After sending N off to school this morning, I got dressed and went to run a couple of errands before heading to B's school to help with Super Friends Day. I needed to get my tire pressure checked, so I hit Discount Tire before heading to Target to "make" 2 dozen cookies.
As I walked in, my phone started ringing, with a "+" then four digits, a sure sign that I'm getting a call from one of the schools. I answered and a woman introduced herself, then said B was fine. When someone from the school calls, especially B's school, my breath always catches in my chest because he's so asthmatic and allergic to everything. I gave an audible sigh of relief, and then she said something that rocked me to my core.
"I'm calling to let you know that one of B's classmates passed away last night from an illness. We have not told the students, but we will have counselors and staff onsite to help in whatever way possible. More information will be sent out as soon as we know more."
What? I know my voice broke as I asked for any other details, but she couldn't give me any. I know all of these kids. Half of them were in B's class last year, so we know each other really well. And, since I'm room mom, I knew for a fact that, aside from allergies, nobody in the class had a terminal illness of any kind.
I abandoned the cookies and took off for the school. When I got into the building, I talked to my British pal at the front desk and asked if I could go to the classroom. She initially said I couldn't, but then told me how upset B's teacher was and said I should go check on her. I went into the classroom, and immediately started looking to see who wasn't there. I hugged B's teacher and told her I was there to do anything I could to help. We talked and she told me what she knew...that this student was fine on Wednesday, something I knew, because the student's father emailed me and said his child would bring cookies for our Super Friends Day, and then Thursday, the student wasn't feeling well...by Thursday night, they were gone.
My eye kept falling on one particular desk, which was odd because when the woman from the school called me, one of my first thoughts was of that student. I asked B's teacher with a nod of my head, and she nodded. And that's when I teared up...because this student? This student had been in class with B last year, too, a kind, caring, sweet, and smart little learner. When I gave the class the task of making a page for a book for their teacher last year, this student was one of four who actually took time to think of something unique to write about her. "My favorite thing about Mrs. Wilkinson is she teaches us harder and harder and harder stuff to make us smart."
And now? They're gone. B's teacher is brand new this year. She graduated from college this last spring, and I can't even begin to imagine how she is feeling. She's a sweet young woman...and so strong. We talked about things we could do to honor the student and their family, and I checked on her (and her class) throughout the day. I threw my homework to the side and stayed. All. Day.
Around 1:30, I decided I was going to head out, so I stuck my head in to make sure she didn't need anything. B was sitting at his desk all by himself, and he looked awful. He'd woken up with terrible allergies at his dad's this morning, and he looked like he'd been in a fight. I told his teacher I was just going to take him home instead, and we left. On the way out, I called B's stepmom to let her know we needed to meet/talk.
She met us at Chick Fil-A, and B played on the playground while I filled her in. When he came out, we talked about the social at school that was meant to take place tonight, and I told him it had been postponed again (last week it was postponed due to rain). He asked why, and I said, "You know...God has a plan for everything, right? He knows when we're going to be born and when we're going to die before we even exist...and the reason they postponed the social is because one of your friends got really really sick."
He looked at me and asked if it was the student by name, and I said yes. He looked at me, terrified and said, "Did they die?" and I nodded my head and said, "Yes." And that's when my baby boy dissolved in my lap, tears running down his face and sobs wracking his little body. His stepmom sat, seemingly unmoved, while I teared up and cuddled my precious boy. He had a million questions about what he could do to help. Could he make something for his friend's parents? Do I know where they live? Can we do it when they have a little time to be sad? Why did it have to be his friend? Should he tell the other kids in his class?
We sat there, the three of us, having a conversation about how it was okay to be sad, and not okay to tell other kids because that's what parents are for, and that we would absolutely do something for the family when it was appropriate. This friend of B's has a younger sibling in Kindergarten, too, so we talked about how hard it would be for them, too.
And I just thought about how horrible this week has been and how I hope to God that it ends before anything else happens...because I honestly don't think I can take it.
Aubs
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
I guess being busy is better than not being busy
My mind has been reeling over the last few days, and I'm so glad I've been so busy. It's given me less time to think. That's probably for the best.
Today was gymnastics day for B, so his stepmom volunteered to pick him up after school, help him with his homework, take him to gymnastics, then bring him home. So helpful. N still wasn't finished with his art project, so the plan was to take him BACK to school at 4:45 so he could work on it for a little while. Meanwhile, I had an event at work for an hour, so I went to do that while he worked.
Long story, short? He's still not finished. The deadline was extended to Monday, but he still has one more part to complete, and I'm not sure when that will happen.
About half an hour before B was supposed to come home, his dad called to see if he could just sleep over instead. B's gymnastics class is late; he finishes at 8:30, which is his absolute latest bedtime during the week. I agreed, because when the boy doesn't get sleep, it's a nightmare for everyone involved.
Since B wasn't coming home, N decided this would be a fantastic time to have a breakdown. He's notorious for leaving clothing at one house and needing it at the other. At 8:15, he decided to call his dad to tell him he needed basketball shorts from his house, and that it was an emergency. That mostly just caused a huge fight between the three of us on speakerphone, and I told N he'd just have to wear something else and be more responsible. We went to his dad's on Tuesday to get baseball stuff for practice. Why didn't he get it then? There have been four other days this week where he could've asked to get it...why wait until Thursday night?
He's my child.
I have so much to do tomorrow...I'm volunteering at Super Friends Day at B's school (Grandparents Day to non-superheroes) and I have three homework assignments that need to be posted by 11:00 pm. Should be a great time...Oh, and I have to make two dozen cookies.
Crap.
Aubs
Today was gymnastics day for B, so his stepmom volunteered to pick him up after school, help him with his homework, take him to gymnastics, then bring him home. So helpful. N still wasn't finished with his art project, so the plan was to take him BACK to school at 4:45 so he could work on it for a little while. Meanwhile, I had an event at work for an hour, so I went to do that while he worked.
Long story, short? He's still not finished. The deadline was extended to Monday, but he still has one more part to complete, and I'm not sure when that will happen.
About half an hour before B was supposed to come home, his dad called to see if he could just sleep over instead. B's gymnastics class is late; he finishes at 8:30, which is his absolute latest bedtime during the week. I agreed, because when the boy doesn't get sleep, it's a nightmare for everyone involved.
Since B wasn't coming home, N decided this would be a fantastic time to have a breakdown. He's notorious for leaving clothing at one house and needing it at the other. At 8:15, he decided to call his dad to tell him he needed basketball shorts from his house, and that it was an emergency. That mostly just caused a huge fight between the three of us on speakerphone, and I told N he'd just have to wear something else and be more responsible. We went to his dad's on Tuesday to get baseball stuff for practice. Why didn't he get it then? There have been four other days this week where he could've asked to get it...why wait until Thursday night?
He's my child.
I have so much to do tomorrow...I'm volunteering at Super Friends Day at B's school (Grandparents Day to non-superheroes) and I have three homework assignments that need to be posted by 11:00 pm. Should be a great time...Oh, and I have to make two dozen cookies.
Crap.
Aubs
Thursday, September 26, 2013
What? Wednesday?
Since N is still not finished with his art project (due Friday), I told him he was going to have to stay after school to get it finished. He agreed, and so B and I had some extra time together this afternoon. While he worked on his math and reading homework, I decided to get a jumpstart on dinner, so that by the time we went to pick N up, I'd just have to boil noodles for spaghetti.
Except, then I realized I didn't have any spaghetti noodles, so I improvised and used rotini instead. When I put dinner on the table, N was pumped, but B was determined not to like it. Twenty minutes (and three clean plates) later, everyone was stuffed, and in pretty high spirits.
That's about when N told me the girl who died of leukemia was in his art class. Apparently, it was her first year in public school, so she didn't really know a lot of people. She was in a wheelchair and was bald from the chemo, and N said he didn't really know a lot about her, just that she was the one who had died. That made me so sad, not only because I have a huge soft spot for pediatric cancer patients, but because nobody at that school got to know her, to have the opportunity to be friends with her.
I let the boys have some time on the xbox while I thought about how her parents must be hurting, and let me just say...this has been a rough week already. Then N told me he'd heard a boy had been hit by a car outside of another elementary school in our town. Seriously? I don't know if the boy is okay, but I hope so.
My heart is heavy and hurting tonight. I squeezed my boys super tight before bed tonight and my eyes filled up with tears. I'm glad N wasn't close to this girl who passed away, but I'm sad he didn't know her better.
Aubs
Except, then I realized I didn't have any spaghetti noodles, so I improvised and used rotini instead. When I put dinner on the table, N was pumped, but B was determined not to like it. Twenty minutes (and three clean plates) later, everyone was stuffed, and in pretty high spirits.
That's about when N told me the girl who died of leukemia was in his art class. Apparently, it was her first year in public school, so she didn't really know a lot of people. She was in a wheelchair and was bald from the chemo, and N said he didn't really know a lot about her, just that she was the one who had died. That made me so sad, not only because I have a huge soft spot for pediatric cancer patients, but because nobody at that school got to know her, to have the opportunity to be friends with her.
I let the boys have some time on the xbox while I thought about how her parents must be hurting, and let me just say...this has been a rough week already. Then N told me he'd heard a boy had been hit by a car outside of another elementary school in our town. Seriously? I don't know if the boy is okay, but I hope so.
My heart is heavy and hurting tonight. I squeezed my boys super tight before bed tonight and my eyes filled up with tears. I'm glad N wasn't close to this girl who passed away, but I'm sad he didn't know her better.
Aubs
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
The joys of baseball practice
B's dad swung by this morning to take B to school for Donuts with Dad (aka sugar up your kids, blow some money at the book fair, and then send them to class to be "productive" students), and agreed to drop N at school, too so he could work on an art project.
What does that mean? I got to shower before work without rushing and it was glorious. I asked him to do me this favor, and I didn't even cringe when I did. I think I might be growing up a little bit...
