being responsible. Did I really want to get up today and do laundry, wash dishes, and pack N for 3 days away from me with the entire 5th grade? Nope, not so much. But, I did. And it's not that I mind doing any of those things, but I really just wanted a lazy day in my bed. Alone. It's hard to enjoy your bed when washing your favorite sheets AND your duvet cover/comforter.
being a grown-up. Knowing that there's a full week of work waiting for me when I get to work tomorrow at 8...6 hours of busy work times 5 L.O.N.G. days equals my sanity coming into question.
relinquishing control. Sometimes, things are just out of our hands. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and it sucks. I can't be the boss all the time; there's someone else holding all the cards, and I just need to let Him do what He does best. I just really suck at letting someone else take the wheel.
being cheesy. Being a total nerd and having lame jokes takes a toll on a person. You laugh, but coming up with material that makes people groan, roll their eyes, AND laugh simultaneously is a lot of work. There's entirely too much tension and seriousness in life. Sometimes, you just need someone who isn't afraid to make a complete idiot of themselves. I'm that person.
watching your kids struggle. Life is full of lessons that we learn at different times, in different ways, and I'm having a hard time standing by and watching. I'm a fixer. I'm a doer. I make things better, and if I can't fully solve the problem, I at least bear some of the burden. I can't do that now. It's up to my boys (specifically N) to shoulder the burden and learn from it, and it kills me to sit back (literally on my hands) and watch him flounder. This was NOT part of the deal, but I'm trying. (Refer to the point about relinquishing control.)
letting go. This one's kinda broad, but I've been struggling with letting go of people and things that I've been desperately clinging to, for various reasons. Maybe things are the way they're meant to be, or maybe they'll get better/worse, but I'm finding it very difficult to hold onto something that's mostly non-existent. I wish it weren't that way...but it is. And it hurts.
being happy. Happiness is a state of mind, and you're only as happy as you allow yourself to be. Do I feel like things are missing in my life? Yep. Does that change the fact that I'm pretty content with the way things are? Not really. As my favorite little crab, Sebastian, says, "The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake..." Why dwell on what's not there, when I have so much more going for me? It's silly really. There's no reason for a pity party...I've got too much to live for.
realizing you really are something special. I tend to downplay my success and exploit my failures. I'm not sure why because I have a ton to be proud of in my life. I really do...and I should probably focus a little more on that and lot less on the icky stuff.
to accomplish everything on your "to do" list for the day/week/month/year/lifetime, but it doesn't mean you should quit trying. If I gave up everytime things got difficult or heated, I would be a totally different person. Some people thrive on completing their "to do" lists, and some don't feel like they're achieving anything if there isn't something left at the end of the day. I'm a mixture: I love to know that I got everything accomplished that I set out to do, but I don't freak out if I have an insane number of items to complete in an unrealistic amount of time. I used to freak out, but lately I've realized life is just too short.
to keep on truckin'. Life's always going to throw you a curve when you least expect it. My only hope is that the curve is being thrown by someone who looks really nice in a pair of baseball pants...
Aubs
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