Mad as a Hornet

So, I have one kid that's normal...N.  He doesn't ever really get sick, he doesn't ever have issues with allergies, and he's pretty easy, aside from the fact that he's a brand snob and has decided that he will only wear Nike, and that means he'll only wear socks that cost $15/pair.

Easy.

And then, there's B.  He's asthmatic, so we have a nebulizer and inhalers that go with us anywhere we go.  He's allergic to tons of stuff including peanuts, mango, and dogs/cats, so we also have Benadryl on hand as well as epi pens.  He doesn't care what he wears, but would prefer to just be in his boxers over anything else.

Sigh.

The boys kind of lazed around for most of the day on Thursday, and then decided they would go out in my dad's backyard to play in the evening once it cooled off a little bit.  They were out there for about five minutes when B started shrieking and crying.

Being the unbiased parent I am, I immediately started yelling at N, who was laughing at B's antics, until he realized something was very wrong.  My B had been stung by a hornet on the back of his neck, and since he's never been stung before, I was freaking out, wondering if I was going to have to stab him with a dang epi pen on the way to the emergency room.

I dosed him with Benadryl, my dad put some stuff on it to numb the sting, and then he (very dramatically) threw himself across an ice pack. 

Meanwhile...N was still stewing because I really pissed him off.  I took him to get his hair cut.

Before

After

I have to say, it's not as short as I wanted it to be, but he was fuming so much by the time we got to this point, that the stylist stopped.  And as N stomped off to the bathroom to change his shirt, the stylist looked at me, sighed, and said, "Teenagers." while shaking his head.

"Uh...he's 10." I replied.

The look of shock, followed by the "Oh shit" under his breath, quickly followed by an apology, made me laugh for a few minutes, until N came out of the bathroom with eyes full of hate for his dear, sweet Mama.

It's definitely super fun to be me right about now...every comment he makes is followed by "...with long hair."

So.  Fun.

Aubs

School's Out for the Summer

Per our tradition, I woke the boys up with Alice Cooper's "School's Out for the Summer" on Youtube.  When I went into their room and started the video, N was rolling his eyes (he was awake because of a nasty sunburn that's made him miserable for a couple of days now), and B was practically standing on his head, asleep.

When he heard the music, he started fist pumping...upside down, then he lept off of his bed and started a pretty gnarly air guitar for the duration of the song.  I sent both of them to school without lunch because they got out at 12:30, and we were headed straight to Houston after that.

Apparently, the first graders still ate lunch at 10:30 (which they NEVER do on half days), and B was so upset that he didn't have a lunch, that he didn't even think to eat his snack.  In his backpack.  Because he put it there.

Sigh...

When they got home, we took off for Houston by way of Chick Fil-A.  An hour later, we actually left, and by the time we got to Houston, we were lucky enough to sit on the beltway for an hour an a half.

Hooray for lane closures and construction zones!  After we FINALLY got to my dad's house, we relaxed for a little bit, then headed out for dinner and some grocery shopping.

We ate at Hoggs & Chicks, a cute little restaurant that's near my dad's house...and, even better, across from the Sienna Plantations HEB.  I love HEB.  It's my favorite grocery store of all time.  I look forward to going to my dad's house just to go to the dang grocery store.  This time, B also declared his love for HEB.  I was so proud.

As we were walking down the bean aisle, Paula Abdul was "Straight Up"ing and I was singing along.  I looked up from my phone, and saw all three of them dancing along to the music.  Obviously, we are, indeed, related.  After getting all of the items we needed, we headed back to my dad's to catch the end of the Rangers game.

I have zero reception in my dad's house as far as my cell phone goes, but if I go outside, I get three bars.  Dang radiant bear in the attic...Okay, so maybe it's a radiant barrier, but when my dad first mentioned it to my sister and me, we were convinced he said "radiant bear" which made me think of a bear in a tutu and a frilly umbrella.

Now B wants to meet the bear in attic.  Also, the nature preserve behind his house issued a warning that it's alligator mating season, so entering the wooded areas isn't in our best interest.

Not that I ever intended to go back there anyway...there are mosquitoes the size of my red rocket back there.

Aubs

The last full day of school

The school year is dragging out...I mean slowly winding down, and all this really means to me is that my boys are bringing home every single random scrap of paper that's been in their desks since August of last year.

I have one boy who's happy to throw all of it away, without even looking at what's in there.  He's so easy.

The other kid?  He saw me throw away a piece of a crayon and flipped out.  "MOM!  I was saving that for a special project!"

Really? A sliver of a Sepia crayon?  So useful.