After work, I got home and checked my email. There was an email from N's school entitled "Sad News" and it broke my heart. The principal wrote to notify parents that a 6th grade girl had lost her battle with Leukemia the night before. This was hard news, but in addition to that another 6th grader had lost a parent over the weekend. When N got home, I asked him if he knew about the girl, and he said he wasn't sure. We both immediately thought of a little girl in his class last year who had been diagnosed with cancer, but neither of us could remember what type.
We loaded up and headed to the batting cages for practice.. B came along and asked me every three minutes if it was time to go. I sat, dying in the extreme temperatures, watching the boys run drill after drill after drill, hoping they'd get to play this weekend, even with rain in the forecast again.
We took another boy home and then headed home for dinner. Night number two was pretty painless, too. I'm starting to think this is the twilight zone...
Aubs
What does that mean? I got to shower before work without rushing and it was glorious. I asked him to do me this favor, and I didn't even cringe when I did. I think I might be growing up a little bit...
After work, I got home and checked my email. There was an email from N's school entitled "Sad News" and it broke my heart. The principal wrote to notify parents that a 6th grade girl had lost her battle with Leukemia the night before. This was hard news, but in addition to that another 6th grader had lost a parent over the weekend. When N got home, I asked him if he knew about the girl, and he said he wasn't sure. We both immediately thought of a little girl in his class last year who had been diagnosed with cancer, but neither of us could remember what type.
We loaded up and headed to the batting cages for practice.. B came along and asked me every three minutes if it was time to go. I sat, dying in the extreme temperatures, watching the boys run drill after drill after drill, hoping they'd get to play this weekend, even with rain in the forecast again.
We took another boy home and then headed home for dinner. Night number two was pretty painless, too. I'm starting to think this is the twilight zone...
Aubs
Monday, September 23, 2013
Seriously?
Why do Mondays keep showing up on my calendar? I mean...I guess it's important to get through them to get to Tuesdays and so on, but I could really live without Mondays.
B came home today after school, and our first day together is always a learning process. The kid eats no less than 5 snacks when he gets off the bus, and that's before N gets home half an hour later. If he's putting away this much food at the ripe old age of 7, I'm terrified of what their teen years hold for me.
We wrestled our way through homework and when N got home, we went to Target to get some groceries for lunches. When we're out of kid-approved lunch items, I just wait to go to the store when they're with me. I hate doing that because it takes forever and is met with a ton of resistance, but it's necessary.
The trip was relatively short, dinner was a pretty easy affair, and the night was relatively peaceful.
It makes me worry about what's to come for the rest of the week...
Aubs
B came home today after school, and our first day together is always a learning process. The kid eats no less than 5 snacks when he gets off the bus, and that's before N gets home half an hour later. If he's putting away this much food at the ripe old age of 7, I'm terrified of what their teen years hold for me.
We wrestled our way through homework and when N got home, we went to Target to get some groceries for lunches. When we're out of kid-approved lunch items, I just wait to go to the store when they're with me. I hate doing that because it takes forever and is met with a ton of resistance, but it's necessary.
The trip was relatively short, dinner was a pretty easy affair, and the night was relatively peaceful.
It makes me worry about what's to come for the rest of the week...
Aubs
What...is...fall?
Dear Fall-like temperatures,
It's high time you made your presence known. These early morning teasers and late evening stunts you keep pulling? Not. Cool. Get it? Got it? Good.
Sincerely,
Me
I woke up sometime around 3:00 this morning, wondering why it was so hot in my room. Since my room faces south, it stays consistently 5-10 degrees hotter than the rest of the house...great in the dead of "winter," but not so much for the other 11.5 months of the year. I kicked my way out from under my cocoon of pillows and sheets and forced myself back to sleep. I woke up again around 9:00 and got started on my homework. Just as I was getting ready to post my assignment, the power flickered...not enough to lose power, but something was up. That was when I looked at the microwave and noticed it was "0" o'clock...and THEN the power went off for real.
I sat there, working on my assignments without posting them, saving them as a document until my laptop battery started running out of juice. Time? 11:00. I called my mom to tell her I was coming over to shower, and spent the next half an hour trying to find things in the dark. Why didn't I open the blinds or windows you ask? Because it was already warm in the apartment, and the southern exposure would've made it boiling in 3.5 seconds. I fumbled around, grabbed what I needed, and took off.
I spent several hours at my mom's house this afternoon, showering and hanging out, working on homework, and eating a super-early dinner before I headed off to babysit two of my favorite kiddos...two, soon(ish) to be three! Their mom told me tonight that they've been cleared to adopt a baby girl from China, and they are so excited!!! It came about in a totally funny way, too...she was rushing through the kitchen, looking for her checkbook. Her husband said, "This one?" and she said, "No. That's the adoption checkbook. Oh yeah, by the way, we're adopting a baby! Waaaaaah!"
This family is just too cute, y'all. I love them to pieces, and I'm so excited to watch their family grow. I've been taking care of C since she was 6 months old, and now she's in Kindergarten. They moved before I did, so I didn't get to see much of J when he was a baby, but he told me I'm the bestest Aubby in the whole wide world and his favorite babysitter. C echoed his sentiments, telling me Lauren is her favorite beach babysitter, but I'm her favorite all the time babysitter...and they both stare at me, wide-eyed, when I tell them how long I've known C. I can't wait to meet this new little one when she's chosen and brought home!
On my way home, I stopped by to see a friend of mine...I haven't seen him in a while, and it was nice to catch up/charge my phone before heading home to an apartment that may or may not have power. I text my neighbor, and she said it had been on and off all day, that right now it was on, but it had just come back on after being off for a couple of hours. I stayed over there way longer than I intended to, but my phone got a decent charge. When I walked into my apartment, the air conditioner was humming away, and everything in the freezer still seemed to be mostly frozen.
I call that a successful day with intermittent power.
Aubs
It's high time you made your presence known. These early morning teasers and late evening stunts you keep pulling? Not. Cool. Get it? Got it? Good.
Sincerely,
Me
I woke up sometime around 3:00 this morning, wondering why it was so hot in my room. Since my room faces south, it stays consistently 5-10 degrees hotter than the rest of the house...great in the dead of "winter," but not so much for the other 11.5 months of the year. I kicked my way out from under my cocoon of pillows and sheets and forced myself back to sleep. I woke up again around 9:00 and got started on my homework. Just as I was getting ready to post my assignment, the power flickered...not enough to lose power, but something was up. That was when I looked at the microwave and noticed it was "0" o'clock...and THEN the power went off for real.
I sat there, working on my assignments without posting them, saving them as a document until my laptop battery started running out of juice. Time? 11:00. I called my mom to tell her I was coming over to shower, and spent the next half an hour trying to find things in the dark. Why didn't I open the blinds or windows you ask? Because it was already warm in the apartment, and the southern exposure would've made it boiling in 3.5 seconds. I fumbled around, grabbed what I needed, and took off.
I spent several hours at my mom's house this afternoon, showering and hanging out, working on homework, and eating a super-early dinner before I headed off to babysit two of my favorite kiddos...two, soon(ish) to be three! Their mom told me tonight that they've been cleared to adopt a baby girl from China, and they are so excited!!! It came about in a totally funny way, too...she was rushing through the kitchen, looking for her checkbook. Her husband said, "This one?" and she said, "No. That's the adoption checkbook. Oh yeah, by the way, we're adopting a baby! Waaaaaah!"
This family is just too cute, y'all. I love them to pieces, and I'm so excited to watch their family grow. I've been taking care of C since she was 6 months old, and now she's in Kindergarten. They moved before I did, so I didn't get to see much of J when he was a baby, but he told me I'm the bestest Aubby in the whole wide world and his favorite babysitter. C echoed his sentiments, telling me Lauren is her favorite beach babysitter, but I'm her favorite all the time babysitter...and they both stare at me, wide-eyed, when I tell them how long I've known C. I can't wait to meet this new little one when she's chosen and brought home!
On my way home, I stopped by to see a friend of mine...I haven't seen him in a while, and it was nice to catch up/charge my phone before heading home to an apartment that may or may not have power. I text my neighbor, and she said it had been on and off all day, that right now it was on, but it had just come back on after being off for a couple of hours. I stayed over there way longer than I intended to, but my phone got a decent charge. When I walked into my apartment, the air conditioner was humming away, and everything in the freezer still seemed to be mostly frozen.
I call that a successful day with intermittent power.
Aubs
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Date yourself Saturday
With all of the rain in the last 24 hours, it was no surprise that N's baseball game was postponed. It just so happens that his game last fall on this exact weekend was ALSO postponed due to weather. Who remembers that stuff? You know...except me. Last fall, though, my sister and brother-in-law were in town for her high school reunion, so they had planned to attend his game, only to spend the entire reunion weekend in the rain. Bummer. What does this mean? Well, it just means that we have games into November now, instead of ending at the end of October.
So, since I had a free day to myself, what did I do? Homework. I know. I live on the edge every single day, wild and reckless. After I turned in some of my homework, I went to the mall. I haven't bought jeans in almost 3 years. I have a couple pair that haven't been ruined or ripped to shreds, but my supply was totally dwindling. I started at Macy's (because I usually have good luck there) and ended up at Dillards, where there was a much larger selection. Newsflash: If you spend at least $80 on Juniors/Women's jeans at Dillards, they will alter the hems for free! You take them home, wash them, and bring them back with your receipt, and they'll mark the alterations for you and get them back to you within a week. This is a huge deal. It's so hard to find the right length; the longer lengths are always there in an (over) abundance, but the middle of the road lengths are impossible to find. It was a good day. And, to round out my great day, I scored a couple pair of jeans for B, too...since he isn't at all picky about what he wears, as long as pants are readily available for when he decides he's cold...like on the third day of school, when I told him he was insane because it was still approximately 187 degrees, even in the middle of the night.
