn't do that...not that night. And I cannot even begin to describe how glad I am that I listened to my gut. Thursday morning came and my dad was off his game. No wonder...a mild stroke will do that to you. This stroke was milder than the one in May, but it seems to have made more of an impact. He was experiencing some diminished capacity on his left side on Thursday morning...enough to where I stepped in and took over the turkey making...which was kind of terrifying, if I'm being totally honest. I had him sit and rest, and I took over everything, INCLUDING driving his truck all week. I don't like that he's sick, but I did love driving that truck.
We headed over to my sister's for dinner, and it was clear that he was just not himself. It was a relaxed and low-key day, but it was still exhausting. He managed to sleep late the next morning, and I was so glad! I left for a couple of hours to go spend some time with my sister's household, but I knew I'd be back to sleep there on Friday night. My dad is amazing and strong, and it was hard to see him vulnerable...just like it was hard last time, too.
If you know me at all, you know my dad is my person. He and I are so much alike (in all ways, good and bad), and to see him broken without a way to "fix" him really weighs on my heart. This spring was the first time I truly realized that my dad was not invincible. And now, as a 62 year old man, I know that we will have to adapt to a new normal; a new normal that is different than the new normal we started adjusting to after his stroke in May. The stroke in May was a huge wake-up call, and he made so many positive changes. He changed his diet, started exercising, and stuck with it. He lost roughly 40 pounds, and has kept the diet going. He didn't fail himself this time...the doctors made that abundantly clear. His meds failed to do their job. One doctor did say he wanted my dad to stop with the personal trainer and start with more low impact activity...like yoga, something my dad said he would be happy to try.
It was so hard to leave him this weekend to return home. It's hard to not be close enough to be there within an hour if something happens. Living 4 hours away is really hard, and I'd like to say I've ugly-cried it all out of my system, but I'm pretty sure I'm just one small, tiny "something" away from a meltdown of epic proportions. Because he's my dad...and I'd be lost without him.
Aubs
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