I'm waiting until he goes to bed and trashing all of that stuff.  Yes, I know...I should save all of the precious pieces of paper where he spelled things mostly right and drew hilarious pictures because he'll love to see them someday...right?

Right.  Except, well...he's a boy.  And he doesn't care about any of that.  Besides, I have a ton of stuff like that from when he was smaller, including a really spectacular Mother's Day gift from Pre-K where his head is the center of a flower.

Nothing says "Happy Mother's Day" like a B head, complete with a fantastic booger sticking out of his nostril.

I'm so lucky.

Aubs

What's productivity?

Last night, I got an email at around 11:30 saying, "Please make sure your 5th grader wears a plain white shirt (without writing on it) and dark bottoms to school tomorrow for a ceremony.  After they do the ceremony, they'll change into swimsuits and we'll walk to the aquatic center for a 5th grade day of fun!  Make sure your child has a towel, running shoes, their swimsuit, a cover-up, and sunscreen."

Fantastic.  Where in all holy hell am I going to find this kind of outfit on the next to last full day of school?  Newsflash: My child has worn basketball shorts for 96% of the school year.  He doesn't even own any "normal" bottoms except for jeans, and I'm not that mean.  He may tell you a different story, but he's lying.  I promise.

So, my kid went to school in black basketball shorts with white writing on the edge of one leg, and a white under-armour shirt with a small emblem on it.  And as we pulled up to the turn-in for school, I saw another 5th grader wearing pressed navy pants and a long-sleeve white button down, and I thought to myself, "Shit...I don't even care."

As both boys tumbled out of the car, I saw another 5th grader wearing black & white Adidas shorts and a white undershirt, and thought to myself, "Hahaha, yeah, that's more like it.  Solidarity, Mrs. Chang!"

N came home sunburned and ready to veg some more.  B came home ready to go swimming...so N hung out in his room, and B and I went to the pool for a couple of hours.  He played, some of the 5th grade girls came to play, and then we went home to make dinner.

Because of last night's events, I made the boys go to bed almost an hour early.  I got some sort of entirely unnecessary thrill when it came to making an almost 11 year-old go to bed while it was still fully light outside.

You know...because I can.

At least for two more days.

Aubs

The sloth-like behavior continues

Y'all, Sunday hasn't been much different than Saturday.  N opted out of going to his dad's again, and I opted out of participating in life.

The good news is I almost feel like a human being again...and it's really great timing, too, because B came home from his week at his dad's today.

I had to go get him from their house, something I've managed to avoid since they moved earlier in the year, thanks to school schedules and our personal schedules.  Last night, his dad (who wasn't even going to be around when I got B back) made a huge stink about me coming to get him at their house.  It's just not on my top 10 list.

And this is where it gets nuts.  B's stepmom called me to tell me she was taking B to a movie literally right around the corner from my apartment.  I told her I'd come get him from the movie, and she said, "No.  I'll take him back to my house and you can just come get him there."

Really?  Because that's not out of my way or anything...and I'm sort of doing YOU a favor by taking my two weeks right now instead of moving it down a week, which is what I really wanted to do.  This whole co-parenting in two separate households thing is rough at times.

He came home and wanted to swim, but I passed on that as I didn't want to go.  Besides, it took a good hour out of my life to go find their dang house and then navigate my way back a much different (and faster) way.  Still, I have no clue how they can possibly claim it takes them 10 minutes to get from their house to B's school.

I'm so glad they're happy together.

Speaking of happy...I made treats for the baseball party, and after I stopped trying to recreate the recipe I found on a blog, it was much easier.  Behold:

Rice Krispies treats formed in muffin tins!  Genius!  I could use them to make soccer balls too, probably...you know, if I knew any kids who liked soccer...Hmmmmmm...anyway, then I dipped the tops in white chocolate, and drew the "laces" with red icing.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...after I decided to do it my own way.

Imagine that. 

My special someone came by to see me for a few minutes tonight before he flies out on a business trip tomorrow for an entire week.  When he gets home, we'll be in Houston, so he stopped by to say hi, and we sat outside talking for a little while.  Then, all of a sudden, we both hear hysterics from inside my apartment.  B has totally flipped his lid because he can't find me, and N?  Well, he's just so sweet...he told his little brother that I was probably dead...or kidnapped.  I run in to grab B to show him that I'm perfectly fine, and explain I was just sitting outside talking to our special someone.  I carry him outside in his boxers to see that's all it is, and he finally starts to calm down.  I got him back inside, and told him I'd come cuddle with him in a few minutes.  When "SS" left, I went in, locked the door, and went to climb into bed with B.