I went home, threw the jeans I needed altered in the washer and thought about continuing to clean my apartment. Instead, I looked at movie times. This girl decided she was going to take herself on a cheap date because she needs to get out a little more. So, after my jeans were done washing and drying, I took them back to Dillards to get them measured for alterations. Then, I did a little bit of window shopping (Bath & Body Works still only has gross smelling candles, by the way), then went to see "The Heat" at the dollar theater.
Y'all, I love Melissa McCarthy. I was first introduced to her as Suki on "The Gilmore Girls," which will always be one of my favorite shows, and she cracked me up. Since then, I've seen her in various roles, but it seems like she's really come into her own on the big screen in the last few years. She is hilarious! There was entirely too much language for my taste, but the sarcasm and wit? I feel like we could be total bffs and laugh all the time!
I picked an earlier showing, so it was before 9:00 when I got out of the theater. It's one thing to go on a date by yourself...it's another entirely to leave an establishment by yourself when it's super-dark/late, and walk to your car by yourself.
Safety first, kids!
Aubs
So, since I had a free day to myself, what did I do? Homework. I know. I live on the edge every single day, wild and reckless. After I turned in some of my homework, I went to the mall. I haven't bought jeans in almost 3 years. I have a couple pair that haven't been ruined or ripped to shreds, but my supply was totally dwindling. I started at Macy's (because I usually have good luck there) and ended up at Dillards, where there was a much larger selection. Newsflash: If you spend at least $80 on Juniors/Women's jeans at Dillards, they will alter the hems for free! You take them home, wash them, and bring them back with your receipt, and they'll mark the alterations for you and get them back to you within a week. This is a huge deal. It's so hard to find the right length; the longer lengths are always there in an (over) abundance, but the middle of the road lengths are impossible to find. It was a good day. And, to round out my great day, I scored a couple pair of jeans for B, too...since he isn't at all picky about what he wears, as long as pants are readily available for when he decides he's cold...like on the third day of school, when I told him he was insane because it was still approximately 187 degrees, even in the middle of the night.
I went home, threw the jeans I needed altered in the washer and thought about continuing to clean my apartment. Instead, I looked at movie times. This girl decided she was going to take herself on a cheap date because she needs to get out a little more. So, after my jeans were done washing and drying, I took them back to Dillards to get them measured for alterations. Then, I did a little bit of window shopping (Bath & Body Works still only has gross smelling candles, by the way), then went to see "The Heat" at the dollar theater.
Y'all, I love Melissa McCarthy. I was first introduced to her as Suki on "The Gilmore Girls," which will always be one of my favorite shows, and she cracked me up. Since then, I've seen her in various roles, but it seems like she's really come into her own on the big screen in the last few years. She is hilarious! There was entirely too much language for my taste, but the sarcasm and wit? I feel like we could be total bffs and laugh all the time!
I picked an earlier showing, so it was before 9:00 when I got out of the theater. It's one thing to go on a date by yourself...it's another entirely to leave an establishment by yourself when it's super-dark/late, and walk to your car by yourself.
Safety first, kids!
Aubs
Saturday, September 21, 2013
And the rain just keeps coming
Not that I'm complaining about the rain...I just wish it would be slightly cooler and rainy. You know, because nothing says "fall" like temperatures in the 90s with driving, warm rain. Gag. I'm grateful for the rain, and grateful for the fact that baseball practice was nixed. I'm betting the game will be rescheduled, too, since there's no way the fields will dry in time.
My morning consisted of a work meeting, a trip to Target for printer paper, beans, and oatmeal, and a trip to the BRAND NEW Hobby Lobby to get fall paper to print invitations for the 2nd grade "Super Friends Day" party, I ran home to print said invitations. Then, I ran out in the ran to play paper/rock/scissors with another mom to see who would be able to order Chipotle for her child for lunch first. I won because my kid's lunch started 2 minutes before hers. Also, as I waited for my total, I noticed she was purchasing 8 different items, so I'm super grateful that I got to go first.
I rushed to school (Chipotle opens at 11:00, B's lunch is at 11:10), and surprised B with his Chipotle. We got to sit at the "date" table, which kind of disappointed him, because part of the fun of having your parent come eat with you is that the other kids get to sit with you, too. Except, now, they can't. So, we traded lunches since he was at his dad's this week. He got his carnitas tacos, and I got his little stub of a Subway sandwich. It was obviously a really great trade...for one of us.
While he went to (indoor) recess, I went to the library to check out the book fair, and got roped into helping with wish lists on Monday. I don't even mind it...it'll be an interesting experience. I'm helping B's teacher from last year in addition to his class this year. Sigh...I'm such a giver. I headed to B's classroom after that to read to his class for a little while. We read "Oliver Who Would Not Sleep," and "The Stinky Cheese Man." Both are total classics, although several of the kids were confused with the Stinky Cheese Man stories. And, per usual, my kid was obnoxious, which seems to happen when his parents are around, but not nearly as often when they aren't.
Go figure. You'd think it'd be the opposite.
After that, I went home to collapse on the couch. It was necessary. N came home and went outside for a bit (when the rain stopped), then his dad came to pick him for the weekend. I decided to be motivated, for whatever reason, and started cleaning the apartment...until my mop snapped. Literally. It snapped. So, I had to throw on N's shoes (they were the closest) and ran to the store to get a mop.
I saw that "The Green Mile" was on tv, so I tuned in. I haven't seen that movie in forever, so I was excited to watch it again. Y'all. I cried so hard...Michael Clarke Duncan was such a great actor. Another example of a talented actor who was taken entirely too soon. And Tom Hanks? Man...I love when he really gets into his roles. I haven't seen a good Tom Hanks movie lately. Has anyone else? I'm hopeful for the movie where he gets taken hostage by pirates. Captain Phillips? Maybe?
I have one last voucher for the Alamo Drafthouse, so maybe I'll go see it there. Ooooh, I like that idea.
Also...coming up! Catching Fire! Yay!
Aubs
My morning consisted of a work meeting, a trip to Target for printer paper, beans, and oatmeal, and a trip to the BRAND NEW Hobby Lobby to get fall paper to print invitations for the 2nd grade "Super Friends Day" party, I ran home to print said invitations. Then, I ran out in the ran to play paper/rock/scissors with another mom to see who would be able to order Chipotle for her child for lunch first. I won because my kid's lunch started 2 minutes before hers. Also, as I waited for my total, I noticed she was purchasing 8 different items, so I'm super grateful that I got to go first.
I rushed to school (Chipotle opens at 11:00, B's lunch is at 11:10), and surprised B with his Chipotle. We got to sit at the "date" table, which kind of disappointed him, because part of the fun of having your parent come eat with you is that the other kids get to sit with you, too. Except, now, they can't. So, we traded lunches since he was at his dad's this week. He got his carnitas tacos, and I got his little stub of a Subway sandwich. It was obviously a really great trade...for one of us.
While he went to (indoor) recess, I went to the library to check out the book fair, and got roped into helping with wish lists on Monday. I don't even mind it...it'll be an interesting experience. I'm helping B's teacher from last year in addition to his class this year. Sigh...I'm such a giver. I headed to B's classroom after that to read to his class for a little while. We read "Oliver Who Would Not Sleep," and "The Stinky Cheese Man." Both are total classics, although several of the kids were confused with the Stinky Cheese Man stories. And, per usual, my kid was obnoxious, which seems to happen when his parents are around, but not nearly as often when they aren't.
Go figure. You'd think it'd be the opposite.
After that, I went home to collapse on the couch. It was necessary. N came home and went outside for a bit (when the rain stopped), then his dad came to pick him for the weekend. I decided to be motivated, for whatever reason, and started cleaning the apartment...until my mop snapped. Literally. It snapped. So, I had to throw on N's shoes (they were the closest) and ran to the store to get a mop.
I saw that "The Green Mile" was on tv, so I tuned in. I haven't seen that movie in forever, so I was excited to watch it again. Y'all. I cried so hard...Michael Clarke Duncan was such a great actor. Another example of a talented actor who was taken entirely too soon. And Tom Hanks? Man...I love when he really gets into his roles. I haven't seen a good Tom Hanks movie lately. Has anyone else? I'm hopeful for the movie where he gets taken hostage by pirates. Captain Phillips? Maybe?
I have one last voucher for the Alamo Drafthouse, so maybe I'll go see it there. Ooooh, I like that idea.
Also...coming up! Catching Fire! Yay!
Aubs
Thursday, September 19, 2013
I can breathe...it's a miracle!
Well, let's be honest...it didn't start out that way. The pain I've been experiencing all week was there, front and center, as soon as I woke up this morning. Obviously, I was really hoping it would still be there. I've gotten used to walking around with what feels like a scalpel stuck in my rib cage. It's as heavenly as it sounds, trust me.
I went to work, realizing I hadn't made the coffee that I fully intended to make, so I made a slight detour at Market Street, and asked for a decaf latte. I'm pretty sure that "barista" gave me the fully leaded version, which resulted in an awesome headache. OR, maybe it was just the impending rain in the forecast. Either way, I worked, I homeworked, and headed home for some time with the heat/ice packs. Only...I got sidetracked with an attempt at a nap.
I failed.
N came home, announced he didn't have any homework (something I wasn't quite sure I believed), and headed to the park to play with his friends. I mean...hang out. You know, whatever middle schoolers think is cool. When I was 11, we totally still played. A lot. And rode bikes. But, what do I know? I was a girl. Ew.
I gave up on the nap and made chili for dinner instead, even though I wasn't even remotely hungry. Our local football team played a nationally televised game tonight, so I tuned into that (after a short chat with my sister), and saw the team run out onto the field, waving a flag with "21" on it. Last fall, the football team lost a member of their team...a person that was described as the heart of the team, when he jumped into an area lake with his friends and never resurfaced. That same week, another boy at our local high school took his own life. It was a sad week, and it's been a sad year. There are reminders of them everywhere, so it was almost comforting to see that this young man is still remembered almost a year after his death. It will be a hard few weeks...but this community is like a family, unlike anything I've ever seen. They rallied around these two families, not just our immediate community, but school districts around us: football teams and youth groups and entire student bodies. It was amazing to witness, and still chokes me up when I think about it.
So, I was watching, and all of a sudden, I lost my signal. This isn't anything new. I lose my signal all the time, but then I noticed a foreign sound outside. Rain! Steady, pounding rain. Words cannot describe my joy, and I can't wait to go to bed, in hopes that I'll get a solid night's sleep for once.
In fact...zzzzzzz
Aubs
I went to work, realizing I hadn't made the coffee that I fully intended to make, so I made a slight detour at Market Street, and asked for a decaf latte. I'm pretty sure that "barista" gave me the fully leaded version, which resulted in an awesome headache. OR, maybe it was just the impending rain in the forecast. Either way, I worked, I homeworked, and headed home for some time with the heat/ice packs. Only...I got sidetracked with an attempt at a nap.
I failed.
N came home, announced he didn't have any homework (something I wasn't quite sure I believed), and headed to the park to play with his friends. I mean...hang out. You know, whatever middle schoolers think is cool. When I was 11, we totally still played. A lot. And rode bikes. But, what do I know? I was a girl. Ew.
I gave up on the nap and made chili for dinner instead, even though I wasn't even remotely hungry. Our local football team played a nationally televised game tonight, so I tuned into that (after a short chat with my sister), and saw the team run out onto the field, waving a flag with "21" on it. Last fall, the football team lost a member of their team...a person that was described as the heart of the team, when he jumped into an area lake with his friends and never resurfaced. That same week, another boy at our local high school took his own life. It was a sad week, and it's been a sad year. There are reminders of them everywhere, so it was almost comforting to see that this young man is still remembered almost a year after his death. It will be a hard few weeks...but this community is like a family, unlike anything I've ever seen. They rallied around these two families, not just our immediate community, but school districts around us: football teams and youth groups and entire student bodies. It was amazing to witness, and still chokes me up when I think about it.
So, I was watching, and all of a sudden, I lost my signal. This isn't anything new. I lose my signal all the time, but then I noticed a foreign sound outside. Rain! Steady, pounding rain. Words cannot describe my joy, and I can't wait to go to bed, in hopes that I'll get a solid night's sleep for once.
In fact...zzzzzzz
Aubs
Mom: 1, Middle Schooler: 0
Well, if you were anywhere in the general vicinity of Texas today, you probably heard the battle between my middle schooler and me. It was loud. And ugly. There was yelling and screaming and paper ripping and drooling and gagging and tons of crying.
And I just stared at him, making a fool of himself, not even wanting to laugh (which is abnormal) because I was so horrified at this massive hissy fit I was witnessing.
A little over a week ago, his math class was given an assignment. The assignment was to make a creative book of vocabulary words. There were 20 words and she wanted them to make it neat and creative. Sounds easy, right? Well...N got it into his head that he had over two weeks to work on it, so when he came home from school today, he admitted to having yet another late assignment, and when he told me it was the vocabulary book, I got pissed.
I reminded him when it was due no less than three times, when I got email reminders. He gets the same reminders. So, he zipped through it, pleased with his work. He was less than pleased when I told him he was going to redo it. He was missing one of the words, and kept getting so frustrated with me because I was calling them "terms" not "vocab words." Um, newsflash. Same. Thing.
We went round and round, and I finally got this beast that didn't even resemble my child to email his teacher. Only I thought he might break the computer with all of the anger radiating through his body, so I told him to tell me what to type. She responded within the hour, and by that time, I had set him up with a new vocabulary book.
Oh, I also fed him. It turns out kids turn into mutant zombies who hate the world if they're starving within an inch of their lives. Nevermind the whole "snack after school" thing. That's strictly for amateurs.
He shot me the dirtiest looks imaginable as he re-wrote his vocabulary words, three to a page, complete with examples...you know, to make it creative. I'm not a miracle worker, okay? He finished, and begged to go to bed. The time? 7:55. And that's when I felt his forehead to make sure he wasn't sick.
He never acts this way...ever. Unless he's sick. And I can count the number of times he's been sick on one hand. I just knocked on every wooden surface in my living room, thank you very much.
Anyway, just in case you were wondering what the ruckus was all about, from Dallas to the panhandle, to the extreme Southern tip of Texas...it was just me and N...and I was just reminding him that moms totally hold all of the power to make kids redo assignments just because they can. And will. Especially when a lesson is to be learned.
Aubs
And I just stared at him, making a fool of himself, not even wanting to laugh (which is abnormal) because I was so horrified at this massive hissy fit I was witnessing.
A little over a week ago, his math class was given an assignment. The assignment was to make a creative book of vocabulary words. There were 20 words and she wanted them to make it neat and creative. Sounds easy, right? Well...N got it into his head that he had over two weeks to work on it, so when he came home from school today, he admitted to having yet another late assignment, and when he told me it was the vocabulary book, I got pissed.
I reminded him when it was due no less than three times, when I got email reminders. He gets the same reminders. So, he zipped through it, pleased with his work. He was less than pleased when I told him he was going to redo it. He was missing one of the words, and kept getting so frustrated with me because I was calling them "terms" not "vocab words." Um, newsflash. Same. Thing.
We went round and round, and I finally got this beast that didn't even resemble my child to email his teacher. Only I thought he might break the computer with all of the anger radiating through his body, so I told him to tell me what to type. She responded within the hour, and by that time, I had set him up with a new vocabulary book.
Oh, I also fed him. It turns out kids turn into mutant zombies who hate the world if they're starving within an inch of their lives. Nevermind the whole "snack after school" thing. That's strictly for amateurs.
He shot me the dirtiest looks imaginable as he re-wrote his vocabulary words, three to a page, complete with examples...you know, to make it creative. I'm not a miracle worker, okay? He finished, and begged to go to bed. The time? 7:55. And that's when I felt his forehead to make sure he wasn't sick.
He never acts this way...ever. Unless he's sick. And I can count the number of times he's been sick on one hand. I just knocked on every wooden surface in my living room, thank you very much.
Anyway, just in case you were wondering what the ruckus was all about, from Dallas to the panhandle, to the extreme Southern tip of Texas...it was just me and N...and I was just reminding him that moms totally hold all of the power to make kids redo assignments just because they can. And will. Especially when a lesson is to be learned.
Aubs
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
And the fun continues
I don't know...maybe I slept wrong last night, but this morning, I woke up in even more pain than before. Add to that the fact that I'm stubborn and refuse to slow down, and that's probably one of the (many) reasons why I haven't recovered from this apparent injury. It has to be a pulled muscle, and that sucks because that means I have to be getting old. Boo!
Anyway, this morning was just awful, and this morning just so happened to be one of the mornings that I work, which requires some mild lifting and lots of abdominal/torso moving. Super! I popped some extra-strength Advil and went on about my business. And, honestly, it wasn't too bad. Five hours did feel like 5 million, but I had a little bit of downtime during the day, so I got to sit and relax a little. You know...until I got bored. It's funny. I have no problem sitting around, being bored at my apartment, but almost anywhere else? Nope. I can't do it.
I came home from work and plopped on the couch with my buddy, the heating pad. I was out like a light in less than 10 minutes. I heard N come in the door after school (B's at his dad's this week), and in my dream-like state, I heard him talking about the computer (he swears this never happened) and listening to Eminem (which he guiltily admitted DID happen), and then he asked me if he could go to the park to play football. And that's when I snapped back to reality and realized I'd been asleep for an hour and a half and it was almost time for baseball practice, and oh crap...I still need to go to the grocery store.
We went to baseball practice, where I tried to get comfortable without screeching in pain (not an easy feat), and it didn't help that N was in a terrible mood. He was catching in the batting cages, and got hit with the bat. He acted like a pill for the rest of the evening, except for when he was showing off his fantastic bruise from last weekend's game. There's a huge marbled bruise on his upper arm. It's a beauty. Anyway, after practice, we ran one of the other boys home, and then he accompanied me to Target for groceries.
He wasn't thrilled about this, however, he needed body wash and shampoo, and that's how I "got" him. It wasn't a long trip, by any stretch of the imagination, but by the time we got home, we were both ready to veg. We ate dinner, watched a little baseball (the Rangers FINALLY snapped their losing streak!), and he headed off to bed, on his own, earlier than normal.
I'm wondering if he's getting sick. I can't remember the last time he volunteered to go to bed before the scheduled bedtime...
Aubs
Anyway, this morning was just awful, and this morning just so happened to be one of the mornings that I work, which requires some mild lifting and lots of abdominal/torso moving. Super! I popped some extra-strength Advil and went on about my business. And, honestly, it wasn't too bad. Five hours did feel like 5 million, but I had a little bit of downtime during the day, so I got to sit and relax a little. You know...until I got bored. It's funny. I have no problem sitting around, being bored at my apartment, but almost anywhere else? Nope. I can't do it.
I came home from work and plopped on the couch with my buddy, the heating pad. I was out like a light in less than 10 minutes. I heard N come in the door after school (B's at his dad's this week), and in my dream-like state, I heard him talking about the computer (he swears this never happened) and listening to Eminem (which he guiltily admitted DID happen), and then he asked me if he could go to the park to play football. And that's when I snapped back to reality and realized I'd been asleep for an hour and a half and it was almost time for baseball practice, and oh crap...I still need to go to the grocery store.
We went to baseball practice, where I tried to get comfortable without screeching in pain (not an easy feat), and it didn't help that N was in a terrible mood. He was catching in the batting cages, and got hit with the bat. He acted like a pill for the rest of the evening, except for when he was showing off his fantastic bruise from last weekend's game. There's a huge marbled bruise on his upper arm. It's a beauty. Anyway, after practice, we ran one of the other boys home, and then he accompanied me to Target for groceries.
He wasn't thrilled about this, however, he needed body wash and shampoo, and that's how I "got" him. It wasn't a long trip, by any stretch of the imagination, but by the time we got home, we were both ready to veg. We ate dinner, watched a little baseball (the Rangers FINALLY snapped their losing streak!), and he headed off to bed, on his own, earlier than normal.