That's when he said, "Wait!  Can I go tell SS bye?!" I nodded, so he hauled out the front door and started shrieking, "Bye SS!!!  BYE!"  N joined in, and I was wondering in my brain whether he was terrified that someone was trying to abduct us, or thrilled that my boys were telling him good-bye.

I'm going with the latter.  Our neighbors, however, probably think we're deranged...but that's cool.  I'm pretty sure they're moving next weekend.

The vegging continues.  Maybe I'll be human tomorrow.

Aubs

The aftermath of being an over-achiever

I've had a busy week...and after the pool party ended last night, I gave home with fire ant bites on my feet and hands, showered, left my hair wet, and crawled into bed...never to be heard from again.

N was the only kid home, and he had bruised feet from running around on the rocks for 5 hours, so he decided not to move all day either.  In fact, when I woke up at 8:40, and then again at 10:00, I was sure he'd already gotten up to eat breakfast and was just playing xbox or watching tv.  Man, I was wrong.  It was approximately 11:36 when I heard him start moving.

He hobbled into my room to complain about his feet, saw me in bed surrounded by my laptop and the remote control, said, "Good idea" and disappeared again.  It was definitely one of those, "We're staying in bed all day because we're completely exhausted" kinds of days. 

We both read, we both ate junk food, and watched a ton of tv, and deemed it good for our souls.  He opted out of going to his dad's because he was walking around on his heels, and I opted out of helping my mom clean out her garage for the very same reason.

We're quite a pair, my N and me...

Because, really?  After all of the stuff I've been trying to finish up this week, I think I need a day (or 6) to just do nothing.

Nothing is really great.

Sometimes.

Aubs

End of Season Baseball Party

As I sit in my bed with wet hair that I just don't feel like drying, I'm typing like a spaz because I was attacked by fire ants.  My left index finger and my left foot are nearly twice their normal size...obviously fire ants and I do NOT get along.  I wish I could take a picture of my fingers, but N is already in bed, and I'm just not that talented.  Maybe tomorrow.

Also, I think my feet are going to fall off.  Who decided that putting little rocks around the pool was a good idea?  Why can't they just be plain and have concrete.  I don't need a resort pool...and speaking of pools, this one felt more like taking a bath tonight.  It was not cold, or even cool.  It was lukewarm bathwater.  Yick.

Eight of the ten boys showed up, and that's pretty awesome!  They all had a blast, shooting each other with water guns.  After they played for a while, they all got out for some hot dogs, chips, and fruit...and then they went back in WITHOUT waiting 30 minutes.  I know...we're rebels.  From the time the first group of boys showed up, I was under fire from sniper water gun fire.  By the time another family showed up, it looked like I'd wet my pants, and my green tank top was totally soaked.

When N's friend, J, did something (I have no clue what it was at this point), I picked him up and threw him in the pool.  Bad idea.  His dad, little brother, and N avenged his attack, and I went into the pool, fully clothed.  Into bathwater.  Refreshing.

After we ate, I saw a gun floating near the side and jumped in...and for the next hour or two, I was attacked by every single kid in the pool.  Some were my allies...until they turned on me, but the good thing about boys?  They always come back.  At one point, I had J as a human shield in the front and his little brother, E, in the back.  Awesome.  Until one of the others shot me right in the temple.

The coach's son had some sort of vendetta towards me, and I have to wonder why.  Seriously, he was brutal, and totally trying to drown me.  They all had a blast, and so did I.  I was one of two adults (and the only female) to go into the pool and fight the baseball team.  I'd like to thing I was victorious.  They all gave up and moved on to fighting each other, and I got out to have grown-up talk time...until they weren't paying attention, and I went back for a sneak attack.

It was a blast.  And some of the boys didn't want to leave...and what's even more interesting is that I had a great conversation with one of the moms that I never thought I would've had.  It was hilarious, and entirely too revealing...my favorite kind!  Seriously, though, it was so fun/funny.  It's amazing what comes to the surface after a few drinks are consumed!  I'll be laughing about that for a while, that's for sure.

When it was just N, J, & E left, it was time to wrap it up...and it, per usual, it was way later than we expected.  It took N & me two trips to get all of the stuff down there, and then he went back for another water gun.  It took one trip to take everything home, and one major spill of stuff before we both exclaimed, "THIS SUCKS!" at the same time, although, I was talking about the mess and he was talking about J not being able to stay.

Because, y'all?  He adores J.  And it's mutual.  They both claim each other as their best friend...they just haven't mentioned being "exclusive" yet.

And that makes my heart so happy, I don't know what to do about it.

Aubs