I'm wondering if he's getting sick. I can't remember the last time he volunteered to go to bed before the scheduled bedtime...
Aubs
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
9 hours
One of my classes started today...a math class, one of the four classes I need to graduate this spring. It is an online class, thanks to the greatness of scheduling conflicts, and math is not my favorite subject of all time. I decided to jump in with a decent attitude and see what happened.
I took the morning to get as enthusiastic as possible. Okay, who am I kidding? I took a nap. With my pulled muscle or whatever, I haven't been sleeping well, and the couch has been the most restful spot thus far. Who knew? Anyway, I geared up for the class around lunchtime, and was still hard at work at 3:10 when B walked in the front door.
Long (boring) story, short? I did homework in that class for nine hours. Nine. As in, one more than eight. As in, probably four more hours than I tend to sleep at night. In the introductory email(s), the professor said we should expect to spend at least nine hours a week working on this class. My question is, if I do nine hours in one day, I'm good, right?
I have so many deadlines this week, and I'm trying to prioritize them a little bit. It's proving to be difficult, and even though I have three days a week to devote to my classes, it's still hard to get it all done. I'm somewhat concerned about how it will be when the next class starts in a couple of weeks. Staggering is a great idea in theory, but it's also great(er) when the end dates are staggered as well. In this case, they are not.
So, I'm off to recline on a heat pack, because I seem to get better results with heat, although, at this point, I'd be so happy to be able to take a normal, semi-deep breath. I'd love to yawn or cough or even hiccup without feeling like a jillion knives are stabbing me in between my ribs.
This is the most fun ever! Except...not.
Aubs
I took the morning to get as enthusiastic as possible. Okay, who am I kidding? I took a nap. With my pulled muscle or whatever, I haven't been sleeping well, and the couch has been the most restful spot thus far. Who knew? Anyway, I geared up for the class around lunchtime, and was still hard at work at 3:10 when B walked in the front door.
Long (boring) story, short? I did homework in that class for nine hours. Nine. As in, one more than eight. As in, probably four more hours than I tend to sleep at night. In the introductory email(s), the professor said we should expect to spend at least nine hours a week working on this class. My question is, if I do nine hours in one day, I'm good, right?
I have so many deadlines this week, and I'm trying to prioritize them a little bit. It's proving to be difficult, and even though I have three days a week to devote to my classes, it's still hard to get it all done. I'm somewhat concerned about how it will be when the next class starts in a couple of weeks. Staggering is a great idea in theory, but it's also great(er) when the end dates are staggered as well. In this case, they are not.
So, I'm off to recline on a heat pack, because I seem to get better results with heat, although, at this point, I'd be so happy to be able to take a normal, semi-deep breath. I'd love to yawn or cough or even hiccup without feeling like a jillion knives are stabbing me in between my ribs.
This is the most fun ever! Except...not.
Aubs
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Just...ow.
I've never broken a bone or even come close (knock on wood), but I swear it feels like I've cracked a rib or two, and I have no idea how I could've done it. I haven't done anything remotely damaging, and yet, it hurts every single time I try to take anything deeper than a shallow breath on the left side.
It's so fantastic.
B and I spent the day watching movies and hanging out. He's sticking around for an extra day since his dad wants to keep him for an extra day next week because they're taking him to a Cowboys game. He asked me every 5 minutes when N was going to come home, and when he finally did, they started fighting. I could've opened a bottle of wine (I sure thought about it), but I stayed strong and had a quick chat with my cousin while they ate a really random assortment of breakfast items for dinner. B opted for cinnamon Eggo waffles and sausage links, while N required more effort with his scrambled eggs (with cheese) and sausage links.
Then, I got a text from my mom, saying she was bringing over the computer her friend has been cleaning up for the boys to use. With all of my classes online this semester, N's school being all technology-driven, and B having daily online homework as well, it was just NOT working for all of us to use my laptop...especially since we all seemed to need it simultaneously.
Up next: a different monitor (this one is a huge box and is a tight fit on the desk) and speakers...because it's hard to watch videos for school without sound. I'm so thrilled that they have their own computer and their own space to use it (complete with parental controls), and I'm so grateful that my mom was able to give them her old desktop.
Side note: My nails are getting so long that it's uncomfortable to type.
I know. That's breaking news.
It's 9:36, and I'm stinking exhausted already...and why? I haven't done anything all day long.
I really hope I break out of this funk at some point...sooner rather than later would be preferable.
Aubs
It's so fantastic.
B and I spent the day watching movies and hanging out. He's sticking around for an extra day since his dad wants to keep him for an extra day next week because they're taking him to a Cowboys game. He asked me every 5 minutes when N was going to come home, and when he finally did, they started fighting. I could've opened a bottle of wine (I sure thought about it), but I stayed strong and had a quick chat with my cousin while they ate a really random assortment of breakfast items for dinner. B opted for cinnamon Eggo waffles and sausage links, while N required more effort with his scrambled eggs (with cheese) and sausage links.
Then, I got a text from my mom, saying she was bringing over the computer her friend has been cleaning up for the boys to use. With all of my classes online this semester, N's school being all technology-driven, and B having daily online homework as well, it was just NOT working for all of us to use my laptop...especially since we all seemed to need it simultaneously.
Up next: a different monitor (this one is a huge box and is a tight fit on the desk) and speakers...because it's hard to watch videos for school without sound. I'm so thrilled that they have their own computer and their own space to use it (complete with parental controls), and I'm so grateful that my mom was able to give them her old desktop.
Side note: My nails are getting so long that it's uncomfortable to type.
I know. That's breaking news.
It's 9:36, and I'm stinking exhausted already...and why? I haven't done anything all day long.
I really hope I break out of this funk at some point...sooner rather than later would be preferable.
Aubs
Yay, baseball!
It never fails...the night I send my kids off to sleep elsewhere, ALWAYS results in a much earlier morning than necessary. I was wide awake before 7 am, and that was not exactly what I had intended.
I mostly just tossed and turned for an hour or two, willing myself to go back to bed, but without success. I contemplated working on homework, but that was a no-go, too. At 10:00, I finally arranged to pick B up, and we spent the day together, just hanging out.
Around 3:00, we decided (okay, I decided) that we should go to Bath & Body Works because they were having their huge candle sale, and I'm on my last round of candles, which are mostly depleted. I think they're going to stay that way because...EW. Everything was pumpkin: Pumpkin Blueberry, Pumpkin Waffles, Carved Pumpkin, and so on.
I. Hate. Pumpkin. I don't eat it in pies or breads or muffins. I'll make 'em, but I won't eat 'em. I love the color, and I'll wear it even if it makes me look terrible, but I'm not a pumpkin eater. Gag.
Aside from that disheartening discovery, I've realized that B&BW no longer carries my favorite smell in stores, either. If I want any Cherry Blossom (the original, not Japanese Cherry Blossom), I have to order it online or see if I can score it on Ebay. When they do the semi-annual sale, I always stock up on Cherry Blossom, Honeysuckle, and Caribbean Escape soaps, because they're my favorite and hard to find. I wish I could like something more mainstream, but I dare to be different.
Anyway, after that fiasco was deemed a total failure, we went to Bed, Bath & Beyond to check out their candles. My dad always gets this candle that's "Merlot," and it smells fabulous. There's also one that comes in cherry blossom, but they were sold out. You know why? Because cherry blossom is the best. Ever. Grrrrrrrr.
After that, we went back home and packed up a cooler with some water and snacks because it was time for the Ironbirds (N's team this fall) to play the Tigers (our rivals, the Marlins, from last season). For "Fall Ball," the league combines age groups since there are usually less participants, so there are 4 teams with 11-13 players. They range in age from 10-12/13, depending on birthdays. Anyone who's 10 will be 11 before Spring Ball starts, so they'll play in the U11 league in the spring (like N, who just turned 11), but in the fall, they play U12. So complicated. The Tigers head coach coached N last fall when he was a Marlin, and this season, he has both of his sons on his team. That team is a powerhouse, y'all.
I got stuck keeping track of runs and outs, which is frustrating when you realize, "Oh crap! I'm supposed to be keeping up with balls and strikes." I'm hoping to get fired. N got nailed by a pitch when he was up to bat for the second time, right below his left shoulder. He had a nice bruise forming by the time the game was over. With the Marlins last season (and the Tigers this season, it seems) we never seemed to come alive until the 4th inning. This game was no exception. They were up, 8-0, until we scored 5 runs in the bottom of the 4th. They have a group of players who've been playing together for a long time. We have several who've never played ball before. We even had a boy cave under pressure on the mound and start crying because he couldn't get the ball over the plate...poor kid.
It was a fun game, anyway, and N is not being as serious, which I love...except he took it too far tonight and got all of the boys in the dugout repeating the stupid "Hump DAYYYYY!" commercial. You know the one...the camel walking through the office? Ugh.
I wish he had a "mute" button sometimes.
Aubs
I mostly just tossed and turned for an hour or two, willing myself to go back to bed, but without success. I contemplated working on homework, but that was a no-go, too. At 10:00, I finally arranged to pick B up, and we spent the day together, just hanging out.
Around 3:00, we decided (okay, I decided) that we should go to Bath & Body Works because they were having their huge candle sale, and I'm on my last round of candles, which are mostly depleted. I think they're going to stay that way because...EW. Everything was pumpkin: Pumpkin Blueberry, Pumpkin Waffles, Carved Pumpkin, and so on.
I. Hate. Pumpkin. I don't eat it in pies or breads or muffins. I'll make 'em, but I won't eat 'em. I love the color, and I'll wear it even if it makes me look terrible, but I'm not a pumpkin eater. Gag.
Aside from that disheartening discovery, I've realized that B&BW no longer carries my favorite smell in stores, either. If I want any Cherry Blossom (the original, not Japanese Cherry Blossom), I have to order it online or see if I can score it on Ebay. When they do the semi-annual sale, I always stock up on Cherry Blossom, Honeysuckle, and Caribbean Escape soaps, because they're my favorite and hard to find. I wish I could like something more mainstream, but I dare to be different.
Anyway, after that fiasco was deemed a total failure, we went to Bed, Bath & Beyond to check out their candles. My dad always gets this candle that's "Merlot," and it smells fabulous. There's also one that comes in cherry blossom, but they were sold out. You know why? Because cherry blossom is the best. Ever. Grrrrrrrr.
After that, we went back home and packed up a cooler with some water and snacks because it was time for the Ironbirds (N's team this fall) to play the Tigers (our rivals, the Marlins, from last season). For "Fall Ball," the league combines age groups since there are usually less participants, so there are 4 teams with 11-13 players. They range in age from 10-12/13, depending on birthdays. Anyone who's 10 will be 11 before Spring Ball starts, so they'll play in the U11 league in the spring (like N, who just turned 11), but in the fall, they play U12. So complicated. The Tigers head coach coached N last fall when he was a Marlin, and this season, he has both of his sons on his team. That team is a powerhouse, y'all.
I got stuck keeping track of runs and outs, which is frustrating when you realize, "Oh crap! I'm supposed to be keeping up with balls and strikes." I'm hoping to get fired. N got nailed by a pitch when he was up to bat for the second time, right below his left shoulder. He had a nice bruise forming by the time the game was over. With the Marlins last season (and the Tigers this season, it seems) we never seemed to come alive until the 4th inning. This game was no exception. They were up, 8-0, until we scored 5 runs in the bottom of the 4th. They have a group of players who've been playing together for a long time. We have several who've never played ball before. We even had a boy cave under pressure on the mound and start crying because he couldn't get the ball over the plate...poor kid.
It was a fun game, anyway, and N is not being as serious, which I love...except he took it too far tonight and got all of the boys in the dugout repeating the stupid "Hump DAYYYYY!" commercial. You know the one...the camel walking through the office? Ugh.
I wish he had a "mute" button sometimes.
Aubs
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Friday the 13th
Each time I think of "Friday the 13th," I hear little lightning crashes dancing around inside my head, very ominous-like. You know...my head is a funny little thing sometimes.
Anyhow, the day was busy from start to finish. I had a few deadlines for an American Literature class I'm taking this semester, and I knew it would be a late night for me, so I spent the first few hours of my day working on creating a quiz about early American Literature and then writing a thought provoking response to a short story by Mark Twain. It was all fascinating.
Since I knew I was going to be dateless for the festivities this evening, I realized I needed a smaller purse of some sort. So, like any "normal" girl would, I made a list of places I should check and set off on an adventure. My adventure was not super successful, until I realized that there was a Charming Charlie near my apartment now, and they always have clutches in a rainbow of colors and sizes. I was reeling from my successful trip to Sam's where I purchased bottled water and discovered that they had one of my favorite wines back in stock. When I got to Charming Charlie's, I wondered around for a while, feeling overwhelmed. Accessories are not my thing. I'm good if I put on my watch, stud earrings, and the ring that belonged to my grandmother, and half the time, I leave the ring in my drawer based on day-to-day activities. I'd hate to see anything happen to it, and I hope to pass it down someday.
Anyway, I found a silver clutch, unlike anything I'd ever use, but the price was right ($10) so off I went...and here's where it gets exciting. (There should be a heavy dose of sarcasm radiating from that sentence.) No, I am excited, actually. I've been wanting to try out this hair place for FOREVER, based on recommendations from a good friend of mine. They only do blowouts and styles...it's called the "drybar," and I went to the Plano location at the Shops at Legacy. Y'all, it was super. Brittany washed and dried my hair in no time at all, and then spent some time working on curls. My problem is that my hair will hold curl without a problem...in dry, non-humid conditions. Sweat-inducing conditions? Forget it. And it looked really great...until it didn't. And it stopped looking great way before the wedding, but I didn't even care. It was $35 well spent, and I'm totally looking forward to going again and trying a "sleek & straight" blowout. You know, next time I have something special to look forward to.
I rushed home and geared up for the wedding, dropping N at baseball practice in 5" heels and a cocktail dress, and then spent 97 minutes in traffic, trying to cut across the city to make it to the event on time. I made it with about 15 minutes to spare. I hung out with my dad and brother-in-law and some of the guys, then snuck upstairs to find my Seester and the ladies in the bridal party. The ceremony was just right for the bride and groom: full of laughter and smiles and happiness. As the staff readied the room for the reception, my phone rang. "Mom, I forgot to pack underwear or socks. Help!"
And that was how I found myself leaving the reception and getting in my car just as I overheard the DJ announce the entrance of the newlyweds. And by the time I got close to my apartment, I received another phone call: "Hey, Mom, it's cool. Dad bought me some boxers and socks for at his house. Have fun at your party or whatever."
And that, my friends, is how I spent the evening watching the Red Sox game, before switching to The Hunger Games, and calling it a night.
Do I know how to party, or what?
Aubs
Anyhow, the day was busy from start to finish. I had a few deadlines for an American Literature class I'm taking this semester, and I knew it would be a late night for me, so I spent the first few hours of my day working on creating a quiz about early American Literature and then writing a thought provoking response to a short story by Mark Twain. It was all fascinating.
Since I knew I was going to be dateless for the festivities this evening, I realized I needed a smaller purse of some sort. So, like any "normal" girl would, I made a list of places I should check and set off on an adventure. My adventure was not super successful, until I realized that there was a Charming Charlie near my apartment now, and they always have clutches in a rainbow of colors and sizes. I was reeling from my successful trip to Sam's where I purchased bottled water and discovered that they had one of my favorite wines back in stock. When I got to Charming Charlie's, I wondered around for a while, feeling overwhelmed. Accessories are not my thing. I'm good if I put on my watch, stud earrings, and the ring that belonged to my grandmother, and half the time, I leave the ring in my drawer based on day-to-day activities. I'd hate to see anything happen to it, and I hope to pass it down someday.
Anyway, I found a silver clutch, unlike anything I'd ever use, but the price was right ($10) so off I went...and here's where it gets exciting. (There should be a heavy dose of sarcasm radiating from that sentence.) No, I am excited, actually. I've been wanting to try out this hair place for FOREVER, based on recommendations from a good friend of mine. They only do blowouts and styles...it's called the "drybar," and I went to the Plano location at the Shops at Legacy. Y'all, it was super. Brittany washed and dried my hair in no time at all, and then spent some time working on curls. My problem is that my hair will hold curl without a problem...in dry, non-humid conditions. Sweat-inducing conditions? Forget it. And it looked really great...until it didn't. And it stopped looking great way before the wedding, but I didn't even care. It was $35 well spent, and I'm totally looking forward to going again and trying a "sleek & straight" blowout. You know, next time I have something special to look forward to.
I rushed home and geared up for the wedding, dropping N at baseball practice in 5" heels and a cocktail dress, and then spent 97 minutes in traffic, trying to cut across the city to make it to the event on time. I made it with about 15 minutes to spare. I hung out with my dad and brother-in-law and some of the guys, then snuck upstairs to find my Seester and the ladies in the bridal party. The ceremony was just right for the bride and groom: full of laughter and smiles and happiness. As the staff readied the room for the reception, my phone rang. "Mom, I forgot to pack underwear or socks. Help!"
And that was how I found myself leaving the reception and getting in my car just as I overheard the DJ announce the entrance of the newlyweds. And by the time I got close to my apartment, I received another phone call: "Hey, Mom, it's cool. Dad bought me some boxers and socks for at his house. Have fun at your party or whatever."
And that, my friends, is how I spent the evening watching the Red Sox game, before switching to The Hunger Games, and calling it a night.
Do I know how to party, or what?
Aubs
(My hair, as it was already starting to fall...oh well)
Thursday, September 12, 2013
All is NOT fair in love and war
Several months ago, during Spring baseball, I was kind of pushed into the role of team mom/organizer. Okay, I wasn't pushed, but I was a lot more organized than N's coach, so I took on the role so MY life would be less chaotic. You know, it's all about me... Anyway, in taking on that role, I got to know a lot of the parents in the league, especially those who had children on the team. One of them became a great friend to me; we have a lot of similar personality traits (I mostly think this is a good thing), similar interests, and we became fast friends.
As a younger than average parent in our city, there are a lot of times where I feel like I'm not a good fit because of my age, so the fact that this parent was only a year older than I am was another fantastic similarity. He and I talked often, and our kids became close, and it was great for my boys to have friends that I actually liked having around. You know how that goes...when your kids absolutely LOVE people who drive you insane to the point where you don't want them around? These kids were the polar opposite. Life was great.
A couple of months after we met, our friendship evolved into something a little more complex. I can't say for sure when we started feeling things outside of the normal friendship range, but it was fairly simultaneous. I've been a single parent for a long time, and he was just starting his journey as a single parent, so who better to help him than someone who knows the ropes? It was an entirely new experience for me...to have someone around who actually wanted to be there, who wanted to be there even when I pushed him away. And I did push him away. A lot. This whole idea of trying a relationship after being single for several years absolutely terrified me.
But, I tried. And after a lot of coaxing and gentle reminders, I realized that it was a great thing, and how blessed I was to have met this man who just randomly showed up in my life one Monday after Spring Break. We spent the first half of the summer together, when he wasn't on vacation with his kids/parents, and life was better than I ever could have imagined.
And then, it wasn't.
I don't know what happened. That's a lie. I absolutely do. I'm a control freak (one of many things I dislike about myself), and he and I had very different ideas on how to handle certain situations. I felt like my way was the only "right" way because I wasn't even trying to see it from his point of view. He pushed away, I pushed away, and we were both pissed...eventually we talked about it, but I don't think it ever fully went away. I know it didn't.
The second half of the summer was more forced than the relaxed nature of the previous several months, and that was hard to take, I think...for both of us. My boys (well, B) never stopped asking if his boys could come over, if he could come over for game nights, but the frequency became less and less. His work schedule picked back up and quadrupled because he had (unbeknownst to me) slacked off on his workload in order to spend time with me over the summer (plus two lengthy vacations with his boys), resulting in a September where he's traveling all but approximately 11 days. I hate that for him. I hate that for his boys. And, yes...I'm selfish enough to hate that for me, too.
I have tried my hardest to keep things going, but I'm afraid I have to admit defeat here...and that breaks my heart. It really does, more than one could possibly imagine.
(Entering melodrama....NOW)
I've cared about people before. I've claimed to be "in love" before. It doesn't compare to not only what I feel for this man, but also what I felt in return. It was real. It was exciting. It was comfortable, but passionate all at the same time. We moved way too quickly in the beginning, planning way too far into the future and getting ahead of ourselves. One of us slowed down, but the other kept on trucking. Then, we both slowed down, but we were on different timetables still...one slower than the other. We both picked back up, but again, on different levels. And somewhere in there, the roles became reversed...and the slower one became the one who was ready to push it forward.
I don't even know how that happened. So, here I sit, on the eve of a dear friend's wedding, and my date for the evening is a thousand miles away (both figuratively and literally). I am sad, but I am still foolishly hopeful that it will all pan out and we will work through the issues we have to where we can be an "us" again. I know breaks are good sometimes, and sometimes they make each person realize what really matters in the grand scheme of things, but they can also be bad. So, so bad.
This is a huge deal to me because I swore I'd never date again. Why? Because I didn't want to ever feel like this again. I'm happy(ish) by myself. I can live...by myself. I've done it for years. The bad part is that I was blessed to be able to share the last several months of my life with a man who has been more caring and kind and loving to me than any man I've ever even contemplated a relationship with, and I'm saddened by the fact that it's come to this. (I'm also not done talking about it, I'm sure...but this is more than enough for one night. Tune in soon for a breakdown of what I did wrong vs. what he did wrong. It's a short list.)
Is it totally over? I have no idea. It feels like it...but everyone's definition of a "break" is different. Maybe getting through the next six weeks will make us stronger and put another notch in our "tough stuff we've made it through" belt, or maybe the whole "out of sight, out of mind" saying is true...and we'll just move forward, yet apart, without real closure to the situation. Either way, it doesn't bode well for my already damaged heart/mind that I thought was fixed, but apparently, it was only temporary. But the great thing about me (What? There's just one?!) is that I'm really good at building bridges. I just don't want to burn this one.
Aubs
P.S. Know what sucks more than being in your early 30s and attending a wedding of a super-close friend (as in you've called her your sister for as long as you've known her) by yourself when you previously RSVP'd for two since your boyfriend was planning to be your date? Well, I'm sure there are tons of things...but I'm being shallow and melancholy, so I'll just say attending a wedding as a single woman, without a date, totally sucks. A lot.
As a younger than average parent in our city, there are a lot of times where I feel like I'm not a good fit because of my age, so the fact that this parent was only a year older than I am was another fantastic similarity. He and I talked often, and our kids became close, and it was great for my boys to have friends that I actually liked having around. You know how that goes...when your kids absolutely LOVE people who drive you insane to the point where you don't want them around? These kids were the polar opposite. Life was great.
A couple of months after we met, our friendship evolved into something a little more complex. I can't say for sure when we started feeling things outside of the normal friendship range, but it was fairly simultaneous. I've been a single parent for a long time, and he was just starting his journey as a single parent, so who better to help him than someone who knows the ropes? It was an entirely new experience for me...to have someone around who actually wanted to be there, who wanted to be there even when I pushed him away. And I did push him away. A lot. This whole idea of trying a relationship after being single for several years absolutely terrified me.
But, I tried. And after a lot of coaxing and gentle reminders, I realized that it was a great thing, and how blessed I was to have met this man who just randomly showed up in my life one Monday after Spring Break. We spent the first half of the summer together, when he wasn't on vacation with his kids/parents, and life was better than I ever could have imagined.
And then, it wasn't.
I don't know what happened. That's a lie. I absolutely do. I'm a control freak (one of many things I dislike about myself), and he and I had very different ideas on how to handle certain situations. I felt like my way was the only "right" way because I wasn't even trying to see it from his point of view. He pushed away, I pushed away, and we were both pissed...eventually we talked about it, but I don't think it ever fully went away. I know it didn't.
The second half of the summer was more forced than the relaxed nature of the previous several months, and that was hard to take, I think...for both of us. My boys (well, B) never stopped asking if his boys could come over, if he could come over for game nights, but the frequency became less and less. His work schedule picked back up and quadrupled because he had (unbeknownst to me) slacked off on his workload in order to spend time with me over the summer (plus two lengthy vacations with his boys), resulting in a September where he's traveling all but approximately 11 days. I hate that for him. I hate that for his boys. And, yes...I'm selfish enough to hate that for me, too.
I have tried my hardest to keep things going, but I'm afraid I have to admit defeat here...and that breaks my heart. It really does, more than one could possibly imagine.
(Entering melodrama....NOW)
I've cared about people before. I've claimed to be "in love" before. It doesn't compare to not only what I feel for this man, but also what I felt in return. It was real. It was exciting. It was comfortable, but passionate all at the same time. We moved way too quickly in the beginning, planning way too far into the future and getting ahead of ourselves. One of us slowed down, but the other kept on trucking. Then, we both slowed down, but we were on different timetables still...one slower than the other. We both picked back up, but again, on different levels. And somewhere in there, the roles became reversed...and the slower one became the one who was ready to push it forward.
I don't even know how that happened. So, here I sit, on the eve of a dear friend's wedding, and my date for the evening is a thousand miles away (both figuratively and literally). I am sad, but I am still foolishly hopeful that it will all pan out and we will work through the issues we have to where we can be an "us" again. I know breaks are good sometimes, and sometimes they make each person realize what really matters in the grand scheme of things, but they can also be bad. So, so bad.
This is a huge deal to me because I swore I'd never date again. Why? Because I didn't want to ever feel like this again. I'm happy(ish) by myself. I can live...by myself. I've done it for years. The bad part is that I was blessed to be able to share the last several months of my life with a man who has been more caring and kind and loving to me than any man I've ever even contemplated a relationship with, and I'm saddened by the fact that it's come to this. (I'm also not done talking about it, I'm sure...but this is more than enough for one night. Tune in soon for a breakdown of what I did wrong vs. what he did wrong. It's a short list.)
Is it totally over? I have no idea. It feels like it...but everyone's definition of a "break" is different. Maybe getting through the next six weeks will make us stronger and put another notch in our "tough stuff we've made it through" belt, or maybe the whole "out of sight, out of mind" saying is true...and we'll just move forward, yet apart, without real closure to the situation. Either way, it doesn't bode well for my already damaged heart/mind that I thought was fixed, but apparently, it was only temporary. But the great thing about me (What? There's just one?!) is that I'm really good at building bridges. I just don't want to burn this one.
Aubs
P.S. Know what sucks more than being in your early 30s and attending a wedding of a super-close friend (as in you've called her your sister for as long as you've known her) by yourself when you previously RSVP'd for two since your boyfriend was planning to be your date? Well, I'm sure there are tons of things...but I'm being shallow and melancholy, so I'll just say attending a wedding as a single woman, without a date, totally sucks. A lot.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Yeah, I totally dropped the ball...
Y'all, I'm super sorry. I was doing so well...I was 108 days away from having a perfect year of posts.
What happened, you ask?
This summer happened. It was one of the most boring and uneventful summers ever. There was literally nothing of major interest to report. Oh, I had some adventures in life and love and parenting, but aside from a couple of trips to Houston, my boys didn't really do much this summer.
Here's a brief recap:
In June, I went to Pennsylvania for a few days. I tagged along on a business trip with a guy I think is pretty fantastic. I was apprehensive, I'll admit...because I don't allow myself to "feel" feelings for anyone, but by the end of the trip, I was feeling, not because I felt like I had to or needed to, but because I genuinely wanted to. And that, my friends, is a fantastic feeling. We flew into Baltimore, then took a trip to Gettysburg. He had a couple of meetings, so I did some reading/relaxing while he was working. We stayed in Johnstown for another meeting (site of the devastating Johnstown flood of 1889), and also went to the United 93 Memorial, which is part of the reason why I decided to post today (but I'll get to that in a minute). We ended our trip with a stay in Hershey, complete with a visit to the Hershey Museum, which was a total blast...even for someone who isn't a huge chocolate fan. It was relaxing and fun and just what I needed since I was kind of on the fence with this whole potential relationship thing (again, I'll get to that in a minute or maybe a day or two).
This summer, B alternated two week blocks between my house and his dad's house, and when he was at his dad's house, he went to a "day camp" where they did a lot of gymnastic-ish activities. Halfway through the summer, B opted out of swimming everyday and started spending 8 hours a day in the gym. He's all about gymnastics now, and loving every minute. I'm loving that he has an outlet for his energy, because let's face it: as cute as he looked in that baseball uniform, there was entirely too much down time for him on the field and in the dugout. The kid has to be on the move constantly.
N stayed with me pretty much all summer, except for a few days here and there when he went to his dad's or spent time with his grandmother. He wasn't too thrilled about it, and even asked me if he could lie about his summer to his friends. I feel for the kid, I really do, but I can think of a bunch of summers where I didn't do much of anything. He and I spent 10 days in Houston towards the middle/end of July, hanging out with my dad. We went to a Sugarland Skeeters game with my dad, Stella, and my sister/brother-in-law, and had a great time. By the end of the game, N and David (my brother-in-law) were entertaining our section (and possibly several others) with all of the Beastie Boys songs they both knew. It was impressive. And loud.
We did Kaboomtown for July 3 (per usual) and had a great time. The boys and I went to see Despicable Me 2 with "Ahem," and then headed to stake out our spot. I sent them off to do something inside and hung out in the heat with my mom, reading a book, and glaring at people who tried to infringe on our territory. My cousins came to join the party, and when the boys were back, it was a lot of fun. The airshow is one of the best aspects of Kaboomtown, and "Ahem" is adorably obsessed with planes, fitting since he works in the industry. They were literally flying directly overhead, and it was fun to watch all of the guys in our group just staring, transfixed, at the sky above.
I also turned 32 this summer. I know. It was awesome. Actually, my birthday was less than great, but at some point, I have to grow up and realize that it's just another day. I'm figuring that'll happen when I'm 80. Maybe. Although the day was mostly a bust, "Ahem" and I went out for dinner and a movie, and he showed up with Gerber Daisies, which are my absolute favorite. Major points, for sure. The next morning, he and I went to Six Flags right when they opened, and rode all of the rides we wanted to ride that our kids weren't tall enough to ride. It was super fun! We ended the day with the Texas Giant...and then, three days later, that poor woman fell to her death while riding it. Such a sad story.
I found an extremely part-time job, where I only work two days a week while my boys are in school. My work schedule follows the school district calendar, so I'm off when they're off, and it's just been a huge blessing to have that something extra in my life. I'm taking a full course-load: 14 hours, in hopes that I'll be finished with a Science degree this spring/first summer semester. I'm also room mom (again) for 2A, which will be interesting doing it for the entire year (instead of just a few months), and team mom for N's baseball team: the Ironbirds. It will be a busy semester, and I'm glad for that...because I need the distraction. I thrive on chaos, apparently.
Now...for the United 93 Memorial. It was, by far, the most sobering place I've ever been. I've been to Arlington National Cemetery, and been moved to tears by the sheer number of graves in one place, but this? This was a random field in the middle of rural Pennsylvania. The crew and passengers of that plane are some pretty serious heroes in my book. They were able to find out from various loved ones what had already happened in New York and at the Pentagon and, after taking a vote, decided they wouldn't let another innocent life be taken, even if it meant losing their own. That is the definition of a hero. They overpowered the terrorists and died in a way I can't possibly imagine. Pulling into the entrance of this monument to their bravery, it just feels different. Walking down the sidewalk, lined with a black granite wall, the only thing separating visitors from the field where those 40 individuals rest, my eyes filled with tears...and stayed that way for the duration of my visit. The wall had cutouts evenly spaced throughout the length of the wall, where people left small tokens or notes, thanking those who lost their lives and offering words of hope and encouragement to their families. At the end of the wall, there was a white marble wall, with each name engraved upon it. To the left, a large (locked) wooden gate. If opened, one could walk directly to the boulder surrounded by American flags, the marker to show the point of impact.
Even now, almost three months after my visit, I get choked up thinking about it. This morning, my boys and I sat on the couch, discussing the importance of this day. We've talked about it the last couple of years, but I don't think either of them fully understood what 9/11 meant. As a middle schooler, N is becoming increasingly more aware, and I have his Social Studies teacher to thank for that. I explained to them that there would be a moment of silence and their principals would read a statement before that moment of silence. I told them it was to remember the heroes that lost their lives in New York, Pennsylvania, and at the Pentagon, and we sat and looked at the information I brought home from the United 93 Memorial. We talked about bravery and honor and how Americans (and the entire world, for that matter) will never forget what happened on 9/11/2001...and then B said, "Wow, mom...that was before N was even born."
And I was overcome with sadness. My boys will never know the world I grew up in. They will never experience the carefree childhood I experienced because the world has become increasingly more evil. And I vowed then and there that I would start living life in the moment instead of focusing on the other stuff...the stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. I know I will fail at times, but the times that I'm successful? I hope those are the times my boys will remember.
Life is far too short to waste time worrying/wondering what could happen. It's a wonderful thing to dream and think about possibilities, but only focusing on that? Well, it's not reality. And sometimes, I just really wish it could be.
Aubs
What happened, you ask?
This summer happened. It was one of the most boring and uneventful summers ever. There was literally nothing of major interest to report. Oh, I had some adventures in life and love and parenting, but aside from a couple of trips to Houston, my boys didn't really do much this summer.
Here's a brief recap:
In June, I went to Pennsylvania for a few days. I tagged along on a business trip with a guy I think is pretty fantastic. I was apprehensive, I'll admit...because I don't allow myself to "feel" feelings for anyone, but by the end of the trip, I was feeling, not because I felt like I had to or needed to, but because I genuinely wanted to. And that, my friends, is a fantastic feeling. We flew into Baltimore, then took a trip to Gettysburg. He had a couple of meetings, so I did some reading/relaxing while he was working. We stayed in Johnstown for another meeting (site of the devastating Johnstown flood of 1889), and also went to the United 93 Memorial, which is part of the reason why I decided to post today (but I'll get to that in a minute). We ended our trip with a stay in Hershey, complete with a visit to the Hershey Museum, which was a total blast...even for someone who isn't a huge chocolate fan. It was relaxing and fun and just what I needed since I was kind of on the fence with this whole potential relationship thing (again, I'll get to that in a minute or maybe a day or two).
This summer, B alternated two week blocks between my house and his dad's house, and when he was at his dad's house, he went to a "day camp" where they did a lot of gymnastic-ish activities. Halfway through the summer, B opted out of swimming everyday and started spending 8 hours a day in the gym. He's all about gymnastics now, and loving every minute. I'm loving that he has an outlet for his energy, because let's face it: as cute as he looked in that baseball uniform, there was entirely too much down time for him on the field and in the dugout. The kid has to be on the move constantly.
N stayed with me pretty much all summer, except for a few days here and there when he went to his dad's or spent time with his grandmother. He wasn't too thrilled about it, and even asked me if he could lie about his summer to his friends. I feel for the kid, I really do, but I can think of a bunch of summers where I didn't do much of anything. He and I spent 10 days in Houston towards the middle/end of July, hanging out with my dad. We went to a Sugarland Skeeters game with my dad, Stella, and my sister/brother-in-law, and had a great time. By the end of the game, N and David (my brother-in-law) were entertaining our section (and possibly several others) with all of the Beastie Boys songs they both knew. It was impressive. And loud.
We did Kaboomtown for July 3 (per usual) and had a great time. The boys and I went to see Despicable Me 2 with "Ahem," and then headed to stake out our spot. I sent them off to do something inside and hung out in the heat with my mom, reading a book, and glaring at people who tried to infringe on our territory. My cousins came to join the party, and when the boys were back, it was a lot of fun. The airshow is one of the best aspects of Kaboomtown, and "Ahem" is adorably obsessed with planes, fitting since he works in the industry. They were literally flying directly overhead, and it was fun to watch all of the guys in our group just staring, transfixed, at the sky above.
I also turned 32 this summer. I know. It was awesome. Actually, my birthday was less than great, but at some point, I have to grow up and realize that it's just another day. I'm figuring that'll happen when I'm 80. Maybe. Although the day was mostly a bust, "Ahem" and I went out for dinner and a movie, and he showed up with Gerber Daisies, which are my absolute favorite. Major points, for sure. The next morning, he and I went to Six Flags right when they opened, and rode all of the rides we wanted to ride that our kids weren't tall enough to ride. It was super fun! We ended the day with the Texas Giant...and then, three days later, that poor woman fell to her death while riding it. Such a sad story.
I found an extremely part-time job, where I only work two days a week while my boys are in school. My work schedule follows the school district calendar, so I'm off when they're off, and it's just been a huge blessing to have that something extra in my life. I'm taking a full course-load: 14 hours, in hopes that I'll be finished with a Science degree this spring/first summer semester. I'm also room mom (again) for 2A, which will be interesting doing it for the entire year (instead of just a few months), and team mom for N's baseball team: the Ironbirds. It will be a busy semester, and I'm glad for that...because I need the distraction. I thrive on chaos, apparently.
Now...for the United 93 Memorial. It was, by far, the most sobering place I've ever been. I've been to Arlington National Cemetery, and been moved to tears by the sheer number of graves in one place, but this? This was a random field in the middle of rural Pennsylvania. The crew and passengers of that plane are some pretty serious heroes in my book. They were able to find out from various loved ones what had already happened in New York and at the Pentagon and, after taking a vote, decided they wouldn't let another innocent life be taken, even if it meant losing their own. That is the definition of a hero. They overpowered the terrorists and died in a way I can't possibly imagine. Pulling into the entrance of this monument to their bravery, it just feels different. Walking down the sidewalk, lined with a black granite wall, the only thing separating visitors from the field where those 40 individuals rest, my eyes filled with tears...and stayed that way for the duration of my visit. The wall had cutouts evenly spaced throughout the length of the wall, where people left small tokens or notes, thanking those who lost their lives and offering words of hope and encouragement to their families. At the end of the wall, there was a white marble wall, with each name engraved upon it. To the left, a large (locked) wooden gate. If opened, one could walk directly to the boulder surrounded by American flags, the marker to show the point of impact.
Even now, almost three months after my visit, I get choked up thinking about it. This morning, my boys and I sat on the couch, discussing the importance of this day. We've talked about it the last couple of years, but I don't think either of them fully understood what 9/11 meant. As a middle schooler, N is becoming increasingly more aware, and I have his Social Studies teacher to thank for that. I explained to them that there would be a moment of silence and their principals would read a statement before that moment of silence. I told them it was to remember the heroes that lost their lives in New York, Pennsylvania, and at the Pentagon, and we sat and looked at the information I brought home from the United 93 Memorial. We talked about bravery and honor and how Americans (and the entire world, for that matter) will never forget what happened on 9/11/2001...and then B said, "Wow, mom...that was before N was even born."
And I was overcome with sadness. My boys will never know the world I grew up in. They will never experience the carefree childhood I experienced because the world has become increasingly more evil. And I vowed then and there that I would start living life in the moment instead of focusing on the other stuff...the stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. I know I will fail at times, but the times that I'm successful? I hope those are the times my boys will remember.
Life is far too short to waste time worrying/wondering what could happen. It's a wonderful thing to dream and think about possibilities, but only focusing on that? Well, it's not reality. And sometimes, I just really wish it could be.
Aubs
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